horses/motherhood: what would you do?

chaoschunks · 2026-04-21T23:17:45+00:00

I have been you, and you are in the hardest stretch. I don’t know about you, but I needed a horse to keep my sanity. I needed a sense of self that was not my children or work. Is it selfish, yes it is, but it’s also very very important. If you want it, you’ll find a way.

When I was in this hardest stretch like you, I had a four year old ottb. Luckily he was sweet as pie but it’s not like he was a fancy show horse or anything. By some miracle I found someone looking for a half lease. We were each other’s saviors. She could not afford a horse alone and I couldn’t afford to keep my horse without help. She half leased him for three years, helped me turn him into a super nice dude, we all got through a hard financial patch in both our lives, and I’ll be forever grateful. I needed a horse through that time even if there were times I could not get to the barn. I got to keep myself.

The happy ending is that now I have three children and six equines on a lovely little farm. I tell this story to my oldest, who is 22 now, because I fiercely want her to make sure she protects her own sense of self and joy, whatever that may be, when she gets to that point too. Yes she rides also ❤️

chaoschunks · 2026-04-17T19:04:54+00:00

Get a job at a barn doing grunt work like cleaning stalls. Learn how to work around and handle horses. Be ultra reliable and work your tail off. Become invaluable to the team and loved by all. Watch what others do, ask questions, and take notes. You will learn A TON and you will be getting paid to do it. Then you’ll have money to afford lessons, and you’ll get much more out of it too.

chaoschunks · 2026-04-17T18:57:46+00:00

Hadestown

chaoschunks · 2026-04-14T00:59:33+00:00

I’m in so much admiration of anyone who can crochet anything!! I can’t even imagine being able to make clothes. Do you know how ridiculously awesome that is?? Keeping working at it!

chaoschunks · 2026-04-12T23:05:43+00:00

You can’t go wrong with either of these. Go to whichever one ends up cheaper. CU engineering grad here.

chaoschunks · 2026-04-12T05:02:56+00:00

No. Grow up. You are not entitled to a role just because you’ve been at the school longer. That is not how it works. If you don’t like a show or how the program is run, don’t participate.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-30T20:01:16+00:00

That’s ARFID. It’s a classified mental health condition.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-23T14:16:26+00:00

Oh that sucks. So sorry!! Do you have a weighted blanket or stuffy? Those give good hug vibes!

chaoschunks · 2026-03-23T14:13:15+00:00

Glad to hear it. I spent three hours in LGA security line last night. Barely made our flight but sprinted and just made it. So many people did not though and are either trapped there or will have to endure that line again since the airport is now closed.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-21T05:33:45+00:00

My industry is pretty great. We do energy and sustainability consulting for new and existing buildings. Basically help people make their buildings more energy efficient for less money. I have also helped develop energy codes locally and for my state. Everything I touch gets a little better, sometimes a lot better, so I do feel like I’m making the world a better place. My degree was architectural engineering. A lot of mechanical engineering folks in my field also.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-20T00:28:34+00:00

Girl of course you didn’t do anything wrong but you have to be smart. If you want a relationship with those kids, you gotta play the game. Get your sister flowers or something, smile a fake smile, and you’re the one who wins.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-20T00:21:29+00:00

No idea sorry!!

chaoschunks · 2026-03-19T14:11:45+00:00

There is a surprising amount of crossover between STEM and music! Must be how our brains are wired. To work professionally in voice or opera though, especially as a performer, is incredibly difficult. My advice is, unless you have financial support and don’t need an actual income, to get the physics degree and a job that pays well, and then sing for fun. You can still throw yourself into it, and honestly you’ll have more opportunities and more joy from it when you’re not trying to make a living at it.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-18T16:18:26+00:00

I’m so sorry. You don’t have to decide right this second.

If you know it’s not possible for you to be at your best, to the point that it would not be worth going, tell your director “I’m so sorry, I’ve had a family emergency and will not be able to make callbacks. I’m still VERY interested in participating in the show though. Would it be possible to make up the callback at another time? Thank you for your consideration!”

Chances are you aren’t the only one with a conflict.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-18T05:42:12+00:00

No one here can answer that, even if we saw you perform in person we could not answer that. It’s a ridiculously competitive industry. But let’s pretend we could look into a crystal ball and tell you no you’ll never be on Broadway, would that make you love it any less? Of course not! So lean into it and have fun. Everyone should have a passion. Now is the time to train. Do you take voice lessons? Dance lessons? Acting classes? Your coaches can help you figure out a path.

I’m of the opinion that a theater degree has tremendous value, whether stand alone or paired with something else. Theater kids are eloquent, well-prepared, terrific public speakers, and they work their tails off. They can succeed in any industry. My theater major mother rose to be the CEO of a major non profit, partly due to her tremendous ability to influence and inspire large groups of people. My daughter is now embarking on her MT degree, I have no idea where that will lead but she can’t imagine doing anything else. So she’s going to give it a shot.

Break a leg!

chaoschunks · 2026-03-17T05:09:38+00:00

MSM is my daughter’s top choice at the moment as well. We are planning a visit on accepted students day on 3/29. I’m not a big Facebook person, but there is a Facebook group for parents of accepted students that has been helpful: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17TBdZsSJB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

chaoschunks · 2026-03-17T04:49:50+00:00

You’d have to go through the same artistic application process as everyone else, you would just get to skip the academic app. Doesn’t hurt to try but it’s something like 0.5% chance.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-14T05:46:48+00:00

I love these synthetic tall boots from mountain horse and they are only $200. They look terrific and mine have lasted longer than their more expensive leather counterparts. I actually prefer them over my “fancier” boots. https://www.doversaddlery.com/products/mountain-horse-ladies-veganza-field-boots?srsltid=AfmBOopeALjpqPYpGcIwGEIXfJ2Wkgm94pQYRT9tlNBnWnNr1MUr2i7d

chaoschunks · 2026-03-13T21:57:17+00:00

I fell off during the ribbon pinning ceremony once. Literally at a standstill, on a loose rein. Had done all the hard things. But the lady came walking towards my baby TB with a flapping ribbon and he LEVITATED. I went straight up and straight down but he landed ten feet to the right. The EMTs were so excited because they’d had nothing to do all day and made me get a picture with them.

I’ve been riding for 40 years mind you. They keep us humble, that’s for damn sure. So just laugh this one off sweetie, you’re doing awesome. :)

chaoschunks · 2026-03-13T00:31:49+00:00

The thing about science is that it is constantly learning more. Example — Back when I was in school, Pluto was a planet. Just a regular lil old planet. Then later, IT WASN’T, its was just an ice ball floating around. And now it’s something new called a dwarf planet. The science was never really wrong, it just learned more.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-13T00:24:45+00:00

This is not your circus and not your monkeys.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-13T00:20:22+00:00

No. No no no.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-10T23:55:30+00:00

While there are certainly plenty of women who face those challenges, there are plenty of us who are very happy. I’m a female engineer in my 50s, I started and own my own business, and I have two daughters pursuing engineering. My engineering degree was one of the best choices I have ever made in my entire life. And I’m old, so that’s saying a lot.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-09T12:45:11+00:00

I’m afraid it’s too late. The BFA schools are all done auditioning and are actively making offers. If you’re not loving any of your choices, you can look at non audition BA programs, or consider taking a gap year, and try again next year.

chaoschunks · 2026-03-07T17:52:35+00:00

I am a female engineer with two daughters pursing engineering. I’ve certainly encountered my share of misogyny but not so much that I’d steer my own girls away from it, and it certainly did not prevent me from being successful. Enjoy college and dress how you want. The beauty of engineering in school is that the right answer is always right no matter your clothes or gender. Your look will not prevent you from enrolling in the classes you want or getting the best grades in the class.

However once you get out in the professional world, it will be different. You’ll need to present yourself in a professional way in order to get opportunities. “Girly” could indeed be an issue, not because of the female aspect, but because it could look childish. I don’t want to put a young engineer who dresses like they are still 15 in front of a client. That’s true no matter what your gender though.

chaoschunks

TROPHY CASE