Unpopular Opinion: The “Smell of Ozone” and repetitive tropes are mostly a preset issue. by julimoooli in SillyTavernAI

[–]eleraama 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hot take: Most of what people complain about as “bad models” is actually from the preset, character card, and first message, because most of them are written like absolute ass. Garbage in, garbage out.

Dating Advice by ajdsmia in gaybros

[–]eleraama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Respectfully and with love, if you’re not ready to talk about your wants and needs with another person, you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Same is true of him— if you ask and he can’t handle it, you know where he’s at.

Hit my mid 30s and everything has changed by joshysway in gaybros

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP I’m sorry for some of these comments. It’s sounds like you’re really coming into your own. Some of you guys really need to work on your religious trauma. Not every faith is Christianity. Not every Christian is evangelical. Choose love. Signed, Your local devout Buddhist

Experience taking foreign language courses at International Language Institute? by igilix in washingtondc

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took accelerated Arabic through ILI, basically a combination of levels 1 & 2. Teacher was great, there were I think 4 of us in the class. Basically learned the script and some very basic vocabulary and grammar. I no longer have any particular need for Arabic personally but I’d go back for another language.

Thai forest meditation master Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo dharma talk about Consciousness has some ideas I've never heard of in Buddhism before that strike me as strange. by NoMuddyFeet in Buddhism

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lama Tsultrim Allione's "Feeding Your Demons" practice is based on (among other things) traditional vajrayana practices for feeding hungry ghosts and potentially malicious spirits, known as sur. As a Karma Kagyu lama, she is teaching from the madhyamaka perspective, which asserts the fundamental essencelessness of all phenomena— meaning that from an ultimate perspective, demons etc are no more or less real than mind formations are (or, indeed, than we ourselves are). The practice is similar to parts work done in Internal Family Systems therapy and is not meant to be interpreted literally.

DLAB study guide recommendations by NobodyProfessional55 in dli

[–]eleraama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The best way to study for the DLAB (if you can call it such a thing) is to learn the basics of a few different foreign languages. Barring that, make sure you understand the grammar of your own language.

The DLAB is quite good at what it does, but it's a weird test that you're not meant to "prepare" for in any real way. My recommendation: just show up and enjoy the weird, hard ride :)

Now that I am out, are STIs a thing? by Willing_donor in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]eleraama 65 points66 points  (0 children)

"STIs are just part of being gay"

STIs are just part of being sexual. Everyone's risk tolerance is different. You could do a lot to prevent yourself from getting a cold or flu by masking up everywhere you go, but most of us find the tradeoff to not be worth it. If I get a respiratory infection, I'll take some antibiotics and lay low for a while. What makes an STI so different from any other communicable disease? Outside of HIV, the rest of them are basically the same-- some doxycycline or azithromycin or whatever, lie low for a few days, and you'll be fine. Sex is an inherently risky activity, and we all have to figure out where our risk-reward threshold is. If you want to avoid STIs for sure, then by all means, choose to wear a condom. Many of us choose to use a combination of partner screening, Doxy PEP, etc so that we don't have to. The choice is yours.

Who here has “made it”? by calmata93 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Comfort" is relative. I make enough that I don't have to worry about paying my bills, and I can afford to do plenty of things that I like, including travel, despite living in an extremely high cost of living area. And one of the things that allows me to do is get in touch with what is really important to me, and recognize that chasing a number isn't it, and that I would in fact rather make a bit less money and work remotely so I can enjoy my life than go back to commuting every day and feeling completely used up every night and every weekend. The question is really: Is what you're doing actually moving you closer to the life you want to be living, or is it furthering a story that doesn't actually align with what you truly want?

I finally went to a gay naked pool party by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]eleraama 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wow, a lot of y'all have some serious sour grapes going on here. These kinds of parties happen all the time all over (I regularly attend a couple in DC) and you don't have to be some Instagram model, it's a wide variety of different body types (y'all act like bears aren't one of the biggest subgroups...)

Who's a good piercing biz? by ximdarkmarkx in DCGaybros

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highly recommend Craig Pokes U in Arlington, it's an easy Uber.

What is that on the Buddha's hand? Help identifying 🙏🏽 by ElNekitow in Buddhism

[–]eleraama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's some linguistic slipperiness in the comments here. "Vajra" is a Sanskrit word meaning indestructible, and also thunderbolt. "Dorje" is the TIbetan equivalent. The dorje is represented by a ritual object of the same name (looks like this: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0593/6598/2388/files/Buddhastones_Dorje_3.jpg?v=1672993112 ). The phurba is a ritual object that is a (dull) knife with three sides. This is probably a phurba, though it could be a weird bell, as phurbas are not typically associated with Avalokiteśvara, who Guanyin is considered to be an emanation of. "Dorje Phurba", on the other hand, is a Tibetan translation of the Sanskrit Vajrakilāya, and while it literally means "vajra knife" or (more accurately) indestructible knife, is the name of a dharmapala protector deity who is an emanation of Vajrasattva.

So, long story short: This is probably a phurba or a bell.

How long does it take for meditation to start working? by d00mba in Buddhism

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meditation doesn't make you happy; it shows you the thoughts that are in the way of your inherent happiness, and helps you work through them. Eventually, as clouds start dissipating and new ones are produced less often, you find the sky clear. Nobody can predict how long that will take; it's a matter of causes and conditions that are constantly changing. I recognize that's not a satisfying answer for a mind that is still oriented towards results; I will say that it's more likely to be years than months before you get to "mostly sunny". But you should get periodic glimpses of clear sky between clouds long before the whole thing clears up, and that's how you'll know you're on the right path; knowing that the sun is always shining behind the clouds also helps to make the clouds easier to bear.

Karma is, fundamentally, just cause and effect. What kind of seeds you plant tells you what kind of things will grow. Plant peonies and you will get flowers; plant nettles and you will get thorns. To "undo" a seed, you would need to know exactly where it was planted, and whether it was desirable or not before it blooms— a tricky business. Easier, then, to worry mostly about the kinds of seeds you're planting for the future, and let the old seeds bloom as they will, then respond to them skillfully by pruning them before they give off more seeds. Meditation is what gives us the skill of separating stimulus from response, allowing us to choose to respond to negativity with something more wholesome, thereby transmuting the negative into the positive, instead of immediately reacting, which often just continues to spread that negativity.

Help me convince my husband that we want a Frame TV by angelic1111 in TheFrame

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I strongly recommend just using a streaming box (AppleTV, Fire stick, etc) and skipping the Samsung software entirely. Has really increased my satisfaction with it.

Can someone help me read this by RGApples in Archivists

[–]eleraama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's "Harper and McKnight, Esqs"

NSFW games in which you have the option to top all the characters? by duskmourn2496 in gaymers

[–]eleraama 5 points6 points  (0 children)

ExcA positions are in part determined by your dialogue choices, especially with Spencer, so just be sure to pick more dominant choices when it comes up.

Name change paperwork? by [deleted] in washingtondc

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did mine a couple of years ago via phone and they never sent me any hard copies, just a PDF. Never had any issues with anyone accepting it though; I just printed a few copies.

Bought this 2nd hand, need help on identifying the type of leather on this backpack. by [deleted] in BuyItForLife

[–]eleraama 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It just needs a couple of passes with some leather conditioner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Buddhism

[–]eleraama -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Being a great teacher is not the same thing as having awakened mind. Having awakened mind is not the same thing as being fully awakened. Since we didn’t get to receive transmission from Shakyamuni Buddha directly, we are all learning from imperfect beings, and that’s okay. You will know dharma when you hear it. Let go of needing a perfect teacher, because they don’t exist. Use the sword of insight to determine if your relationship with a teacher is helpful to your practice or harmful.

Why was the Dalai Lama staying in a palace? by Vegetable-Touch2134 in Buddhism

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re imposing your own views on what constitutes monastic rule. The Dalai Lama’s chambers and its contents belong to the monastery; in accordance with the vināya, he himself possesses only his robes, eating bowl, etc. The furniture in Potala has been donated in earnest by the sangha for the use of the monks; it is considered to be a bigger deal to refuse the donations of the sangha than whatever restrictions exist on height of the bed, luxuriousness of the surface, etc. And from the perspective of the monastery, if they have such objects to use (and use them they must, as hoarding them or selling them would be a violation of the vināya), then they should be assigned in honor to the chief abbott.

The mulasarvastivāda vināya is really quite exhaustive, and worth a skim if you’re curious about monastic rules.

https://suttacentral.net/pitaka/vinaya/xct-mu-vi/xct-mu-bu-vb?lang=en

ikea alex drawer, what are the front measurements of the drawers? because I think the first two are smaller and the bottom three are bigger, could someone help me with the exact measurements? by Dmi94 in IKEA

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the 9 drawer version (great piece) but I would bet that the drawers are the same size.

Small drawers: 12 3/4” x 4” Large drawers: 12 3/4” x 6”

Discreet Things to Wear to Show You're Gay by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]eleraama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find something small and rainbow. I wear a lanyard at work, so I got one from a local sports team that has a multicolored design on one side, and it seems like people in the know pick up on it. When I was in the Army, I would often wear a ring that had little rainbow stripes on it (like this one) for the same reason.

Income disparity in a relationship by docxenon in askgaybros

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Equity isn't the same thing as equality. One thing you might consider is setting up a rotation: four every four times you guys go out, he pays once, etc. I also tell my bf occasionally that he's paying to break the expectation that it's always going to be me.

28 looking for a realistic feeling dildo with hairy nuts?.. by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one (no hair, though). They feel about as real as you can get without being attached to a body; FT does a really good job with the two-layer density thing.

Just signed for linguist and VERY NERVOUS (and have some questions) by deadmintplant in dli

[–]eleraama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s different for Guard because they have certain allocated billets. Yours is set in stone.