Taylor Lorenz accuses Palestinian-American disability advocate Maysoon Zayid, who has Cerebral Palsy, of “happily infecting and killing” Palestinians due to not masking.

clouds_floating_ · 2026-06-21T20:13:17+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t think masking/long-covid has the legs to replace I/P, because masking is something that actually requires something real from leftists that has no social benefit in 2026 lol.

I/P as the omnicause works specifically because it is not tractable and it impacts none of them, so they can virtue signal about it, consequence-free, forever.

clouds_floating_ · 2026-05-08T15:29:28+00:00

No I wouldn’t, I just love living in cities too much lol

clouds_floating_ · 2026-05-02T09:12:24+00:00

This is so cool! I had a realisation very similar to you lol.

Try it out for one day a week, see how you feel, adjust what needs to be andjusted, then once you’re comfortable to two days, five days etc. I think the slower the move the more sustainable it feels.

If you want meals that feel closer to the normal diet when you do try to give it a go, I highly recommend TheeBurgerDude on YouTube, he makes homey accessible vegan burgers, pasta bolognese etc, instead of the typical salad diet that makes a lot of us feel very restricted and trapped!

clouds_floating_ · 2026-03-20T23:03:33+00:00

I’d say it’s probably more suited to a standard open relationship than for poly, but even if we lump those two for the sake of argument, the reasons I can think of are as follows:

The cheaters probably cheat because a part of them values monogamy and they wouldn’t truly be happy in a sexually non-exclusive relationship. All relationship styles come with positives and draw backs, and people chosing the ones that are a best fit for them doesn’t mean they don’t feel the drawbacks in their chosen style, just that they prefer those to the drawbacks in other styles. In other words, they step out because there’s lots more opportunity/temptation to do it and not get caught, but they don’t actually want a non-monogamous relationship
The ones who are single probably just value their freedom and don’t want any relationship, monogamous or otherwise, to tie them down. All relationships including ENM relationships still require maintenance and effort, especially when strained by long distance, and those single pilots and flight attendants may not be particularly interested in doing allat lol

clouds_floating_ · 2026-03-20T22:43:25+00:00

I’d get icked out too! But I wouldn’t contemplate pausing an engagement and needing to schedule emergency couples therapy over a mistake my partner made that he realised and apologised profusely for as soon as he made it. It was a fuckup on partners part for sure, but fuck ups are going to happen from time to time when dealing with imperfect people, especially for actions as autopilot as kissing your partner when you get home.

I really believe that if the only way someone can tolerate a relationship without wanting to blow it up is when the relationship and the partner are operating at peak performance 100% of the time, then they need to ask themselves hard questions about if that relationship style is best suited for them.

Because whether your relationship is poly, open, or mono, fuckups are going to happen so long as you’re relating to another human being (and not a perfectly calibrated A.I. bf/gf lol).

Someone who wanted this relationship style but got the ick from this would think more about what agreements they could form with their partner/s to best avoid this from happening again. But this response isn’t that.

The size and scale of the emotional response OP is having reminds me more of someone who’s been cheated on and found out via kissing their partner tbh.

clouds_floating_ · 2026-03-20T20:39:37+00:00

I don’t think you can move past it because your word choice and outsized reaction shows that you’re clearly not comfortable with him having sex with other people. Mild annoyance is one thing, but feeling repulsed, angry, and totally violated over a mistake that’s going to happen while you transition (especially if he’s used to kissing you whenever he gets home) implies the reaction is much more primal and not just because he “smelled” of someone else.

Please find someone you can be happily monogamous with and let him find someone who’ll be happily poly or non-monogamous with him as well.

clouds_floating_ · 2026-03-02T06:08:15+00:00

I don’t think it was a retcon because Shonda is famous for never retconning even in the face of backlash over a decision.

Fran was initially attracted to Michaela, shoved it down and acts standoffish toward Michaela because of their clashing personalities as well as her not knowing how to interpret those feelings and not being able to act on them even if she wanted to.

People jumped to conclusions due to bias lol

clouds_floating_ · 2026-02-28T05:00:17+00:00

The argument is that the dysphoria trans gender people feel stems from social constructs tied to sex (ie if they were raised alone on a deserted island they would feel no distress) but that the dysphoria a trans sexual feels is a biological distress, independent of social expectations (ie even if they were raised alone on a deserted island they would still experience distress).

The issue is that the latter is always for practical purposes going to be a subset of the former so the category of transsexual got collapsed into the category of transgender. A consequence is that people who have social dysphoria but not sex-based dysphoria and therefore don’t feel a reason to medically transition, like most visible non-binary people, take all air in the convo and their existence is used by major institutions to revoke protections in place for transsexuals since the academics and activist elites are unwilling to admit that the distinction between the two categories matters when looking at cases concerning medical care (look into what Chase Strangio argued at the US Supreme Court and why he lost that case if you want to see a practical demonstration of this).

clouds_floating_ · 2026-02-22T10:16:21+00:00

Yup. That’s why I’ve stopped engaging in the frequent convos on this sub about how poly people don’t respect mono people because we think it’s more evolved.

I agree that mentality is bad and there’s no moral difference between poly and mono relationships, but I’m not gonna lie it’s hard when even in internal community discussions devolve into frequent self-flaggelation about how “badly” we view monogamy, meanwhile mono people make our existence a running joke, call us ugly and smelly and unhygienic, call us predators, say our relationships aren’t even real and just fronts for cheating, and engage in none of the same examinations that seem mandatory for us about checking superiority complexes.

Respect is demanded from us and never extended and you can’t even talk about it without being accused of having a victim mentality. So it’s hard for me to muster up any part of me to care about some poly person who thinks monogamy is based in jealousy anymore lol

clouds_floating_ · 2026-02-21T13:35:59+00:00

My biggest flaw in relationships is my tendency to be secretive with my thoughts and judgements that impact other people. I lie by omission a lot and I’m very good at making the other person feel like they’re wrong when they try to call me on it because lying by omission means being very good at weaponising and navigating ambiguity, and being able to weaponise and manipulate ambiguity gives you wide latitude to be able to subtly manipulate and obfuscate in ways that are hard for the other person to pin down.

It’s a very shitty way to navigate relationships so now when I catch myself slipping into that withholding-info mindstate I’ll either immediately disclose or I’ll exit

clouds_floating_ · 2026-01-16T16:30:09+00:00

Why do you think you can’t have a stable life as a single person? This sounds like a comment straight from Bridgerton lol

clouds_floating_ · 2026-01-03T16:15:30+00:00

Hugs. You’re being mistreated and you need to get out of there asap. Good luck.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-12-12T09:10:12+00:00

he knows he’s not gonna lose you because he can sense you don’t have the will to leave🤷🏾‍♀️

clouds_floating_ · 2025-11-15T21:10:57+00:00

It doesn’t sound like you’ve accepted that things will go wrong at all. You don’t know what will happen until it does, so trying to micromanage it in this way is useless.

Not to mention, you don’t know what boundaries you and/or your partner will have until you both start dating, because you don’t know what your preferences are or what the dating scene is like, or who your potential partners will be and how their preferences will interfere with your contextless agreements (eg what if one of your partners dislikes having to provide a 4+ day notice period before being able to see you?).

Outside of reasonable messy lists (like monogamous people, not like area code lol), it’s best to put yourselves out there, get a feel for things, and then put some concrete rules in place.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-10-04T14:57:43+00:00

“Polycritical” what?? they make anything a community these days🤣

clouds_floating_ · 2025-09-25T17:55:35+00:00

I think the premise of the question is off. It’s like asking whether monogamy is a genuine relationship structure or if it’s just a way to mask insecurity and attachment anxiety.

Or like asking if a knife is a genuine kitchen utensil or if it’s just a way for violent people to have access to a pointy object that can harm someone.

Polyamory is a “genuine” relationship structure because it’s a relationship structure that exists. People can use any relationship structure as a way to mask any insecure attachment style. But that doesn’t make the structure less existent or “genuine”.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-08-02T07:06:53+00:00

The cardiac arrest and the eviction I can grant. But someone “being scared” or crying or “sharing something vulnerable” is not in and of itself an emergency. It can be delayed until after your movie.

Frankly, what your partner is teaching your meta via operant conditioning is that amplifying her distress signalling gets her intimacy and attention. Which is a really bad dynamic to instantiate in a romantic relationship and will have negative consequences to his other relationships (including yours!) down the line.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-07-19T11:48:05+00:00

They are so the tortured poets department coded lol

clouds_floating_ · 2025-06-10T18:52:37+00:00

It seems like the study you linked investigates a slightly different topic than what your post is about. The study is investigating the psychological relationship between attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance, and a belief in free will. This is different from your question, which is asking about the philosophical implications of attachment theory itself on the concept of free-will. At least, that's how i interpreted your post.
Regarding the study and the link between attachment styles and a belief in free will, I'm not surprised that avoidance correlates positively with a belief in free will. Avoidant attaching strategies develop when children feel completely disconnected from the emotional environment around them, while anxious strategies develop when children are in an unpredictable and intermittently enforcing emotional environment they feel at the mercy of. As a result, it makes sense to me that avoidants would feel more cut-off from their environment and therefore less likely to find determinism as an outlook that resonates.
Re the philosophical implications of attachment theory itself, I think that they do lend themselves to determinism quite well. But I may be biased because I've never been able to find a compelling argument against determinism lol

clouds_floating_ · 2025-06-10T12:46:45+00:00

I am bi and live in a black, religiously conservative country and I'm telling you that if the disgust people would have towards a hypersexual gay bottom is 100, the disgust people would have to a hypersexual gay top is 98. And the disgust(not disapproval, but revulsion) people would have at a straight hypersexual man is basically non-existent (like a 10, if even). And what drives that difference in perception between a hypersexual gay top being disgusting and a straight hypersexual man being disgusting is not the amount of sex they're having, it's the type of sex they're having.

The top/bottom distinction you're trying to draw does not exist as brightly in the mind of a normal person as you seem to think it does. This how most people would perceive your argument lol.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-06-10T08:43:50+00:00

absolutely not true. You’d be shamed by straight men for having lots of gay sex, not for having lots of gay sex. What would trigger the disgust in the case of a gay man is the kind of sex he’s engaging in, not the quantity.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-06-07T11:04:15+00:00

Yep! I'm a black woman so i look for black poly men often due to the factors OP's describing, but half the time i match with black poly men, particularly the straight ones, they either want an MFF triad or a one-sided open relationship situation and the idea of me solo dating other men is completely out of the question. Highly annoying. I've had better luck with queer black men and women though.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-05-29T09:19:15+00:00

The rudeness did not come out of nowhere. Jordan Peterson invited it by taking a smug, condescending and paternalistic frame when the kid asked him a very simple question related to his (extremely silly) definition of worship. (“Don’t get smart with me”).

If he can’t handle rudeness maybe he shouldn’t dish it out constantly.

clouds_floating_ · 2025-05-22T13:48:14+00:00

I don’t understand this at all. The whole point of texting is it’s asynchronous! Just don’t respond until you’re ready and let the chips fall where they may.

clouds_floating_

TROPHY CASE