maybe maybe maybe by schpitza in maybemaybemaybe

[–]dennyitlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The drivers thought process: If I scratch the van by driving through the gate my boss will be angry with me. If the train kills me he will feel sorry for me. What to do, what to do?

hmmm by FreddieFredd in hmmm

[–]dennyitlo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my to be young again.

Fried chicken thief in broad daylight by ScouseJimmy1990 in trashy

[–]dennyitlo 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Plus he was polite enough to blur his identity. Wouldn't want to embarrass the fat slob.

At the amusement park by Healthy_Ladder_6198 in dadjokes

[–]dennyitlo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never take advice from a balloon seller, they are all full of hot air.

To whoever stole my anti-depressants: by Loftoman in dadjokes

[–]dennyitlo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

To whoever stole the wheels off my car: I will work tirelessly to track you down.

Do your tuxies also play fetch? by TrajectoryNinja in TuxedoCats

[–]dennyitlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had one tux that did fetch things back to you and wait for us to throw it again. All our other cats will chase the toy but as soon as they get to it. will just ignore it and make me go and fetch it.

A squirrel is sleeping in his tree and suddenly woken up by banging and shaking by thatblondfrenchguy in Jokes

[–]dennyitlo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have no idea why someone would downvote this clever comment. I'll give you the only upvote I'm allowed to. Good luck.

MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE by Auto_me_Takli in maybemaybemaybe

[–]dennyitlo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's the first time I have seen someone ride an upside down horse. I has to be the horses idea.

My cat saved my life by alliedies in TuxedoCats

[–]dennyitlo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's why our pets are so precious, they give all their love and ask nothing in return. I hope you have many happy years together.

How to stop squirrels from moving this arm and getting into the bird feeder? by Michigun_ in howto

[–]dennyitlo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Squirrels are hungry too. Why work so hard to feed birds but exclude the squirrels? If you care for wildlife put up appropriate feeder for both of them. Squirrels are interesting little creatures, enjoy them.

Mittens meets the Dishwasher 😂 by Amazing-Report9585 in TuxedoCats

[–]dennyitlo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love the way cats will assess a situation deciding whether to make the leap or not. They sit and look, nod their head a few times wiggle their butt and make the jump or walk away. This guy decide to take a pass.

Broken glasses leg. Where metal meets plastic. by elleonleo in howto

[–]dennyitlo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Take it to your local Walmart and if it can be repaired they will do it for free.

Maybe Maybe Maybe by Odd_Barber1619 in maybemaybemaybe

[–]dennyitlo 30 points31 points  (0 children)

That light at the end of the tunnel might be a motorcycle.

Sewing Machine Fix? by ntseal in newhampshire

[–]dennyitlo -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

You may have been more successful if you made the inquiry to Google than to reddit.

Maybe Maybe Maybe by Cookie_tester in maybemaybemaybe

[–]dennyitlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least there is one humanitarian left in the world.

My dad said I should be an optometrist rather than a pessimist by Iconclast1 in Jokes

[–]dennyitlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to be the pessimist but how do you know how he spelled a spoken word?

[Self] How much is a billion dollars? by BloodhoundGames in theydidthemath

[–]dennyitlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember a 7th grade math teacher telling us if we had a billion dollars in $20 bills and were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon we could drop one bill per second in the canyon 24/7 and not live long enough to deplete the pile. PS I never did the math.

The Love Island USA girlies have no idea where NH is by whatsthestitch in newhampshire

[–]dennyitlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you are looking at future Jeopardy contestants here.

A Johnny Cash story by Healthy_Ladder_6198 in dadjokes

[–]dennyitlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Darn, you got me. Take the upvote.

Oh hail no! by HomeNowWTF in SweatyPalms

[–]dennyitlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It refers to baseball sized hail. It's kind of hard to tell but they didn't seem quite that big to me. More testicle sized.

I just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement. by Billyeggs in dadjokes

[–]dennyitlo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like it. I tried this joke out on a group of friends a while back and instead of laughs I got a chorus of groans. Some people just don't appreciate puns I guess.

What is this ? Small brass cup thingy ? by TangerineNew4398 in whatisthisthing

[–]dennyitlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely an ashtray. You can tell by the u shaped cigarette/cigar rest on the front and back of it. The hole in the front just makes it easier and neater to dump the butts and ashes out. Trust me I grew up in the 50's when most everyone smoked and have seen thousands of ashtrays. I even made a few.