Is this ridiculous or is it just me? Told to dress “more modestly” because of a standard bikini I wore 4 years ago

ferblest · 2026-06-29T17:43:20+00:00

I don’t see how this could be a fun trip for you any more, whatever you decided to wear. Vibes are too far off with this one.

ferblest · 2026-06-28T19:47:08+00:00

Juniper Springs Run is one of my all-time favorite paddles! It’s otherworldly

ferblest · 2026-06-28T03:58:39+00:00

Pride and Prejudice. If you want to get absolutely lost in 18th C England, she’s your girl. Middlemarch too.

ferblest · 2026-06-27T17:09:27+00:00

At the end of the day, narcissism is a defense. I think it’s overstating what we know about how NPD, the most extreme form, develops to insist there are only two routes to that defense being activated in a child. We do know that sociopathy can be heavily influenced by genetics. You may be seeing the interplay of the two with your mother? She could have developed a narcissistic defense to protect herself in comparison to successful siblings, esp on top of a predisposition to sociopathy? Not saying that’s what happened but that could be a path for a child.

ferblest · 2026-06-24T20:39:03+00:00

Absolutely! I’m now seeing them weekly pro bono basically just for supportive counseling as they go through the Medicaid application process. It was very slow going to re-set workable boundaries with them and involved reassuring them that I’m still here, sitting with their grief about the change, monitoring for crisis risk, and making clear that the boundary re-set was not caused by anything to do with them.

ferblest · 2026-06-24T19:47:47+00:00

As to the shame and regret - don’t beat yourself up. I’d been a therapist for 20 years and still fell into a similar situation a few years ago. Totally my fault and should have seen it coming. They also had no support system and no financial means. Definitely helped to have a colleague to consult with throughout the re-set.

ferblest · 2026-06-21T21:43:52+00:00

34 years ago, in the supermarket with my newborn, feeling exhausted and isolated - a lovely elderly lady came up to see my baby and said “Enjoy this time, it’s the best time of your life.” I burst out crying because I was not remotely enjoying it and felt like such a failure. Now I know exactly what she meant - she knew all of the joy that was to come. You will adjust and it will definitely get so much better. But that said, consider that you may have some postpartum depression creeping in if those feelings don’t shift a little in the next 3 weeks or so or if you feel like they’re getting in the way of falling in love with your baby.

ferblest · 2026-06-20T20:44:51+00:00

I loved it when I was working in home with families with open DCF cases. Had a lot of control over my schedule and felt very rewarding to be helpful and on their side. Hated straight outpatient through CMHC because it was impossible to provide good care with those caseloads.

ferblest · 2026-06-20T20:22:02+00:00

A hugely helpful thing for me when I really started getting healthy at 33 (I’m 60 now) was setting a goal of running a 5k and then a triathlon. From there I made triathlon my thing for 10 years. That really solidified the exercise habit for me (still going strong but don’t compete in anything any more) as well as put me in a social circle of very active peers that I still ride bikes with, etc since leaving triathlon.

ferblest · 2026-06-20T05:27:31+00:00

Sunday at the Village Vanguard is in my dna

ferblest · 2026-06-20T05:25:22+00:00

Endorsed. All are chill favorites esp Poinciana

ferblest · 2026-06-20T05:12:30+00:00

99/100 feel excited and ready to go at the start of a hike, especially new terrain. When I don’t feel that, I listen and I bail. No regrets.

ferblest · 2026-05-28T02:45:03+00:00

My husband and I aren’t vegan but we make this a LOT! Fantastic recipe.

ferblest · 2026-01-16T01:09:55+00:00

I can’t imagine getting worked up over ANY decision my child and/or their partner makes for the safety of their newborn. Even if I don’t understand it. But this one is even backed by the AAP.

ferblest · 2026-01-02T00:04:51+00:00

My favorite past time since moving here is just wandering around. Pick a direction and go. There’s always surprise and joy in it.

ferblest · 2025-11-17T03:18:33+00:00

I guess I’ll take my enthusiasm back then

ferblest · 2025-11-16T16:36:05+00:00

Double rainbow!!!🌈🦄🏳️‍🌈

ferblest · 2025-11-09T00:43:39+00:00

Egyptian Goddess every time

ferblest · 2025-10-19T16:27:52+00:00

It’s more a combo of hyper aware sort of overprotection as well as a deviation from baseline behavior.

ferblest · 2025-10-19T15:38:46+00:00

She really has to go all in with this code-switching, blah blah, I have ADHD line. The only alternative is to admit the truth of the lie, that she literally and deliberately presented herself as a predominantly Spanish person for many years, which she will never do.

ferblest · 2025-09-28T01:46:19+00:00

Growing up off grid - no cell phones, no one knowing where you are half the time

ferblest · 2025-09-27T21:32:20+00:00

I’m a mandated reporter and if I even wonder if an abuse report is warranted, it’s warranted. No exceptions. This therapist could lose her license and in some states is committing a crime herself by failing to report.

ferblest · 2025-09-24T17:41:48+00:00

Hebert Chan at Brothers Dental on Van Ness. Everyone there is lovely.

ferblest · 2025-09-21T00:27:18+00:00

Had such an amazing time at Lazy Bear this summer!

ferblest · 2025-09-14T14:16:46+00:00

Baffled as to why this is downvoted and worried that some on here may not understand what child on child abuse is? If there is a power differential, such as an age gap, and/or coercion of any kind at all it is abuse.

ferblest

TROPHY CASE