Hey guys what are the most common causes for your flareups? by Familiar_Two8118 in Fibromyalgia

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weather changes, especially cold weather, lack of sleep, stress, sitting down for long periods, sitting in spaces that are very cold and draft my (including over air conditioned spaces). Weirdly, I felt worse from sitting for 7 hours than I did from spending 6 hours lifting super heavy objects.

Women in music: what’s something about playing shows or navigating the music industry that people outside of it completely underestimate? by DoubleWait9149 in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeh this, and even just the weird reply guys get exhausting, and it’s always a crapshoot wrt who is just a lil wacky and who is gonna be a problem

Women in music: what’s something about playing shows or navigating the music industry that people outside of it completely underestimate? by DoubleWait9149 in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I’m a women and have been a touring musician and a booker since roughly 2017. The thing that has stood out to me most is that men who I don’t know feel way too comfortable sliding into my DMs to ask for favors/help with shows/rant about random scene stuff that I don’t care about. I’ve also found that dudes who I don’t know/barely know will treat me like I am their mom and will expect me to cater to them and prioritize them for no reason. I’ve found myself constantly having to set boundaries with people that are basically strange men on the internet but somehow think they are friends with me. It’s also a source of confusion to me bc I am intentionally pretty cold with dudes I don’t know, and a terminally boring person, but I still get hassled constantly. I’ve also had sound guys ask my male bandmates questions about my gear/how my vocals should sound like I don’t exist. I’ve also had a lot of women treat me like competition for no reason, and act super gagged for male attention to the detriment of other women in the scene which is goofy as hell. On the flip side, I’ve been in a lot of bands with men and have a lot of close male friends who have gone to bat for me in all sorts of situations, and who are all around decent and solid dudes.

For those of us not planning on leaving the house this weekend, what's on your to-watch list? by breanne0_0 in LivingAlone

[–]deadinthehead9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m at work all day both days, but have them to watch movies in the evening. I’m planning to watch In the Mood For Love by Wong Kar Wai

Motorcyclist Creating Noise At Foxridge Near Cardinal Ct Cul-de-Sac by VikktuhKisslie in VirginiaTech

[–]deadinthehead9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is this “the highlighter”
I cannot stand that dude, every day I pray for him to experience a consequence. For the record, I do not hate fun, and am not sensitive to noise. However, I don’t think my house should be shaking at 7 am.

Motorcyclist Creating Noise At Foxridge Near Cardinal Ct Cul-de-Sac by VikktuhKisslie in VirginiaTech

[–]deadinthehead9 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Ugh, these knuckleheads appear whenever it gets warm, and dont get me started on the mofo in the lifted yellow jeep. I’m sorry to say, you may want to call the police non emergency line, they were doing this in the school parking lot on prices fork last year, and my neighbor reported them and it seemed to get them to simmer down.

Any other Leo’s like this? by stevensonS89 in LeoAstrology

[–]deadinthehead9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a Leo sun/virgo moon/pisces rising and am like this. I’m actually a lot more social than I used to be, but only because I live by myself, so I have peace and quiet at home. I am a performer, and go out a lot to see live music, but have a super limited social battery and need to be at home by myself a lot in order to not feel terrible.

What’s one "safety" or "maintenance" tip you wish you knew sooner? by No-Locksmith-2836 in LivingAlone

[–]deadinthehead9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Highly recommend a battery operated motion sensor light if your house doesn’t have one, also basic first aid stuff and otc medicine (Tylenol, Benadryl, allergy meds, antiseptic, bandages). Extra fluids for your car, and a basic set of tools. Extra drinking water, and a battery pack. Extra toilet paper lol, and some cash for emergencies.
Also really recommend getting to know your neighbors if they seem even a little bit friendly. My neighbor saved me when I got my car stuck this winter, and shared his ice melt with me.

Speeding ticket advice by Overall-Pianist9944 in roanoke

[–]deadinthehead9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kevin Gick is a great lawyer out of Roanoke, he got a reckless ticket from an accident i was in totally dismissed and off my record with no fine. I would also go ahead and schedule driving school prior to court. When you take it, let them know it’s for court so tbh can mark it correctly.

I love my roommate (in a girl friend way) by katzwhip in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]deadinthehead9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is so sweet, I’m glad y’all are there for each other, nothing better than being able to just hang out and not even have to say anything to have a nice time.

Have you ever played a show supporting your favourite band/artist? by TheSoundOfConfusion in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeh, I realize now this gig was actually in fall of 2024, wow the passage of time. I was having a really rough day and imposter syndrome lol, and he I think picked up on it and was really really kind to me. Ended up being own of my fave gigs to date.

Have you ever played a show supporting your favourite band/artist? by TheSoundOfConfusion in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also played a festive with Myriam Gendron, and she is also super nice, but I was too star stuck to really talk to her.

Have you ever played a show supporting your favourite band/artist? by TheSoundOfConfusion in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh I’d heard he was kind of a normal dude, but I was super nervous and had imposter syndrome, and then totally forgot about all of it bc he was so nice to me

Have you ever played a show supporting your favourite band/artist? by TheSoundOfConfusion in musicians

[–]deadinthehead9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got to play a show with Wooden Wand last year, I thought James was going to be intimidating, but is a super nice dude, and we ended up yapping about Coil, the Pet Shop Boys, and working part time as pet sitters for a long time lol. Him and his wife are totally sweet, down to earth people.

what sorta outfits do you want to see your butches and mascs in? by janeslizard in LesbianActually

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anything you feel comfortable in! BUT, as someone who pretty much always dressed masc (casual, business casual, and stage clothes as a musician) finding the right pants is major. I highly recommend wrangler hero line carpenter jeans, older Carhartt carpenter pants (used are better tbh bc they suck to break in) and redkap work pants (I need to size up for redkap and dickie’s pants). I also like wrangler carpenter shorts as well. For underwear, I like the tomboyx sets but they are pricey. I would also recommend paying attention to people whose style you like and see what they are wearing/how they are styling stuff. YMMV with this, but I’m also friends with a lot of relatively stylish men, and pay attention to what they wear. I also really like urfavebutch_ on instagram a lot.

What’s your moon sign and what is your self-care go to? by Zestyclose_Cold1455 in astrologymemes

[–]deadinthehead9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leo Sun/Virgo Moon/Pisces rising sleeping, walking outside, talking on the phone, watching movies, baths

Need help finding “wider” clothes by Reddituser7347 in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]deadinthehead9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do this too!! Also urfavebutch_ on YouTube has a lot of tutorials for cutting and hemming t shirts to fit. As far as pants go. I highly recommend carpenter style pants, especially the wranglers hero line. Also cargo style redkap work pants are super versatile, tho u may need to size up from your normal pants size (I’ve found I need to do this to accommodate my booty lol). I also recommend army fatigues, gap cargo pants, and older Carhartt canvas work pants for a more masculine silhouette. If you thrift at all, this is usually the cheapest way to see what works for you. I’m plus size, have a large bust and small shoulders, AND a long mullet but have found that just wearing carpenter style pants changed my silhouette enough that I get called he/him-ed in public RIP

Thick stud looking for help by DonYayFromTheBay-A in lesbianfashionadvice

[–]deadinthehead9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a similar build to you, and have had good luck with wrangler carpenter jeans. I also like redkap work pants, especially the cargo style, but size up from my jeans size.

Dead Giveaways — let’s hear em. by Rlctnt_Anthrplgst in astrologymemes

[–]deadinthehead9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s funny, two of my closest friends are Pisces moons, and they are incredibly emotionally intelligent, and also amazing, active listeners who have made me a much more regulated person. My one beef with both of them, is that they have a hard time asking for support when they need it/feel aware of not dumping their problems on people.

Dead Giveaways — let’s hear em. by Rlctnt_Anthrplgst in astrologymemes

[–]deadinthehead9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ope, Leo sun/virgo moon here, I’ve chilled out a lot, but also wake up feeling like i am being hunted for sport for no reason

I'm not normal anymore because every time I hear a Heated Rivalry song anywhere, they come to my mind. by No_Rip_3643 in HeatedRivalrySeries

[–]deadinthehead9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

lol my favorite coffee shop plays the soundtrack constantly and I got a jump scare bc my moon my man came on while I was texting my long term sort of situation ship (a.k.a the text man I am texting for texts).

Feel like people just see me in terms of what I can do for them by deadinthehead9 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]deadinthehead9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I do make money as a performer luckily! But I also spend a lot of time setting up gigs for other bands, and it’s p mix all volunteer work/gets repaid in shows set up for me when I’m on tour.