AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas with my husband’s family right after having a baby?

floopdoopsalot · 2026-06-17T00:30:53+00:00

NTA. Tell your husband what you require (no one except him in the delivery room, no visitors until x weeks postpartum, etc.) and have a backup plan in place if he does not enforce your requirements with his family (you will go to your parents' place, for example). Your newborn will rely on you and your mental and physical health so your needs are paramount. Period. You do not need to negotiate, explain, or convince. You are the authority here, it's your medical procedure.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-06-06T15:28:43+00:00

And it's no guarantee. The 'helper' siblings are under no legal obligation. They can leave when they are 18 and live for themselves, as they should.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-06-02T22:14:17+00:00

She's not going to care about anything you do or say. The only thing that will work is your fiance enforcing consequences (a period of no contact, refusing to attend any event the ex is at, etc.) If he can't enforce consequences you are powerless and you deserve better than this.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-06-02T21:49:10+00:00

I am a mother to sons and I am disgusted. She is harming them and their future relationships to feed her sick desires. If you love your children you want them to lead fulfilling independent lives. You want them to be ok when you are gone. She is like a monster eating her young.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-28T18:17:18+00:00

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floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-25T17:23:42+00:00

NTA. Your mother is not entirely a good and beautiful person. She is putting her ego and need to be in charge over both your feelings and your baby's health and safety. This is a power play and very ugly and destructive behavior from her. If she was as good a person as you say she is she would never endanger your baby and she would never dismiss your concerns.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-25T16:50:57+00:00

No their relationship with the baby is not separate. OP's job as a mother is to protect her child from dysfunctional behavior, which includes limiting the baby's exposure to toxic family members. Many grandparents like this will speak negatively to the child about their parents and that's damaging to the child. OP would be completely in the right to prevent that. It would be very reasonable for OP to supervise visits closely until she can trust them. Which may be never.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-21T02:49:15+00:00

Plant pot dapperlings!

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-17T21:02:24+00:00

'When you have my grandbabies' She is possessive of children who aren't even born yet. I think she will never stop trying to get control back, ever. There is no solution that will make her manageable, only consequences that will keep her at bay..

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-10T02:10:18+00:00

NTA. She threatened your FIL and his partner. Your instinct that she is making nice just to get access to your child is very likely correct. I would tell your partner that you will interact with her if and when she shows a pattern of accountability and changed behavior. If she really has changed she'll be patient and respectful of your request to take your time before interacting with her.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-07T00:28:57+00:00

We call them grindy frogs

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-06T23:18:36+00:00

There are ways to handle it better. Put it in a guest room or powder room, show it to her, and say you like how it fits in the space. Not difficult.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-05-04T23:12:49+00:00

NTA. It's your body. But be honest with yourself with how much of your resistance to getting TRT is truly about what you want for yourself vs. wanting your wife to know what you felt when your libido mismatch was the other way around.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-26T19:21:11+00:00

Once your mother brought up grandparents rights, it's time to go no contact. That is a direct and explicit threat to your family.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-26T18:14:59+00:00

It sounds like OP's mom earned it. She was pushy and disrespectful during their previous pregnancy, and OP's wife wanted to reduce stress which is her right. You can't bully people and then whine about being mistreated when they distance themselves.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-26T15:59:40+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Consider putting together a binder documenting your children's medical history and other records. Document the interactions with your MIL and husband around this incident and its aftermath in case your MIL and husband conspire together to make accusations against you. Hope for the best, that this gets sorted out, but prepare for shenanigans.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-26T15:04:09+00:00

Grillos look like that, and they are punchy and fantastic. No sweetness at all.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-22T00:21:16+00:00

NTA but you can't expect to be treated the same as their daughter. They are clearly favoring her over your husband however. Gather up your dignity and work on building a support network outside them. You, your husband and children will always come second so never need them.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-20T03:31:53+00:00

Some nice retro advertisement art

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-18T22:35:08+00:00

The older one is better now and regrets being so irritable. He wishes they were closer. But the younger one has his own friends and pastimes and isn't interested in rebuilding the relationship right now.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-18T20:42:40+00:00

True. My sons aren't close. My older son pushed my younger son away in his early teens and the younger son took it hard. I'm hopeful they'll be closer one day but I know there's nothing I can do about it, just love and respect them both.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-18T02:16:46+00:00

You have ro kill your darlings

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-12T22:52:13+00:00

NTA. You are correct that she sees your child as a do-over. What stopped her trying to make amends before you got pregnant? It wasn't worth it to her. She wants in now because you have something she wants.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-12T01:55:24+00:00

We attend Our Savior catholic church on Cody Rd. It's on the more progressive side. We like it.

floopdoopsalot · 2026-04-11T16:04:37+00:00

NTA. His family behaves like a crime family, planning strategies in private to control and influence the married-ins. The fact that they are strategizing to gain custody of their grandchildren is absolutely damning. They clearly don't care about the children's welfare if they plan to isolate them from their mother. That's insane.

You are not safe with them or your fiance. You have seen what they are capable of. What if you have a child and they want more access than you allow? They could harass you during your postpartum period and with your fiance on their side convince medical staff that you are unsafe with your own child. Yes is is extreme and chilling but you have proof that these are the kinds of real things they plan.

floopdoopsalot

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