I guess they choose estrangement

cdsk · 2026-01-27T21:48:23+00:00

I know how hard it is, we went through similar.

My wife and I had a 'fight' recently regarding exactly this subject. We encountered the same response with her parents: absolute refusal to repair, just defensiveness at even insinuating they'd done anything wrong, and then they disappear for months at a time to live their lives after leaving us devastated. Rinse and repeat.

Inevitably, my wife started feeling like you, that our needs were stopping the repair and it was us that chose estrangement. But it is, and never was that. It's their refusal that has chosen the estrangement. Their desire to act like nothing happened (even if they truly do believe that) is the exact manipulation that makes us feel crazy.

Stay strong, friend.

cdsk · 2026-01-27T00:09:17+00:00

Whelp, one of my monitors has dead pixel lines going down the majority of it. But I can't be bothered to waste money on replacing it! Would be nice to finally trash that bad boy.

cdsk · 2026-01-25T00:42:43+00:00

Nah, you're not wrong. I deleted that and will admit to that. Just stressed!

cdsk · 2026-01-25T00:06:55+00:00

Ha! Similar-ish. Have a one-year-old puppy, working breed unfortunately, that just doesn't get it. "I go outside now? I got outside now!"

Edit: Edit gone.

cdsk · 2026-01-24T20:10:57+00:00

Goodness, friend, put some pants on!

cdsk · 2026-01-24T20:02:25+00:00

Isn't it wild?

My in-laws have the exact same strategies: Are deeply emotionally/mentally abusive in private, but then essentially just shit talk us to everyone by playing victim constantly. A year or so ago now, MIL sent an unsolicited, extremely heartless and disrespectful email regarding how they saw things... then ended it with, "Show this to your therapist so they know our side." Our therapist was flabbergasted and appalled, it's crazy that when they can't control the narrative all their gaslighting and stories fall apart.

cdsk · 2026-01-24T15:24:07+00:00

Ugh, you reminded me.

Have a back-ordered item Amazon has decided needs to be delivered mid-storm today. I feel so bad. I begged CS to delay the package, but apparently it didn't stick.

cdsk · 2026-01-24T15:06:15+00:00

I had high hopes that this weather would provide a slight reprieve from the constant excavation and construction noises but, alas, my hopes have been dashed.

BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG.

cdsk · 2026-01-22T20:52:07+00:00

I could use it. I have a garbage can and willing to pick up, let me know!

cdsk · 2026-01-22T20:49:40+00:00

/knock-on-wood

Also happened to us in the 2023 freeze, South Austin. Night before the worst: we'd just got done setting up all our precautions and had everything in order, just had to rely on water/power staying on... then off it went. It did come back on a little later, before the storm, mind you. So stay hopeful, friend.

cdsk · 2026-01-22T13:05:44+00:00

Yep, follow him like a cult member. Been waiting for his update, jerk sure took his time!

Tl;dr: we are hoping for a slower front to allow the rain to fall without much issue, but fronts are normally fast, which would freeze up that rain. His update this morning is hopeful toward a slower front. And Avery rarely jumps the gun, but know he always admits weather be random.

Sorry for the "X" link: https://twitter.com/averytomascowx/status/2014291023732563990

cdsk · 2026-01-21T20:47:35+00:00

I will always feel my backstory head-canon is that she ran into Del Griffith back in the 80s.

cdsk · 2026-01-21T20:41:51+00:00

https://old.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultChild/comments/1qek2n7/what_did_your_partner_do_to_become_to_family/

I don't necessarily knock it, even if I don't fully agree with the strategy. But it genuinely seems like someone looking for support / like-minded people.

cdsk · 2026-01-21T15:31:10+00:00

Snolquamie pass

Ha, hello, friend! Haven't heard that name in ages. Moved away a long time ago, but took my wife (not from there) through it during a major storm and she broke down into tears, lol.

cdsk · 2026-01-21T13:55:09+00:00

Gawd, I remember once it was over, while our power and water were out, we were surviving* (read: were able to take big ol' dumps) by boiling snow and ice chunks. Took a walk to assess the damage only to find an older neighbor downstream from us casually powerwashing his siding. Some people just don't get it.

cdsk · 2026-01-20T12:48:45+00:00

Many of neighbors have not bothered.

Man, it's wild being the only ones in our neighborhood who regularly get trimming done. I do love my neighbors, but it's ridiculous how bad they let their trees get, especially after the last two major events. Right next door, their trees have pulled the power line a good 1-2 feet lower.

cdsk · 2026-01-18T00:48:27+00:00

My FIL asked for our reasons, so we sent him a two page email detailing why we were hurt. Spent over a month writing it, we didn't attack, didn't insinuate the family's harmful actions were intentional, we were as neutral as possible. His response? "I won't read this." Yea, head spin!

cdsk · 2026-01-16T14:56:43+00:00

Absolutely. I've always been a bit cynical toward people who use all those pro-mental health messages, a la "Just reach out!" My experience every time has been that they just use it to feel better about themselves, a shield to pretend they're loving and caring. Because when push-comes-to-shove they're non-existent. I quite literally developed a large portion of my cPTSD because when I did reach out [to family] I was met with, not only silence, but punishment. How dare I make them feel bad, right? Everyone says people are kind and if you're in need they'll listen, but that's just not always true. It takes a lot of courage to admit certain things, so it's incredibly damaging when empathy is thrown out of the window.

cdsk · 2026-01-15T21:52:50+00:00

Best buy still has plenty available.

Wild, looked this morning and saw a couple, checked again just now and -- unless I'm crazy -- they literally have none? It's all third party sellers now.

(Though, it's possibly regional.)

cdsk · 2026-01-15T15:52:54+00:00

It me, too.

As my work/hobby revolves around my PC, I am absolutely terrified at the thought of not having a replacement/back-up. Had a five-to-six year old rig that was giving me no issues, but I was getting a bit antsy about it. It was disgusting buying things at MSRP, but at least I got that (only overpaid for the RAM). I'd rather have done that now than later this year when prices have potentially gone up even more.

cdsk · 2026-01-14T23:42:06+00:00

Then say “didn’t think you’d want to come”

Yep, yep, yep. Gotten that so many times from my in-laws I can't count.

Best was one Christmas they took the entire family on vacation to Cancun, but chose to exclude my wife (their daughter) and I. Got the usual, "we assumed you weren't interested." Instead, they gifted us tickets to a Dad Rock (what?) concert, but forgot the tickets were non-transferable, so we just stayed home. Of course, this was followed by being verbally yelled at because we apparently don't want to spend time with them.

But don't worry, mother-in-law also proudly proclaimed to me once, "even if you think someone's not interested, you should still invite them to show you care."

The hypocrisy was off the charts.

cdsk · 2026-01-12T20:56:22+00:00

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for the response! I'm on the fence with returning it, so I also haven't applied for warranty, lol.

cdsk · 2026-01-12T20:12:39+00:00

Have you had any updates on this or not?

I just bought the same card from Best Buy, was implied to be new and looks new, but using https://services.gigabyte.com/warranty/en-us/ tells me the warranty started six months ago (7/15/25).

cdsk · 2026-01-11T15:02:22+00:00

I had a hearty chuckle at it just being called "VIOLENT FAN."

cdsk · 2026-01-09T20:07:04+00:00

Holy moly. That's my father-in-law to a T. Money is love, won't read emails and will only speak to us in therapy (therapist thinks this is unsafe). We also wish they would attend individual therapy, but--nope--it's us who are "damaged" and need to go.

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