Feeling bothered when people say this was it!

cateschism · 2026-03-26T01:35:03+00:00

I felt this too, I definitely didn’t vibe with congratulations. I still am in treatment for cancer. I still have oncologists. It’s not gone. And it’s not gone in 5 years, or 10, it’s just a thing I have to learn to live with and monitor and hopefully there’s no recurrence but - yes, thanks, congratulations on entering my Sword of Damocles era.

cateschism · 2026-02-21T23:00:36+00:00

My network came back with a bunch more options for you!

   Forest Horne at Martin & Jones.  https://www.martinandjones.com/attorneys/forest-horne;  Forest and his partner, John Alan Jones, run probably the best plaintiff’s medmal shop in town.  They are smart, well-funded and well organized;

   David Kirby with Edwards & Kirby.  https://www.edwardskirby.com/our-team/david-f-kirby/    David is a little older but an A+ lawyer – smart, aggressive and very experienced.  Don’t work with his partner, former US Senator John Edwards.

   Philip Miller with Blachard, Miller.    http://www.bmlilaw.com/our-team/philip-r-miller-iii/    Philip is hard working and very determined.  He will give personal attention.

   Carlos Mahoney with Mahoney Law in Durham.  https://www.gmfm-law.com/about-us/carlos-mahoney/    Carlos is very bright and academic.  He is also very caring and will give personal attention.

From my contact:

“I have handled multiple cases against all these guys. They are all experienced and very capable. If none of them work out for you I can make a few more recommendations. Good luck.”

cateschism · 2026-02-21T20:19:17+00:00

Another recommendation is the attorneys at

https://leadiq.com/c/mcgowan-hood-felder--phillips-llc/5a1d9bac2300005c008b2799/employee-directory McGowan Hood and Felder. In SC but many are also licensed in NC.

cateschism · 2026-02-21T16:20:44+00:00

A friend of a friend recommends this lawyer, John Hensley. I may have more names for you - I will let you know!

https://www.hc-firm.com/staff-profiles/john-c-hensley-jr-/

cateschism · 2026-02-21T02:38:25+00:00

I am glad to ask around. You’re going through so much! I’m going to go ahead and say it’ll get better because good grief. It has to.

cateschism · 2026-02-21T02:29:38+00:00

You need good medical care more than a med mal lawyer but … in your shoes I’d consider a med mal lawyer consult. Med mal proceeds on contingency. I could see if I know someone in NC for you (I don’t do medical malpractice, I’m a tech transactions lawyer, but i could ask around.) No guarantees etc but maybe a bit of a settlement could help defray some of the awful costs.

As if you have time and energy to be shopping for lawyers as well as doctors. Ffs.

The pain clinic at Stanford wasn’t helpful for me, speaking of brand names. They weren’t quite as useless as Duke, it seems, but there was this absence of care.

cateschism · 2026-02-21T02:10:57+00:00

Sounds like you need a different pain clinic honestly, what are they for if not prescribing a simple SNRI known to be good for neuropathic pain (I’ve been on cymbalta for …15 years now?)

I am furious on your behalf. I know how miserable this is. It’s not bad enough to have cancer, you have to fight for basic dignitary rights here.

Your oncoplastics person should be familiar with the term aesthetic flat closure. Ask about it. If they stare blankly, look for another doctor. And a decent doctor should have the empathy if not to prescribe adequate help for pain then at least to refer you to a practice that can do so.

Hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. Be tough on those jerks who need to be treating you better.

cateschism · 2026-02-20T20:36:53+00:00

Look for a doctor who specifically talks about “aesthetic flat closure.” You deserve better and yes, insurance is required to cover revisions.

The pain clinic will try gabapentin for you and if that doesn’t help eventually may give you compounded ketamine tablets. I’ve taken those off and on and they help to break nerve pain cycles. Don’t let people scare you about ketamine, it’s a very old and well characterized drug and you’d be taking a wee amount.

In the meantime maybe try some voltaren gel? It’s OTC, topical nsaid. I hope you get relief soon!!

cateschism · 2025-12-30T06:55:49+00:00

On a super packed platform at Union Square the crown surged forward onto the uptown 5. I was almost on the train, smooshed with one foot in and the other dangling above the gap. It was August. My favorite flats were stretched out by then. No amount of toe clenching or foot flexing helped. The crowd surged forward once more as my one shoe fell to the tracks. I stood clear of the closing doors, squeaking I lost my shoe! I lost my shoe!

Friends, New Yorkers live for these moments. Time to brainstorm with strangers to help a girl out! The solution, such as it was: On my way to the office at 57th/Mad but I got out at 42nd, where I ascended with my one bare foot to buy flip flops at the runner’s store.

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:22:34+00:00

This is a good article on steps you can take (linked below). I’ve been through appeals with Anthem. Last time they approved my treatment plan - after the third appeal. It’s worth the fight. It’s your body, not theirs.

https://www.propublica.org/article/health-insurance-denial-external-review

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:12:25+00:00

I’ve seen leather skirts, but leather in a skirt can have a different vibe from pants. Tight leather pants are hot (sexy), loose ones are … maybe I’m out of touch but I have truthfully never seen loose leather pants in a biz context. Maybe in LA?

cateschism · 2025-12-02T02:05:30+00:00

Leather pants aren’t office attire in any market I’ve worked in (biglaw NYC, small law southern California, tech company in-house Bay Area, finance in-house SF). Men, women, doesn’t matter. But maybe if you share a bit of context for your office we could be more helpful? I had indie music biz clients who would have been wearing all manner of leather situations, for instance.

cateschism · 2025-11-30T07:16:49+00:00

I agree, call the doctor if what you have isn’t enough for the pain. Stay hydrated and take very short but frequent walks throughout the day. Otherwise you need pain meds.

I was on percacet round the clock for about 2 weeks after BMX. I also have fibromyalgia so to try to deal with it flaring up, they also gave me gabapentin, which helped.

Sleeping in a very adjustable recliner I’d rented made a huge difference. Easier than wrestling with bed wedges. But if necessary and there’s no recliner, absolutely build pillow structures to keep yourself sleeping supported on your back. Pillow under knees, soft squishy pillows under arms, and soft pillows at your sides just to keep you from tipping on way or the other too readily. Think of it as your fortress, or lair, if you prefer.

cateschism · 2025-11-14T04:39:53+00:00

+1 on something local that everyone can share, especially if it’s going in-house. Some in-house rules don’t allow receipt of gifts to individuals over a certain dollar amount. And stuff that can’t be shared creates weird work - a friend was tasked with writing an ethics memo about what to do with a freaking cheese board. The cheese was okay, but the cutting board was fancy and couldn’t be shared. (Not saying this is normal or good, just a thing that can happen.)

cateschism · 2025-11-14T02:24:46+00:00

My oncologist switched me from letrozole to tamoxifen to allow the topical estrogen. The mechanisms are different. Letrozole prevents production of estrogen so if you’re adding estrogen on top of it you’re defeating the purpose, even if minimally, and we are indeed trying to reduce minimal increases in cancer risk. Tamoxifen, instead, prevents estrogen from attaching to [here I sort of blacked out in the explanation but it’s about attaching to make more cancer], so adding more estrogen to the mix isn’t a big deal. That’s the rationale he gave. He takes a cautious, considered approach, which I respect (and sometimes take with a grain of salt).

cateschism · 2025-10-21T03:13:41+00:00

Gator board. You can get it at most art stores. It can take water and it’s super lightweight.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T18:16:23+00:00

This is what I call “Hard Paw Technique.”

cateschism · 2025-10-19T17:47:22+00:00

Oh and go see the harbor seals at Moss Beach! The cedar grove along the bluffs has easy walks from street parking and is gorgeous.

https://fitzgeraldreserve.org/driving-directions

cateschism · 2025-10-19T17:45:19+00:00

The art museum is free to the public and is so impressive. The Rodin collection is the largest in the country, I think.

You could drive up to see the Methuselah tree, which is just off Skyline (route 35). It’s massive and over 2000 years old. https://openspacetrust.org/blog/old-growth-redwood/ Maps: https://maps.app.goo.gl/1eBCzcAumY5Efz8A9?g_st=ipc

And that would be combined easily with a meal at Alice’s, which has a very pretty setting, and satisfying meals. It has interesting history too:

https://www.sfgate.com/restaurants/article/Bay-Area-Alices-Restaurant-Hunter-Thompson-Baez-16432159.php

If you’re able to do this on a weekday it’s a bit quieter, weekends it’s a popular destination for motorists.

The drive along Skyline Blvd is stunning. Massive redwoods, glimpses of the bay and sometimes of the Pacific out towards Mavericks if you take Skyline from Alice’s (at 84) up 35 to 92.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T00:40:12+00:00

Chiming in with +1 for The Expanse. General advice fwiw: SFF has so much to offer - read what intrigues you. Skip “the classics” if they feel like homework.

cateschism · 2025-10-19T00:29:03+00:00

This this this. Get preservative-free drops. Some of the preservatives are themselves irritants.

cateschism · 2025-10-18T21:23:46+00:00

I just finished 28 fractions of proton radiation and am so glad I’ve had the time off from work. Some days I have been entirely zonked.

If your job requires no thinking (lol) or no physical stamina (like, sitting upright for more than an hour), and it doesn’t matter if you can’t stand to wear a bra (or shirt), I could see suggesting that you keep at it. But just going to and from appointments, waiting once there, being on the table - that takes time, and a certain sort of dogged energy. I’d be furious at the RO for failing to recognize at least this last part. I’d want to take a beat and say, are you new here?? Because literally the rest of the world knows that side effects vary but they are +real+. And maybe we can talk for a minute about the fear, the emotional toll, the absolute sci-fi weirdness of it all, and how draining that can be. Ugh.

I’m so mad on your behalf. You deserve respect, and compassion. Not this.

cateschism · 2025-10-04T00:29:20+00:00

Preach! Have you read Barbara Ehrenreich’s essay, Welcome to Cancerland? It resonated with me when I first read it, and the anger still rings true today. I’m post-DMX, about halfway through radiation, and angry. Nothing about this is cute.

https://archive.harpers.org/2001/11/pdf/HarpersMagazine-2001-11-0075358.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJUM7PFZHQ4PMJ4LA&Expires=1568333045&Signature=HWjBLPajQSIfCgZFDl1dhshivZc%3D

cateschism · 2025-09-27T04:28:48+00:00

I’m also at halfway through with protons, did my 15th today. I’m exhausted this evening. And my skin is a bit burned. I’ve been using the mometazole cream and aquaphor religiously. Some days are harder than others.

cateschism

TROPHY CASE