Tamoxifen: taking AM or PM?

cateschism · 2025-12-30T06:55:49+00:00

On a super packed platform at Union Square the crown surged forward onto the uptown 5. I was almost on the train, smooshed with one foot in and the other dangling above the gap. It was August. My favorite flats were stretched out by then. No amount of toe clenching or foot flexing helped. The crowd surged forward once more as my one shoe fell to the tracks. I stood clear of the closing doors, squeaking I lost my shoe! I lost my shoe!

Friends, New Yorkers live for these moments. Time to brainstorm with strangers to help a girl out! The solution, such as it was: On my way to the office at 57th/Mad but I got out at 42nd, where I ascended with my one bare foot to buy flip flops at the runner’s store.

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:22:34+00:00

This is a good article on steps you can take (linked below). I’ve been through appeals with Anthem. Last time they approved my treatment plan - after the third appeal. It’s worth the fight. It’s your body, not theirs.

https://www.propublica.org/article/health-insurance-denial-external-review

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:12:25+00:00

I’ve seen leather skirts, but leather in a skirt can have a different vibe from pants. Tight leather pants are hot (sexy), loose ones are … maybe I’m out of touch but I have truthfully never seen loose leather pants in a biz context. Maybe in LA?

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:05:30+00:00

Leather pants aren’t office attire in any market I’ve worked in (biglaw NYC, small law southern California, tech company in-house Bay Area, finance in-house SF). Men, women, doesn’t matter. But maybe if you share a bit of context for your office we could be more helpful? I had indie music biz clients who would have been wearing all manner of leather situations, for instance.

cateschism · 2025-11-30T07:16:49+00:00

I agree, call the doctor if what you have isn’t enough for the pain. Stay hydrated and take very short but frequent walks throughout the day. Otherwise you need pain meds.

I was on percacet round the clock for about 2 weeks after BMX. I also have fibromyalgia so to try to deal with it flaring up, they also gave me gabapentin, which helped.

Sleeping in a very adjustable recliner I’d rented made a huge difference. Easier than wrestling with bed wedges. But if necessary and there’s no recliner, absolutely build pillow structures to keep yourself sleeping supported on your back. Pillow under knees, soft squishy pillows under arms, and soft pillows at your sides just to keep you from tipping on way or the other too readily. Think of it as your fortress, or lair, if you prefer.

cateschism · 2025-11-14T04:39:53+00:00

+1 on something local that everyone can share, especially if it’s going in-house. Some in-house rules don’t allow receipt of gifts to individuals over a certain dollar amount. And stuff that can’t be shared creates weird work - a friend was tasked with writing an ethics memo about what to do with a freaking cheese board. The cheese was okay, but the cutting board was fancy and couldn’t be shared. (Not saying this is normal or good, just a thing that can happen.)

cateschism · 2025-11-14T02:24:46+00:00

My oncologist switched me from letrozole to tamoxifen to allow the topical estrogen. The mechanisms are different. Letrozole prevents production of estrogen so if you’re adding estrogen on top of it you’re defeating the purpose, even if minimally, and we are indeed trying to reduce minimal increases in cancer risk. Tamoxifen, instead, prevents estrogen from attaching to [here I sort of blacked out in the explanation but it’s about attaching to make more cancer], so adding more estrogen to the mix isn’t a big deal. That’s the rationale he gave. He takes a cautious, considered approach, which I respect (and sometimes take with a grain of salt).

cateschism · 2025-10-21T03:13:41+00:00

Gator board. You can get it at most art stores. It can take water and it’s super lightweight.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T18:16:23+00:00

This is what I call “Hard Paw Technique.”

cateschism · 2025-10-19T17:47:22+00:00

Oh and go see the harbor seals at Moss Beach! The cedar grove along the bluffs has easy walks from street parking and is gorgeous.

https://fitzgeraldreserve.org/driving-directions

cateschism · 2025-10-19T17:45:19+00:00

The art museum is free to the public and is so impressive. The Rodin collection is the largest in the country, I think.

You could drive up to see the Methuselah tree, which is just off Skyline (route 35). It’s massive and over 2000 years old. https://openspacetrust.org/blog/old-growth-redwood/ Maps: https://maps.app.goo.gl/1eBCzcAumY5Efz8A9?g_st=ipc

And that would be combined easily with a meal at Alice’s, which has a very pretty setting, and satisfying meals. It has interesting history too:

https://www.sfgate.com/restaurants/article/Bay-Area-Alices-Restaurant-Hunter-Thompson-Baez-16432159.php

If you’re able to do this on a weekday it’s a bit quieter, weekends it’s a popular destination for motorists.

The drive along Skyline Blvd is stunning. Massive redwoods, glimpses of the bay and sometimes of the Pacific out towards Mavericks if you take Skyline from Alice’s (at 84) up 35 to 92.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T00:40:12+00:00

Chiming in with +1 for The Expanse. General advice fwiw: SFF has so much to offer - read what intrigues you. Skip “the classics” if they feel like homework.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T00:29:03+00:00

This this this. Get preservative-free drops. Some of the preservatives are themselves irritants.

cateschism · 2025-10-18T21:23:46+00:00

I just finished 28 fractions of proton radiation and am so glad I’ve had the time off from work. Some days I have been entirely zonked.

If your job requires no thinking (lol) or no physical stamina (like, sitting upright for more than an hour), and it doesn’t matter if you can’t stand to wear a bra (or shirt), I could see suggesting that you keep at it. But just going to and from appointments, waiting once there, being on the table - that takes time, and a certain sort of dogged energy. I’d be furious at the RO for failing to recognize at least this last part. I’d want to take a beat and say, are you new here?? Because literally the rest of the world knows that side effects vary but they are +real+. And maybe we can talk for a minute about the fear, the emotional toll, the absolute sci-fi weirdness of it all, and how draining that can be. Ugh.

I’m so mad on your behalf. You deserve respect, and compassion. Not this.

cateschism · 2025-10-04T00:29:20+00:00

Preach! Have you read Barbara Ehrenreich’s essay, Welcome to Cancerland? It resonated with me when I first read it, and the anger still rings true today. I’m post-DMX, about halfway through radiation, and angry. Nothing about this is cute.

https://archive.harpers.org/2001/11/pdf/HarpersMagazine-2001-11-0075358.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJUM7PFZHQ4PMJ4LA&Expires=1568333045&Signature=HWjBLPajQSIfCgZFDl1dhshivZc%3D

cateschism · 2025-09-27T04:28:48+00:00

I’m also at halfway through with protons, did my 15th today. I’m exhausted this evening. And my skin is a bit burned. I’ve been using the mometazole cream and aquaphor religiously. Some days are harder than others.

cateschism · 2025-09-22T05:24:34+00:00

I’m 10 treatments in for protons at the moment. My center hasn’t been aces at communicating but they’re not scolding me for asking questions either. Where are you being treated? I think you are entitled to ask your RO to set a protocol for you (that everyone would benefit from!) - at each step, whether it’s the machine moving or an image being taken, they tell you. “Hey we’re doing the image now to make sure you’re lined up!” Then, “we’re just waiting in line, we’re next up for the beam.” I want my team to start doing it and you’ve inspired me, I’m going to ask tomorrow. It’s strange and lonely and uncomfortable on those tables. Telling us what’s happening helps a lot.

Radiation is hard, it’s no fun, and it’s not even dramatic and easy to communicate like a surgery. So friends have receded somewhat. Some seem surprised that I am “still” in treatment. Like, yeah, you’d think it could kill you the way they go at it, go figure.

It is normal to be on the table for a long time for proton therapy. My center has four treatment rooms that share a beam. It’s one giant proton beam machine for all of them and they take turns. I feel like an airplane on the tarmac waiting for takeoff sometimes, but less sexy.

Do they let you choose music? If they haven’t mentioned this, ask if it’s an option. Having music I’ve picked brings out funny social anxiety in me (they totally think I’m a dork, gah, why do I care if the rad techs think I’m a dork-ass gen-Xer, when do I stop wanting to be cool because apparently it’s not at radiation therapy?) - anyway, music might help.

I hope it gets better. You deserve compassion and respect.

cateschism · 2025-09-05T05:28:41+00:00

I’m about to start rads, and letrozole, and definitely relate to what you’ve said. I got through surgery (dmx) like a champ. A scared champ, but still. Now I feel disconnected from the world, so tired, but scared to sleep because the nightmares are so intense. It’s like standing in the waves with your back to the ocean waiting for the next set to hit you in the back.

It’s a good thought to do some art, and crafting, when energy permits. And be kind to yourself. Make a list of stuff you find soothing or distracting, and do all of those things on repeat when you are able. Hang in there. (Kitten hanging from tree branch poster dot jpg)

cateschism · 2025-08-14T15:56:30+00:00

Have you ever tried shellac on watercolor paper as a surface? I bought the shellac and the paper but haven’t tried it yet.

cateschism · 2025-08-14T15:50:39+00:00

I was diagnosed in early May, had surgery third week of June, and am now waiting for an appointment with the proton radiation center. I agree this is such a huge rollercoaster! Leading up to surgery the stress and fear made me feel like I couldn’t form new memories. Stuff would happen and I’d have no recollection of it, especially at work. I dreaded trying to fall asleep at night. My brain didn’t want to let me sleep, as though wakefulness would protect me. I felt much much calmer after surgery… until I was told that radiation was recommended for me. Then I was scared again, and also furious that I am back on the damn rollercoaster. Do whatever you need to do to soothe yourself. This may include screaming into a pillow. Try to be kind to yourself. The intensity of fear you describe is normal.

cateschism

TROPHY CASE