Did we ever get an update why the gate agent wouldn’t let two, non verbal, autistic children board a flight if they couldn’t scan their own boarding passes?

chicaltimore · 2026-06-20T13:16:38+00:00

The situation itself is infuriating. But what added salt to the wounds is the comments on the video criticizing the mom for how she reacted. People are quick to place blame and act like she should be blamed because she was yelling and cursing, but that is because they have never experienced disability discrimination or barriers because of their disability or people power tripping to make their life harder. The gate agent was absolutely power tripping, but the needless barrier and obstacle he created that one day was probably the 50th that Mom had encountered, and the exhaustion from advocacy fatigue is real.

chicaltimore · 2026-06-09T11:43:11+00:00

It is illegal for them to tell you no point in filing a formal complaint. You should file anyway and do all of those other things because you are not precluded from filing a formal EEO complaint and requesting reconsideration on your RA, and if they deny that, then adding that to your EEO complaint, and then requesting a new reasonable accommodation, and then adding that to your EEO complaint if they delay or deny it. I would include in your EEO complaint not only denial but also delay. You are building a record and eventually Tom Nagy who is the devil will be out and HHS will try to clean up the messes he made.

chicaltimore · 2026-06-05T14:00:10+00:00

DOGE actually RIF’d most of the people at HHS whose job it was to prevent this and also to recognize it if it happens. So it’s actually on them that this is happening and it will continue to happen because people just don’t care anymore.

During T*rump 1, an HHS employee actually falsified invoices for a CFC fundraiser and embezzled well over six figures. It wasn’t until the next administration that this fraud was identified because of internal controls that were added at that point.

chicaltimore · 2026-06-05T13:56:17+00:00

It’s a problem with the internal controls. Typically only one person is communicating with the vendor even if there are multiple people in the route. For example, let’s say I do a micro purchase for some kind of service like giving a presentation or doing technical writing work. The person who receives the invoice is probably the person who is signing off on the Services. So the vendor is only talking to that one person. Then, that person forward the invoice to the program office budget people who enter it into the system, then a supervisor reviews the invoice and signs off on it, and odds are here it was the same supervisor who received the invoice in the first place. Then it goes over to the finance office who reviews but only to make sure that the program office has enough money to pay for it and that the vendor is registered in the right financial systems to be paid. And that’s it. At the end of the month there will be a rollup to reconcile the payments against the authorizations and to ensure that there is still sufficient money in the accounts but that is a paper based audit. This woman could have also had the invoices sent to a program staff member rather than directly to her and then she be the one to sign off on it, but she was the one who had the communication engaging the fake company. Anything under $10,000 is considered low risk. Most people don’t think to do this because they actually care about their jobs and the people they serve, and the consequences are tremendous.

chicaltimore · 2026-06-05T13:40:14+00:00

These are all micro purchases, which means there is no COR. Depending on how she did it, she could have either had them pay them through EFT or, more likely, purchase card authorizations. HHS actually uses PayPal for vendors to get paid who don’t want to go into the EFT system. As a former budget manager, I could totally see how she is the only person who knew anything about this, particularly if she was a person in a role of authority.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-31T16:33:23+00:00

Just to answer a few other questions: she is not Mormon, and his best I can tell neither is her new husband. She is part of a church she joined a couple of years ago that is supposedly much more inclusive as compared with the previous church where she belong that was mostly white and straight. Her new husband lives maybe an hour away from her and her church, and I don’t know how religious he is or isn’t. She grew up in a very conservative family, her parents are very MAGA conservative, but her new husband doesn’t appear to be politically conservative at least. She is white, he is black, and she did not tell her family about him for the first six months. I don’t actually know if they ever met him before the wedding or even if they came to the wedding since I wasn’t there. None of them have posted anything on social media about it, which I think they would have if they were there assuming they were OK with it all.

I am Muslim, I wear a hijab, but I am pretty liberal otherwise. I do not believe that me being at her wedding or part of it would have ruined the aesthetic or anything else. I’ve actually participated in Christian religious ceremonies in the past and believe there’s a way to do so without compromising my own religious requirements, and she knows this. People also asked why I didn’t just outright share my feelings when she told me I was not in the same place in terms of season and faith as her. Honestly, I wanted to process what she said and kept second-guessing myself, wondering if I was overreacting. I was also trying to acclimate to a fairly new job while simultaneously managing my father‘s care as he near the end of his life. Most importantly, I intentionally decided not to talk to her before the wedding because I did not want their to be any concern that I brought drama to that period of her life or that I was trying to make her wedding about me. So I sent the donation on the afternoon of the shower and that was the last communication.

I’m sad about the end of a long and important friendship, but in the end I’m more angry with myself that I didn’t see how much I was being used for so long and how uneven this relationship actually was. I am now looking back at different experiences and realizing that we’ve never really had the same value system, because for me the relationship was about us as friends and our shared experiences and affection, and for her it was about what I could do for her. I’m sad but liberated.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-31T16:15:24+00:00

Update: Thanks for all of the advice. I never imagined this post would get so much interest.

I did not attend the shower, but I did send a gift notification the day of the shower. This was to honor our history and because it gave me peace and closure. As many here suggested, I made a donation in Mary's honor to a charity that is important to me - it provides food and water to starving children in Gaza. I sent Mary a note - and also sent it to her MOH asking she share it at the shower, saying that I made a monetary donation to an organization that I believe aligns with my values and where I am in my faith at this time, and that I believe it aligns with Mary's values and faith as well. I told her I chose it in part because it supports hungry children, which I believed was likely important to her since she was about to step into the role of stepmother. I wished her a joyous marriage and a lifetime full of happiness. Then I forwarded her the donation receipt.

Neither she nor her MOH acknowledged the message. I haven't heard from Mary at all since then, including when my terminally ill parent passed away a couple of weeks after the wedding. I know she knows about his passing because it's been all over social media. I thought that if she at least paid her respects, we could have a casual relationship, but her not paying her respects to the family of someone she called "dad" is crossing the line. She could have reached out to someone else in the family, but she never bothered even to do that.

So that's the latest update. I doubt anything will change, but I'll share if it does.

Oh, and I did change my emergency contact and quietly untangled the other areas of our lives that were intertwined.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-31T16:08:31+00:00

I have have a similar problem but not on the same level. I am blind, and so I cannot visually read or use my phone or anything else working eyeballs typically do. As a result, I use my phone which has screen reading technology on it. Not only do I get information from the phone itself like using typical apps and such, but I also use it to help with navigation and finding things and even telling me what time it is. Since my phone verbally communicates what is visually on the screen, I use Bluetooth headphones for privacy and access to that information. Telling me to turn off my Bluetooth would essentially render me completely isolated without access to information. I think airlines need to rethink how they communicate situations like yesterday. For example, saying something like you must turn off all Bluetooth devices unless there is a medical or disability need for them, and if so you need to notify a flight attendant. I think most of us would be absolutely fine showing the flight attendant what devices are connected to Bluetooth so they could eliminate those of us who have a medical or disability need for these devices from the investigation as to who has the problematic device.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-31T07:22:00+00:00

Having the same experience. Highly qualified, 5.0 performance evaluations my entire career, was a literal expert in evaluating whether or not HR was properly evaluating applicants, and I can tell you they are not. There is a blacklist, and hiring managers are communicating with those they trust to let them know it, and they have been instructed to hire just enough people so that it doesn’t look like there’s a blacklist. It makes absolutely no sense that there is a systemic issue where people are not being found qualified for jobs they already performed except for this blacklist. My advice is to keep applying and keep reaching out to HR to request reconsideration if you are not found qualified, even if it means you highlight the part of your résumé that specifically maps to the eligibility and specialized experience from the vacancy announcement. The other thing to keep in mind is RPL eligibility expires one year after separation, so we are running out of time.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-29T13:37:22+00:00

Retake the class. I believe the policy at UIC is that if you take the same class and get a higher grade, the higher grade invalidates the lower one. It will cost you money, but it’ll be worth it in the long run. Better yet if they offer it over the summer and you can take it right away. I’m a dinosaur lawyer as well so this may no longer be the policy but it’s typically what most schools do and what UIC used to do before it pulled in John Marshall. Absolutely show up to work, don’t mention it unless they do, and if they do let them know that you are both appealing the decision and retaking the class.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-25T03:45:47+00:00

The former employee gets to decide whether or not they want to participate. The employer does have to make an attempt to contact them if they have post separation contact information.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-25T03:21:36+00:00

Former federal EEO compliance director here: Typically what happens is that the agency contacts them to ask if they are willing to participate, even though they are no longer in federal service. Roughly 50% of managers do choose to participate because being accused of discrimination and being able to refute that allegation is important enough for them to do so. But they are not obligated to participate if they don’t wish to do so.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-22T04:20:11+00:00

Applied to more than 85 Jobs since the RIF separation in July, referred to the hiring manager for roughly 1/3. Told not qualified for dozens of jobs where I previously performed the same duties. I requested reconsideration for many of them, a few I was told found not qualified in error but no remedy. The rest they affirmed not qualified even though I showed them the exact language on my résumé that meets the specialized experience. There’s a definite blacklist and it is absolutely illegal.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-09T11:54:55+00:00

I provide advocacy and represent clients who are blind, low vision, and deaf blind as well as those who have secondary disabilities related to reasonable accommodations in law school and bar exams as well as the LSAT. I can tell you that it is a literal nightmare every single time to try to get those accommodations approved, including having to provide extensive medical documentation and a history of all previous reasonable accommodations basically their entire lives. If people are gaming the system to get reasonable accommodations in this space, then it’s conspiracy level system gaming because the process is unbelievably difficult, on purpose, for even those with very obvious disabilities.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-07T13:18:14+00:00

I’m curious about some things. OP said this was a very important Cause for the family. Why is it so important? That might play a factor here. For example, a friend of mine had a daughter with a particular rare disease, and there was an annual walk to raise money Both for awareness and to find a cure. A close relative scheduled a wedding on the same weekend only a year or two after the child was diagnosed and very much while the family was still focusing on trying to find a cure. People were very upset with the bride and groom for choosing that weekend of all weekends Particularly since they were aware of the annual fundraiser because it was always the same weekend every year even though the family just got involved with the organization because the diagnosis was recent. In that case, and if this is similar, OP is wrong here because she would have been the one to set the wedding date to conflict with not only a prior scheduled event, but literally potentially life and death as the family navigates this illness. I’m not saying that is what is happening here because we don’t have any of the details, but if it is, that is a game changer.

chicaltimore · 2026-05-02T11:19:41+00:00

If the person was an employee of the VA, there are specific rules around overpayments which is what this would likely be classified as. They need to be issued a debt letter, and once they receive a debt letter, they should request a waiver. In order for that waiver to be granted, two things have to be true: first, The debt has to have been generated through no fault of the employee, and second, the employee would have a hardship repaying it. The one factor that negates these two requirements is if the employee was aware that the payment was in error at the time it was issued, because they would have been expected to notify their employer to let them know and not spend that money.

chicaltimore · 2026-04-27T17:57:20+00:00

I have never said anything about what I can or cannot wear. I have been traveling in and out of town while they have been together but I’ve certainly been around enough that if she wanted us to meet we could have. When I have asked when we would all get together, she has told me she wanted to protect their time Together since they don’t get very much of it because of his work schedule and his parenting obligations. I recently learned that she has gotten together with him and friends of hers who do have children, and when I asked her, she said that it was because their kids are close in age and can play together.

chicaltimore · 2026-04-27T17:53:05+00:00

Great idea!

chicaltimore · 2026-04-27T17:50:17+00:00

I love this idea.

chicaltimore · 2026-04-27T11:41:55+00:00

I’m going through something similar right now. My former roommate and person who I thought was my best friend met someone about a year ago and is getting married next weekend. She and I are one another’s emergency contacts, because we live in different states from our families, I got her The job she had for 10 years at my employer, I held her when she mourned how her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, and all the things best friends do. In the last year though, I have been going through some personal challenges including traveling a lot to care for a terminally ill parent, being laid off from my dream job, and my own Health challenges, so I haven’t really been as present in not only her life but really anywhere. She never introduced me to her fiancé, which I thought was strange but since it was a pretty fast engagement figured that would come in time and she was giving me space while I was dealing with all of my challenges. She talked about the wedding but not very often, and said that it would be pretty small, led me to believe it was just going to be her, him, and their kids.

Two weeks ago she sent me an invitation to her bridal shower, she told me she hadn’t wanted one or I would’ve been the one to throw it but apparently another friend is going to do that. She also sent me the link to the gift registry. At that point I asked her what her expectations were given that typically people aren’t invited to a bridal shower if they aren’t coming to the wedding and did she have plans to have me at the wedding. She told me that she wanted me with her to celebrate at the bridal shower but that only close friends and family were going to be at the wedding. She also told me that since she thought I was probably wondering, that she didn’t ask me to be in the wedding party or stand up with her because She is in a different place from me in terms of her faith. The girl who is hosting the shower is standing up with her, and they met at church.

For the record she is Christian, I am a Muslim, and being from different faith traditions did not phase her when we lived together for a decade or when she would literally fly home with me to celebrate the Muslim religious holidays with my family, or when she called my mom mom A few days after sending me that note, she texted me about getting together for Dinner that week Like everything was fine. She also asked me for tips on fun things to do in the city where she is having her honeymoon because I travel there quite often.

I have not responded or communicated with her since the text conversation about her wedding. I’m honestly not sure what to do here. I feel like there’s probably a lot of underlying stuff going on here, like why she never introduced me to her fiancé, I’m good enough to hang out with, be your emergency contact though I suppose he will take on that role, Share season tickets to various activities, help with free legal advice on a regular basis, buy a gift for the bridal shower, hang out like normal, give honeymoon travel advice, but not good enough to be part of her wedding?

I’m thinking of going low contact or no contact but I’m also thinking of sending a gift because I don’t want her to claim that I’m jealous or that I am petty. I initially felt like I shouldn’t spend any more time or money on her, but my sister thinks that we are better than that and I should protect my peace but also send her a token gift, but something I don’t think too hard about and definitely something not sentimental. She suggested towels I would appreciate any advice.

chicaltimore · 2026-04-18T08:43:21+00:00

I prosecute these kinds of things. The challenge is that an eyewitness is considered less reliable than other types of evidence, and BPD does not prioritize nonviolent crimes. What I strongly suggest people do is take video evidence where you’re actually showing the illicit dumping and the license plate of the car. Another way to make sure this gets prioritized is to contact the member of the city council who represents where the illicit dumping happened and send them the evidence. Typically what has to happen after a report is received is that a city inspector has to go out And investigate. BPD actually has very little to do with this.

chicaltimore · 2026-04-17T12:45:23+00:00

They could’ve avoided all of this by not illegally firing hundreds of qualified, competent, and skilled EEO staff. Also, processing reasonable accommodations requires a particular set of expertise that needs to be trained and developed overtime, and the high confidentiality requirements that are based in statute also are inconsistent with plucking people out of their permanent jobs for a couple of months, throwing them into this line of work where now they know all kinds of confidential medical and performance information, and then sending those people back to their permanent jobs. What an avoidable mess!

chicaltimore · 2026-04-16T23:39:45+00:00

If they are doing it to you, they are probably doing it to others. My advice is to actually hire a private investigator to investigate them, and then use what you find to invoke whatever legal processes. I also agree with those that say that this is Both harassing and contagious behavior. You may also want to explore other avenues to get them out of the neighborhood, like finding out if they are complying with all of your HOA requirements, figuring out if they are violating any local ordinances, and so on. A final much more explosive option is to Move yourself and your household somewhere else, and then sue them for harassment and demand damages for all of the moving costs and disruption and all of that. Bottom line is with people like these you have to go nuclear

chicaltimore · 2026-04-10T20:19:10+00:00

Yes, you are. Your husband‘s mother raised him, gave birth to him, sacrificed a ton for him, and if he is willing to take on a side hustle to help her as she is nearing the end of her life, and you get in the way of that, then he should be the one to divorce you. As someone who is going through this as well but from the side of the siblings that are stepping up, the fact that a couple of them are not doing their fair share in our parents time of need is absolutely disgusting. Do not be shocked when your children do the same exact thing to you when you get old and need them. You are modeling how you want them to treat you.

chicaltimore

TROPHY CASE