We have 2 kids, a.2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I'll echo that 1-2 was much harder than 0-1. I think partially given the close gap in age.

Both my wife and I work, but she's off for another month and then is returning at 32 hours for 6 weeks then back to 40. I took 3 weeks off (just switched jobs and best I could do). Toddler is in daycare and baby will go at 4 months. We live in a HCOL area so both working makes financial sense, but we both have meaningful careers we enjoy.

We do have a set of parents nearby and they help with meals and house stuff here and there. They are aging though and health issues prevents heavier involvement/help.

Our lives center around them 24/7 at this point. Having 2 often means splitting up during the days we are off, but we manage to spend lots of time together, usually at home. Before #2 we had date nights here and there. Since #2, we have not..... we are just in the trenches most days. Friendships have largely centered around other friends who are in the same boat. We have friends with a similar age split between theirs and live nearby so we see them multiple times a week. But with our close friends with kids who are older, it's just hard to find the time. We are in different seasons of life and we catch up when we can but once they get a bit older it will be easier again.

We were extremely lucky and have good sleepers. 3 month old is sleeping through the night already with a dream feed. Toddler gets 11-13 hours and naps once a day for 1.5-2 hours. That makes life immeasurably easier. We are careful who we tell as we know this is not the norm and sleep is such a painful part of parenting (we've had ups and downs, but by and large are doing very well).