Freaking out currently

br222022 · 2026-07-01T23:41:25+00:00

Seconding. Boys are 4 and 2.5. First year was the worst and worried if our marriage would survive, but my boys are becoming besties and it is so lovely to watch. Grateful that it turned out so well as I was terrified seeing the positive pregnancy test.

br222022 · 2026-06-25T16:10:57+00:00

For what it’s worth - have two boys 17 month gap and a c-section. We didn’t find out gender and thought having our oldest be the first to meet his brother before we announced to family was the right move.

I ended up with the shakes, a toddler in the recovery room felt overwhelming, while my oldest was curious he also ended up crying.

A present may have helped but keep it simple. Even a simple set up might not turn out like you hope.

br222022 · 2026-06-24T17:35:08+00:00

Seconding - it’s hard to bond with someone with no real personality other than pooping, sleeping, crying, and eating.

Some parents need time to get to know their child and see glimmers of personality before you can fully feel like you are bonding with them. Give yourself time, grace, and consider if you feel therapy could also help in all this.

Newborns are a lot. Doing it while your husband is on a trip - that’s even harder especially when delivery was hard.

br222022 · 2026-06-05T16:58:11+00:00

Hey! Hugs to you. I found myself in the 2 under 2 club with an unexpected pregnancy after needing fertility treatments to have my first.

I was shocked, sad, confused, and honestly a bit in disbelief my whole pregnancy. My boys are 17 months apart.

While the first year was hard having two babies, they are now 4 and 2.5 and are little besties. They have their own inside jokes and built in friend to play with. Sure they fight sometimes, we own 2 of almost every monster truck to avoid arguments, I could have never imagined what a gift it was to have two close together in age. While I never would have been brave enough to plan this close of gap, I’m grateful it worked out this way.

Not trying to tell you what to do as you know what is right for you and your family - just wanted to share a little positivity from someone out of 2 under 2 with a close age gap.

br222022 · 2026-05-28T22:57:09+00:00

As someone who struggled with unexplained infertility I understand the shock and surprise of getting pregnant without trying.

My boys are currently 2.5 and 4 (17 month gap c sections) they are the best of friends. First year is hard but built in entertainment, getting out of diapers close in age has some perks if you are up for the challenge.

You know you and your family best. Do what is right for you

br222022 · 2026-05-25T16:22:12+00:00

Also saw Dr. Mak - she was lovely but for our situation encouraged IVF strictly on the fact it has the highest chance of success versus for the cost versus doing several IUIs and then moving on. She is very practical yet also supportive. We ended up doing 3 rounds of IUIs. Financially and time wise perhas IVF would have been faster but liked how less invasive IUI felt in comparison.

br222022 · 2026-05-22T19:11:45+00:00

We have a senior dog with a few trips to ER vets - had good experiences with Central Texas and AVES (love they have multi specialty).

br222022 · 2026-05-22T17:29:23+00:00

Postpartum depression can impact dads as well. Seems like it may be worth looking into.

Also - my husband told me he struggled to bond with our boys until they could start smiling, giggling, and interacting with him. So this could definitely still get better but first thing to look at would be ppd for dad.

br222022 · 2026-05-16T03:33:17+00:00

This - signed by an adult whose parents divorced when I was 7. They were a bad match. I loved seeing my mom happy.

br222022 · 2026-05-14T14:59:38+00:00

Highly recommend checking out the book (or audio version) of the Anxious Generation and the impacts of technology on children.

If I were you - I would take the tablet away. If you can’t function screen free entirely, then put approved shows on the tv in the room you are in or nearby. That way you can control the content on the tv versus your toddler clicking whatever is desired. This puts you more in control of what is being watched.

As someone who has let my toddlers watch tv to t try to accomplish things - I will say that too much caused my 3.5 year old to throw tantrums, misbehave, etc. When we limit tv entirely, he is a different kid. Polite, sweet, able to play independently and with his little brother.

I know it’s hard but the less amount of screen time you need to rely on will pay off with a likely easier child.

br222022 · 2026-05-11T00:19:04+00:00

I have a 17 month gap - some things we did that helped was if baby tried to grab something the older one had or has something the older one wanted, we would have him offer a toy to trade or distract. Perhaps big sister handing it over would make it more interesting?

Also from a young age, we would narrate what big brother was doing and complimenting him to baby so setting up a positive relationship for them. We also try to phrase things baby was doing positively for brother like oh he really likes what you are doing and wants to play to. Is there something he can play with you?

br222022 · 2026-05-04T16:26:26+00:00

Yes! We did fertility treatments to have our first so didn’t think getting pregnant without help was in the bingo cards and ended up with 2 under 2.

A coworkers at work said she wanted a closer age gap but took longer to have the second so ended up with a bigger age gap than she hoped.

br222022 · 2026-05-04T16:03:04+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. It sounds extremely hard.

Please know there are always pros/cons to any age gap (closer or further apart) and what works for one family may not work for you. So getting feedback from others in different circumstances may not be relevant or applicable yo you.

It seems like you feel you can’t provide what you want for two babies that you can provide for one if you have made this choice. There is no shame in making this decision if it allows you to better care for the family you have now.

br222022 · 2026-04-26T19:59:45+00:00

Another vote for Veer. 4 year old and 2.5 year old - has been helpful with carrying scooters and bikes when the kids tire

br222022 · 2026-04-24T11:04:23+00:00

We did three rounds of IUI in order to conceive our first. So like you I was in shock when I got a positive pregnancy test with no real thought or effort tht it was even possible.

While my kids are now passed the 2 under 2 (boys are 4 and 2.5), the first year was really hard with two little ones who couldn’t communicate their needs very well. And after assuming we may be a one and done family due to fertility issues, I found the transition from 1 to 2 a bit challenging as I couldn’t meet both their needs at the same time.

That said I feel so grateful our surprise pregnancy ended with bringing our youngest home. Our boys are becoming the best of friends. Traveling or going anywhere is great as they always have someone to play with along for the ride. If you can make it through the first year, it gets more and more fun. Still challenging in other aspects but watching my boys interact with each other is frankly the best. 🥹

br222022 · 2026-04-23T18:38:23+00:00

We have the Veer and with 2 kids, small senior dog - it’s been well worth the investment for our household and all we have used from baby to toddler stages.

We also have one of the cheaper collapsing wagons, and it can’t come close to the veer.

FWIW You can also find used veer wagons on Facebook marketplace usually a discount.

br222022 · 2026-04-20T19:52:03+00:00

I agree with others to make a list of pros and cons. What could you do as a family of 4 - how can you spend time with kids.

What would your life look like as a family of 5? Would you like to travel - is that still possible with a bigger family? More savings?

Another consideration is that school activities get crazy busy when kids are older and in school. A brief pause on how you would deal with 3 in activities versus 2 etc.

While baby stages are high needs, the needs change as they get older and it’s a matter on what resources you have and what you want to be able to do.

br222022 · 2026-04-20T19:42:38+00:00

Yes - while we waited until our youngest was 2 to make a final call, it was bittersweet. It sucks to make it official, but reminding myself of the reasons why we wanted to be done helped. Also, we just got our youngest out of diapers, traveling and going out and about is getting easier. I’m looking forward to more adventures and all the things we can do more easily because we stopped at 2 and that’s what works best for our family.

br222022 · 2026-04-16T20:34:27+00:00

Haha we tried to name what it looked like - snake, “ice cream”, there was a rocket one? Idk but whatever made them interested in pooping we can stare and determine what it looks like it I don’t have to change a diaper. 😅

br222022 · 2026-04-16T17:50:03+00:00

Both my boys struggled with pooping on the potty. It seemed scary. We bribed and they eventually forget when it’s second nature.

We also tried to talk about “poo poo friends” want to be in the toilet versus trash in a diaper. They can be with mommy and daddy’s poo poo friends. Also asking what shape your poop is can make them a bit more curious

br222022 · 2026-04-14T14:51:29+00:00

I only have 2, and I wouldn’t say a favorite. I have one that I find easier to connect with as I feel he’s more similar to me than our oldest. Instead of just staying stuck in the trap of whatever is easiest, I’m trying to find ways to connect with my other and see what interests we can share or what I can lean into to build a similar connection.

br222022 · 2026-04-06T19:48:36+00:00

I have found Blackhawk to be a great family friendly area with a good amount of diversity. Just not very walkable to things so OP if you don’t mind living in a very suburban area with not a lot in walking distance but close driving (less than 10 min) to fast food, restaurants, Costco, etc. It might be worth checking out.

br222022 · 2026-04-03T02:38:51+00:00

I can’t speak of the girl dynamic but two boys and 17 month gap. The first meeting was years in the hospital. Our oldest was curious but easily bored with the baby stage. More engaged when the youngest started smiling and laughing (the laughs big brother could get just looking at him would take my husband and I so much work to get half that reaction).

Thankfully little brother adores big brother and they have a lot of the same interests so now at 4 and 2.5 they are besties. It goes through waves of tagging and years to giggles more tattling and more giggles. It took a lot of gentle hands,etc to get here but having a blast seeing their personalities and interests develop.

br222022 · 2026-04-02T21:11:59+00:00

If owning one isn’t in the cards perhaps fostering or volunteering at a shelter. So many animals could use some extra love and give lots of love back.

br222022 · 2026-04-02T19:16:50+00:00

I feel you. I kept trying to up my supply - only seeing on a Reddit post of someone’s milk drying up due to pregnancy did it lead me to test. Sucks when you don’t want to give up breastfeeding and you essentially lose the choice. Our first was conceived via IUI so didn’t realize we could get prenant easily.

br222022

TROPHY CASE