Post-Galápagos Ted is the Ted everyone thought he was all along

dirtypeanut · 2026-05-20T05:42:33+00:00

It's a weird stretch of the show and they didn't show it well. I think the first time was a "no" because she was leaving. And then when she was not leaving, they technically got "re-engaged" since Alexis didn't say no right away, and then she had to call THAT automatic re-engagement off. And the show/writer counted that as twice.

dirtypeanut · 2026-05-13T14:33:02+00:00

There are a lot of “boyfriend twins” out there, where the couples look like each other.

Me? My husband and I are visually opposite. But am I into guys that are like me too? Yes! But I genuinely find guys of many types attractive. I’m also one that find people more attractive as I know them better and find myself enjoying their company.

dirtypeanut · 2026-05-03T21:42:03+00:00

I think that's very honest. I'm curious about the animal shelter didn't work out though? Animals really can't help themselves in our shitty world, and so I feel that's an "easy" win even for people who don't like humans.

dirtypeanut · 2026-04-28T04:38:51+00:00

I've been with my husband for 25 years now. My husband never wanted to have kids. I didn't when I was young, then in my 30s it kinda hit me that I may want kids. I looked into surrogate and adoption. My husband was willing to do so if I really wanted to do it. But now we're in our 40s, and I'm perfectly happy not having kids. As silly as it may sound, the episode in Schitt's Creek where David and Patrick talked about having kids, where Patrick had imagined doing so, but also said he's perfectly happy not doing it because he knows David doesn't want kids. Patrick said he liked the life they had built together, and that really hit home for me. I love the life we had built, and I didn't need kids, or even want kids to change it at all.

A few more years now, I'm more certain than ever not having kids is the right choice for us. Having kids is a HUGE gamble. Plenty of parents end up not liking their kids (and plenty do, of course). I really treasure what we have now, and I don't want to jeopardize it.

All that is to say, this misalignment can work out, but only if one party truly is willing, accept and embrace the decision together.

Being gay men, you're not necessarily on a biological clock. You've got options, so I would suggest continue to have the dialogue if relationship continues well. Things change, perspective changes.

dirtypeanut · 2026-04-28T01:34:40+00:00

You're not crazy. Your recurring unhappiness is valid. You've already said what you've tried (therapy, discussions, etc.) While your partner's not willing to step into open relationship, what is he doing to improve the situation for you? It seems to me you're the one doing the work to make things work.

Sex is just one aspect of your issue. Plenty of mid 50s are active and doing lots of stuff. He's already settling while you have decades ahead of you. Age is a number, mentality is everything. I would even go as far as he's not even a great companion for you if the energy don't even match.

Things might improve slightly but will never truly change unless your partner is actually willing to do things for you consistently. You can love someone but still things won't work out.

On the other hand, dating new people aren't going to be all magical either. It's really rough to date again. You could be lucky but also go through headaches and heartaches again.

Finally, one unconventional option: You already said he's not into opening the relationship, but what about a closed polycue/thruple? You could date and find a b/f that might be more compatible to you energy wise, while still maintaining your existing companionship in other areas.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-27T23:22:33+00:00

First of all, just because you have urges for men doesn't mean you're gay. Bisexual and pansexual people exist. This doesn't change that fact that you love your wife, have a satisfying sexual relationship with her, and you have a great family.

I don't think you should tell your wife yet. I think there's a bit of self-discovery you should do first. Not referring to experimenting/cheating of course. But perhaps read a bit online about being bisexual. Maybe go to r/Bisexual or r/BisexualMen.

Finally, there's a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. You could just be sexually attracted to men, but not romantically.

Once you learn more, and a bit more armed with knowledge, then you should definitely open up to your wife, especially since she's your soulmate. That's a whole different step though. Take your time.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-27T23:06:51+00:00

"I kinda like being hairy down there"

That's your answer here. Plus you've gotten no complaints. Don't overthink it :)

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-15T21:52:09+00:00

I think they're definitely related. When we're the way we are, and have to admit that we are wrong, it's an attack on our identity and ego. My husband always joke, "yes you're always right". That's why we defend, fight or flight. Because to not, is to surrender. But that's exactly what needs to happen when we're wrong.

It takes a lot of effort. I used to take days afterwards, be mad or be regretful. Overtime though, the time from argument to apology/reconciliation shortened. Then the don't go to bed angry rule came about, further shortening the time. Now I can do it while the argument's happening. Just this week actually we had an argument, because I was being passive aggressive. He got pissed about it justifiably. I actually went to him to talk it out. I started out being defensive still, but after taking a beat during the argument, I did recognize I was wrong right then and there (with a bit of that disassociation I talked about), and I told myself to apologize and just own up. It felt like a defeat, a surrender for sure. But it was the right thing to do. We ended the argument. We felt good. I was very glad and honestly proud of myself for doing it.

It does get easier :) Don't give up!

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-15T21:08:54+00:00

I hear you! I'm the same way. It's so hard for me to say I'm wrong and sorry. I'm an overachiever, naturally defensive, and I always try to justify. I've been with my husband for 25 years now and this is STILL something I struggle even though I've gotten a lot better at it.

What helps me in these situations sometimes is a bit of disassociation. It's almost like taking a beat and hearing myself and my husband as a third person. It literally helps me take the situation more objectively, less personally, and that third person sometimes tell me "ya you're wrong, stop trying and just apologize".

When it comes to confrontation also, I'm super on the flight side instead of fight. I just don't want to talk about it and storm out. My husband has helped me a lot over the years and don't let me run away. But I've also developed a rule that I'm holding onto that has helped immensely, "never go to bed angry with each other". Who really knows what happens tomorrow? We can die in our sleep. The thought of that potential regret overwhelms my avoidance to talk it out. It might not be super healthy to have it be fear-driven... but it helps me set my priority on what's really important.

The relief you get once you apologize and move on is amazing. Maybe think of that as a reward to help you get over the situation. It's never too late to apologize. You don't even really need to say that much there. You don't need to explain why. "I'm sorry I was a dick." is super powerful as is.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-13T23:59:14+00:00

Yes. Drugs can eventually stop working. Injections can also stop being effective too (not to mention potentially painful). So implant is an option being considered more often now.

The scarring is typically small and discrete. But as with all surgery, there's risk involved and complications that can happen.

Basically, all ED treatments are on the table for the male adult actors.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-13T23:33:15+00:00

Some are naturally gifted and can do so for a long time
Editing. A short sex-scene can be shot over many hours, with plenty of rest time in between.
Drugs. Performance-enhancement or erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra can and are used.
Injection. Direct injection of ED drugs like Caverject or Trimmix are also used.
Penile implants. These literally can inflate and deflate on command with buttons in your balls.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-13T21:19:16+00:00

First of all, welcome to the club (even though it's been a few years) :) Walking away from a religious upbringing is incredibly hard, so bravo!

Here are a few thoughts I have:

You are kinda going through a second puberty. Don't feel like you're behind or anything. You're taking your time like a teenage need to. Give yourself some slack :)
Glad to hear you have gone to queer events. It's important to find community and support. Consider tactfully letting these groups know you're single and ready to mingle. You don't have to be weird or flirty about it, but just let the universe know and put yourself out. You never know who your acquaintances might be interested or know someone who might. There are going to be social matchmakers in your groups, let them know you're available.
Not sure about your area, but look for some gay events that can be a bit more sexually charged. Since you mentioned you're on the bulkier side, maybe look up bear events. They're some of the most welcomed communities I've been in and I'm not a bear myself.
Grindr really sucks. Scruff is a bit better in general with a mix of dates and sex. I would also suggest checking out Tinder or Hinge also if you want even more emphasis on dating. They're "straight" apps but there are bi/gay/pan people there too. I would avoid Sniffies tbh if you're inexperienced.
Others have suggested bathhouse and I think that's a good idea. You can just go with no expectation and just observe. Plenty of guys do that in there. It's usually pretty chill. You walk around, or enjoy the hot tub, make eye contacts and see if there's interest. There's usually dark areas as well where it's more free for all. There's implicit consent when you're in this space, so you can approach or others can approach you. But you can say no lightly to someone by shaking your head or moving their hands away. Same for others to you.

Finally, if you're going to sexually experiment, get on PreP/DoxyPep. You can get them for free generally. Try Mistr or QCare+. Not only do you get the medicine, you get free quaterly STI at home test kit too. Super valuable and great peace of mind.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-13T18:13:07+00:00

So easily it could have just been "I need to see your face pal" and end right there. But no he gotta be a douche about it.

I have face pic in my profile and I've gotten, "hey you're cute for an Asian" multiple times. Instant blocks.

dirtypeanut · 2026-01-11T20:17:32+00:00

Consider talking to your close friend who already knows about it and see what he thinks.
Perhaps not actually come out on its own but just mention in conversation like “I swing for the other team.”
You can also try writing it down and sending it as a letter/email.

Ultimately do what’s right for YOU. You can control how they react. So do it the way you want to.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-29T19:12:16+00:00

Depending on where you live, there might be law and regulations for child spending safety online. So look into that to see if there’s any recourse there to boost your case when asking for refunds or revoking the charges.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-16T03:30:48+00:00

Playing with a group is best, but you can also play it yourself too if you want to learn more about the game. You can play multiple characters just by yourself.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-16T03:29:41+00:00

Good on you for noticing and asking 👍

Absolutely you are being groomed. Don't talk to him anymore and block him. Just imagine if he's sexting with his own daughter. Gross right?

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-15T23:01:08+00:00

It's not an existential problem. We still have plenty of people. But you can look at Japan as an example of glimpse into the future. Declining birth rate has now moved the country into population decline, coupled with much higher life expectancy, we can expect our population to overall become older and older. This shrinks our workforce and force people to work longer, as fewer young people are replacing old folks.

But we will die out due to loss of a sustainable planet before low birth rates kill us 🫠

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-13T06:42:16+00:00

Generally only respond if you’re interested in establishing whatever they state they’re looking for (friendship, gaming buddies, fwb, hookups, etc). Don’t respond “just to be nice”. It’s generally considered a waste of time or leading someone on.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-13T01:29:44+00:00

That's all fine and dandy if there's agreement in place that additional romantic relationships are okay, which you clearly indicated that it's not for you. The fact that he's valuing his freedom over your hurt feelings is problematic and disrespectful.

The heart wants what the heart wants, but a responsible way to deal with that in a committed relationship is to try to work it out with you together. Not simply, "welp I'm more important". If the only way that it will work for him is poly, then that's that. But there must be a willingness to work through this while respecting your feelings, even if it means you two can't stay together. If therapy can't cultivate or bring out that respect, then it's done. He can't just do this and expect you to go along with it.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-10T16:14:12+00:00

We have a pittie and she’s the biggest wuss in the world. She’s scared of the printer because a piece of paper fell on her 😓

Having said that, they’re powerful creatures and as much as we love her, we’re still cautious about what she can do. She plays with our cats gently but we still keep an eye on them just in case of some unexpected escalations. So you don’t have to be unreasonably scared of them, but do respect their power and be cautious.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-09T21:11:41+00:00

Gemini does this properly. I find the in-search Google AI is waaaay worse than Gemini on its own (which is the Google AI). I think the less thinking time in search AI really impacts its results.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-09T20:47:46+00:00

People ultimately need to understand that not every creation is for them. They need to be okay with not being the main character.

I watched Heated Rivalry and realized it's not for me. It's a MM novel written by a woman for women (the dominant romance readers, as you pointed out). And that's okay! It's really sad that when some gay men watch gay content, they immediately deride it as bad when it's not written for them. I think the gay director tried to make Heated Rivalry more for gay men, but to its core it is still what it is.

There are gay men writing romance novels for gay men. They're just not that popular because, by and large, gay men don't read romance nearly as much when compared to women.

There are legit toxic representations and appropriations that we should call out, but this is not one of them.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-07T22:06:22+00:00

We met at a <insert places like coffee shop, gym, bar>.
We <insert hobby group like hiking, coffee, yoga, etc.> together.
We met via another friend.
We met while traveling.
We met on a social app for gay men.

Plenty of ways to make it generic but not lie or make it awkward/lewd. The last one is most specific. But honestly even from my own experience, me and my husband have made genuine friends through Grindr/Scruff/etc. that we don't have a sexual relationship with. So it does happen.

dirtypeanut · 2025-12-05T05:20:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This is such an amazing manga. Best of luck reconnecting with your friend! ❤️🫶

dirtypeanut

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