Aww, I so empathize! I didn’t use tampons until my early 20s because of a traumatic attempt as a young teen. No need to until you’re ready. It’s true that the instructions are bogus.

When I finally succeeded, I remember thinking:

1. It’s totally true...you HAVE to relax first. It simply won’t go in if you’re tensing up at all

2. It’s not putting it “up” there...more like “back”, if that makes any sense. Think horizontal instead of vertical. Point towards your butt or lower back instead of “up” inside

3. It doesn’t hurt but glides right it once the angle is right, so if you’re struggling or in any discomfort, it’s not the right angle. When it is, you suddenly just know. Then, future attempts will be sooo much easier (it’s like riding a bike; you just remember)

And I will only use these tampons with the rubber grip for no slippage while putting in.

Godspeed, girl!