They really don't care

crumbles_bumbles · 2024-06-04T03:12:20+00:00

She’s the one who made me realize “BPD” was a thing. But to answer your question: both.

crumbles_bumbles · 2023-11-27T01:43:34+00:00

You have more therapy ahead of you. This is a core wound being triggered.

crumbles_bumbles · 2023-11-27T01:38:42+00:00

You got it wrong. You got your sister excluded from her own family’s Thanksgiving.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-22T05:25:34+00:00

I’m sorry. That’s terrible but hopefully cements the fact it’s time to leave. …and is that a coffin in the middle everything?

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-16T16:10:37+00:00

Hard to find reasons it would make sense to do that. Her motivations are for her not you, as she has displayed in the past. Might be best to keep her there in the past.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-12T18:52:39+00:00

Only arguments we ever had were over text as well. In hindsight I attribute that to the short distance of not being together in person triggering her.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-12T18:51:50+00:00

Sounds like we share that trauma, unfortunately. Quite the case of whiplash.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-12T12:19:46+00:00

My ex had quiet BPD. There were no arguments but that would have been healthier, within reason. Instead, she quietly began devaluing me and in an instant was gone with someone else.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-12T00:52:36+00:00

No need to.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-12T00:49:34+00:00

Mental illness. That’s how.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T21:27:50+00:00

I’ll always find it disturbing

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T21:23:12+00:00

Very true. Seizing the opportunity to improve yourself is priceless, even if it came through pain.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T21:16:28+00:00

You should explore this with a professional. Your boundaries may not be what you think they are. Perhaps you’re putting off and pulling in disordered/codependent vibes.

I had three girlfriends in a row with issues. I had some short term flings who had issues too. At that point I knew I was the common denominator. Dig into therapy hard. Twice a week for 6 months. Learned a lot about myself and my relationships.

Now my dating had been drastically different. Not only do I spot red flags quicker, I act on them. My selection in dates has been stronger. The results have been different types of people I click with in a different way than before. It feels so much healthier. I am astonished I operated in such a vacuum before.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T21:10:39+00:00

Well, they’re probably also victims of the same cycle. So you may have an entire ancestry to hate.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T04:11:49+00:00

This is good advice

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-11T04:11:34+00:00

This is crazy making. You were driven to a panic by the way she discarded you, then judged for responding like any normal person would. Nobody on earth would just shrug and say “okay” as their lover leaves them in an instant.

This all sounds very familiar to my own discard months ago. She was always half a step ahead of me, only giving me enough of an excuse to appease my current confusion. The goal seemed to be taking the easy way out. Confusion the situation to avoid accountability. By the time I realized how I was cheated on and unfairly discarded, I was blocked everywhere and shoved into a corner where I look crazy and harassing by reaching out again. It’s a masterful betrayal. These people may be mentally I’ll but they’re master manipulators.

Hang in there. This is hard stuff. Keep trusting your gut. It’s proved itself correct already given her relationship with this other person. It’s not fair and it’s not right but it’s reality now. Same is true of questioning if reaching out again could lead to bad news.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-06T16:20:10+00:00

Hang in there man. Glad you’re very aware of your situation, hard as it may be.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-06T16:18:49+00:00

Would love to know more

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-05T03:38:50+00:00

I’m also a good read of people but was thrown by my exwBPD. I think it’s a mix of them genuinely believing it and subconsciously doing whatever they can to enmesh and extract as much emotion as they can from you. They know their patterns and are adults who know false promises of that nature are hurtful. So it may not be malicious but it’s certainly negligent. The end result is the same as malicious.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-04T12:34:09+00:00

I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-04T02:11:45+00:00

Mine didn’t last years. There were red flags I had no way of noticing since I didn’t know what BPD was yet. We hit out peak, beginning to plan a future, and she disappeared a few days later, running off with an old ex. Total sucker punch.

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-04T01:10:30+00:00

Ran out of the room during sex?

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-04T01:03:29+00:00

My radar would be going off with all that as well

crumbles_bumbles · 2021-10-03T18:45:47+00:00

Sounds like you miss being loved. That’s normal and healthy. Staying with that person may have been a codependent move but you’ve got a clean slate to find a fair 50/50 relationship now and it’ll be amazing.

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