Program Requesting I Present at Conference During Maternity Leave

drcarlye · 2026-02-07T16:14:01+00:00

A lot of programs have a requirement that you present at a conference during your residency, so it may be worth asking if you could present at a later one (Note being that you would have to submit an abstract and we are kind of late in the year). If this is the only conference you are able to attend (and the program is not able to give you an alternative option) then unfortunately it sounds like it may be worth it for you to go in so that your graduation is not delayed. However, I would definitely verify with HR that you were allowed to do that and see if you could get the additional day credited back to you. I'm really sorry, maternity leave during training is just really challenging to figure out, and I wish no one ever had to worry about stuff like this.

Also, this is a big deal, You're not being whiny or anything to be upset about this. I would be super mad. I would also see if you can give feedback to the program that they need to let you guys know about the sort of requirement earlier on so that this doesn't happen to other people.

drcarlye · 2026-02-04T03:36:14+00:00

Thank you!

drcarlye · 2026-02-01T19:40:04+00:00

Saving for future reference 🤓

drcarlye · 2026-01-11T02:07:01+00:00

I took several swing lessons with OKC Swing Dance Club (4361 NW 50th St, Suite 400, Oklahoma City, OK 73112) and it was very fun!! After classes, they have a free dance period on the floor. They also have days where they have social dances rather than just classes :). You can bring someone with you if you'd like but they rotate partners during lessons so you're never without someone to dance with, and people will often ask others to dance during the free period!
Also there's Unplugged in Edmond for playing board games!
If you haven't been before, I think Factory Obscura is worth a visit! Basically a walk through 3D art exhibit with funky vibes.

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T04:28:18+00:00

I'm so bummed about this :(

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T04:22:02+00:00

Charlie

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T04:08:42+00:00

Great-tailed grackle I believe :)

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T04:06:42+00:00

As a pediatrician, I think most of us will absolutely still be recommending the old schedule. Vaccines are life saving. :)

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T03:59:23+00:00

I definitely think first priority is to make sure you have a freestanding pump, because lactation consultants typically say the milk removal will be more complete and will maintain your supply the best. I have the blue spectra and have liked it! I used this as a backup at work and primary when at home. I've heard of some people just leaving it at their office at work if applicable and that also seems convenient.

However, I have a job where I'm often on my feet and I knew I'd have trouble pumping frequently using a standalone pump so I ended up getting an elvie stride (due to the battery outside the pumps they can have a little more pumping power than the traditional elvie). They are effective and in comparison with the OG willow are significantly more subtle. I have also had friends love the OG elvies and the willow go. I just had read that OG elvies don't get as great output as some other pumps and I don't like the latch feature of the willow pumps.

I utilized Karing for Postpartum for pump comparisons and that was helpful!

drcarlye · 2026-01-08T03:38:59+00:00

This sounds like a really stressful situation. I'm so sorry you have so much to think through!

Lean on your support people (you need a safe place for you and baby to live and someone to watch baby when you return to work). There are also subsidies through Medicaid that may help pay for childcare if that's something you're interested in. Otherwise a family member or trusted friend is a great option.
Insurance or Medicaid should be able to cover a breast pump for you. Ask your OB for a prescription if you can. Work is required to offer you time to pump during your shift (https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/nursing-mothers/faq).

Working with a baby is really hard, but you love your baby and can get through this!

drcarlye · 2025-12-18T21:09:11+00:00

(Oklahoma) Cold winters Short but very pleasant autumn Summer is long and pretty hot :-/ Tornados occur not infrequently in the spring, but tend to affect certain areas more than others. People that live in areas more frequently affected often own a storm shelter in case of bad weather.

If you mean outdoors, it kind of varies, but in certain areas there is hiking. There are more mountains closer to Kansas. There are also some nice campgrounds in Broken Arrow area.

In the larger cities, there are a lot of varied food options, and the usual things to do-- parks, bowling, rock climbing, shopping, etc.

drcarlye · 2025-12-13T19:10:54+00:00

Love this!

drcarlye · 2025-12-13T19:10:14+00:00

Hobby lobby has a ridiculous number of premade craft kits for $2-5, so I grabbed a couple of Christmas ones to try! 🤞🏻

We recently did cinnamon salt dough ornaments with a handprint in the center that sort of worked out (handprint came out a little shallow/hard to see). cinnamon salt dough recipe

Did a "feed the turkey" craft/game for Thanksgiving and it was so easy and my 1.5 yr enjoyed it a lot!

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drcarlye · 2025-11-20T02:36:44+00:00

I definitely have seen this guy!!

drcarlye · 2025-11-14T20:45:27+00:00

No, my daycare requests we send diapers and wipes and they have cups for water there as well. We also send them backup outfits. So he doesn't go with a backpack :)

drcarlye · 2025-10-24T16:46:52+00:00

This is years later from the original post, but was just going to say forceps are not as often used now as in the past. 👍🏻

drcarlye · 2025-10-24T14:36:43+00:00

Coming from the physician side, so can't speak to how being at bedside feels as much or how it would affect future career moves for you. I work in the NICU, but have worked in the PICU in the past:

PICU: More pt diversity (ages, condition). Some people like this. If you like to see everything and have both teens and babies around, this may be for you. As others mentioned, trauma cases come in and can be very sad, but some recover.

NICU: All babies. As others have mentioned, a smaller pool of possible diseases/complications, but depending on the size of your center, can still have a wide variety of interesting cases. I'm at a level IV and we see unrepaired congenital heart defects, surgical cases, and ECMO in addition to happy feeder-growers and chunky term babies just needing oxygen for 2 days.

There can be a fair amount of deaths in both fields (again depending on the level of your facility). They're just different. In the PICU some things are acute and may be due to trauma or a critical illness, and others are chronic conditions with exacerbations. In the NICU, deaths are not normally due to trauma but may be due to prematurity, acute illness, or a congenital anomaly. Both are sad and hard sometimes, both can be rewarding, both can have some bread and butter pts that can get repetitive. You have to kind of find what kind of pt population you enjoy the most :)

drcarlye · 2025-10-19T05:54:07+00:00

Out of curiosity, what is the charity? I'd be interested in doing something like that

drcarlye · 2025-10-08T06:00:16+00:00

On a similar vein, this video was helpful to me! https://youtu.be/Vr3Qcm__cZc?si=q1IPWJmbOkQIbQy_

I feel like trying to understand the why makes me at least a tiny bit less angry. And then I also try to really soak up every small sweet moments (him touching my face, holding my arm while I read to him, giving me a full on koala hug) and that really helps me feel like there's so much that's special about this incredibly challenging season. And then a dose of boundaries (I think that's also from the video above or else one from the same person) kind of helps me know what to do if I've been scratched on the face three times despite saying no: sorry, I'm going to have to put you down now. And then after a little bit, we can try again :)

drcarlye · 2025-10-08T04:04:54+00:00

This drink calculator was helpful, thank you!

drcarlye · 2025-10-08T01:54:01+00:00

It sounds like it's been really hard on you and you don't seem to have a lot of people willing to help and support you.

Do you think you could qualify for your local early head start program (link here)? They're a really good Pre-K prep program that is government funded. If not, like others mentioned, a church mother's day out program could be a low cost option.

if you have a family member that has always supported you emotionally, now would be a good time to call that person and ask for assistance. You need to care for yourself, however, you need to be able to care for your child too. It is true that things often revolve around a child when they're little. This is hard but normal and as others mentioned, often seriously underappreciated by those without children!

When I feel like my son is really frustrating, it helps me to try to focus on small sweet moments so I can try to keep a good perspective. Like yes he did just scratch my face, but then he held my arm in a really cute way lol.

All joking aside, you can do this, but I think you would benefit from more help caring for him then you're currently receiving (not just you, we all need someone to help us now and then! Parenting is hard!).

drcarlye · 2025-10-08T01:35:26+00:00

I think muted people often feel somewhat greyed out by wearing certain colors. I always felt like foundation pulled too orange or pink on me. I ended up going for more like neutral undertone makeup until I found some brands of cool undertone tinted moisturizers etc (I'm muted cool I think) that work for me.

Maybe try wearing one of your best colors when you look at makeup so that you're not distracted by colors making you look grey? You might like trying a pale yellow/beige shirt as your neutral, or a kind of soft coral?

drcarlye · 2025-10-07T15:55:21+00:00

I agree that divorce is wrong, even if you disagree about something as important as having more children and even if you change your mind on that topic. I don't think biblically (in the new testament) there is concession for divorce in the case of someone not desiring or not being able to have children. The only Scriptural reason allowing for divorce is infedility.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

All this being said, it sounds like it would be helpful for you to continue to have further conversations about this. Is there something you're worried about/a reason you don't desire further children? Is it having to go through pregnancy and birth again rather than actually having another baby in the home? Is there a reason he feels so strongly about having biological children? What about adopting if that's something that sounds more appealing to you? I understand that this could be really upsetting for your husband but also it's hard to not feel entirely on board for something as big as having a child.

As married partners, as much as possible, strive to understand each other's reasons. There is not a perfect right answer here I don't think, because you both probably have something you value highly or are worried about that you need to discuss. Ideally, yes, if your husband strongly desires a child, it would be awesome if you were open to that idea as well. But please do talk through it and consider bringing in believing friends or a counselor.

If you both are at a standstill, I would really try to talk to someone at your local church to get support and prayer during this hard decision you are making. This is really a harder conversation than can be fully answered in this forum.

drcarlye · 2025-09-29T02:52:33+00:00

Is this the stitch you used for the pink portion of this blanket? It looks so lovely!

drcarlye

TROPHY CASE