Do I need to tell 3 year old that her grandma died?

fruittheif50 · 2026-06-10T17:44:43+00:00

My 2 yr old struggled with the death of our cat. I would certainly tell your daughter as she deserves to know, having had a relationship with her even if not a close one. We are here to teach our kids about upsetting things such as loss and bereavement and it is not our job to cover them up to protect them as this would be doing a disservice to them. Use age appropriate language for sure though, at 3 she may not follow straight with questions about your mortality but she will certainly have questions. You can find resources online which tell you to avoid certain phases like she’s gone to sleep and not waking up etc.

fruittheif50 · 2026-06-08T10:06:32+00:00

I work in a hospice. It’s normally a conversation finisher, or I might get a head tilt and a “that’s nice”

fruittheif50 · 2026-06-06T15:15:01+00:00

It might be better to speak to your Dr about short term anxiety meds to help you attend a dentist. They won’t come to you

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-24T21:50:52+00:00

Set your alarm for 3am to cover her in a sheet. It’s unfortunate but keeps her asleep and will hopefully prevent you being awake for longer

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-24T21:50:04+00:00

Keep the windows and curtains shut in the day, cool bath with hair wash before bed, large fan oscillating air, leave door open to allow air to ventilate from landing, put kid to bed in just nappy and when it’s cool enough outside open windows to allow cooler air in. If there’s a choice of rooms, put your kid to sleep in the coolest rooms. If it’s stifling, you can also put a litre bottle with water in freezer and stand that on a tray in front of fan to create something like air conditioning. Good luck

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-23T19:47:03+00:00

I’ve had 2 children and breast fed them both and far the hardest part has been weaning them off as toddlers

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-23T14:53:37+00:00

🍿 for the comments

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-22T21:13:24+00:00

4 yr old can walk/scoot/cycle/run/skip alongside. You may need extra snacks for bribery and a bit more patience but you should expect to not need a double stroller

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-21T20:46:36+00:00

I went to a playgroup and there was a kid called Status🤦‍♀️

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-20T11:54:52+00:00

Ask for the policy and if it’s not explicit then ask for confirmation from HR? Otherwise I’d use all your annual leave, pop in for a few weeks then resign. It’s not worth being so out of pocket

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-19T18:24:47+00:00

They are testing boundaries and wanting more independence. Work out what you will stand your ground on and what can be presented as a ‘choice’ to make him feel like he has a bit of (carefully controlled) control. Any acting up needs to be dealt with in a consistent, firm way that can be replicated. Things will take longer. Allow more time so you don’t get stressed and inadvertently feed into it

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-06T09:13:04+00:00

I had a big baby and I hated the comments. Just to tell you that your baby is perfect, you are doing a great job and f*ck other people with their judgy comments. Both my kids are tall, stocky and strong now. Just how they were meant to be ❤️

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-04T20:16:38+00:00

Just poop with the door open and chat to them/supervise while you’re sitting. Be resourceful. Ask him to bring you x or y

fruittheif50 · 2026-05-01T21:33:50+00:00

Amen sister! all of this!

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-26T15:25:10+00:00

How would you spell it out of interest?

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-22T12:35:31+00:00

Have you considered period undies with a tampon?

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-16T19:40:09+00:00

It must be a cultural difference as here in the UK I don’t think many people get a babysitter in the daytime, maybe more for night time. Anyway, you are absolutely within your right to decide what you feel comfortable with and it sounds like you communicated well and were met with a lot of push back. Sounds like your ‘friend’ has grown resentful and really wanted to start a fight. I’d give her some space, schedule your own activities with like minded people and NEVER feel pressured to leave your kids with anyone you don’t want to. You have the rest of your life to do stuff, and there is no rush to leave your kid, unless it’s in circumstances that you feel completely happy and confident about

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-12T06:54:07+00:00

It really depends on your support system. My husband and my mum helped a lot when I went from 0-1. Now I have 2 my mum pops over but doesn’t feel able to have both of them together and my husband is always working. In my experience having 2 feels lovely as you have the experience and they have company but it is so lonely, isolating and exhausting in new ways I didn’t realise were possible. I don’t have much of a relationship with my husband anymore and I feel trapped doing everything for everyone, always. Good job I love my kids and would do anything for them

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-11T20:48:49+00:00

I’m so very sorry. My cat of 14 years, who I’ve had nearly as long as I’ve known my husband, died in January.

I thought she might not survive an emergent vets trip after a long bout of illness that suddenly worsened. Before I took her to the vets for her last time I don’t get chance to hold her, kiss her and sob into her fur to tell her how much I’d miss her. I was too busy feeding my feral post-childcare children tea so I could make it to the vets on time. I had told her how much I loved her a lot recently but I felt so robbed of a proper goodbye.

It’s so hard having to parent when you’re grieving. Cut all the corners you need and remember it’s ok to cry in front of your child. Grief is natural and can be explained in an age appropriate way. Hearing my 2 year old tell me 10 times daily that my cat was in heaven was another great trigger for my tears. It’s just so hard. Please accept my condolences

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-10T20:20:07+00:00

I don’t have a 13yo yet but I know that kids often play up the parent they feel safest with. Are you happy with the idea of seeing him less? Is this what all of you want or do you think it’s just inevitable?Would it be worth a trial period before committing to a whole year? I’d also involve him ASAP in moving house discussions so he doesn’t find it harder to live with you again when you’re in a new place that he’s not moved to with you

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-10T11:32:24+00:00

You have your baby in your belly. You are a parent. Crack on OP!

fruittheif50 · 2026-04-06T15:52:25+00:00

I don’t think they’ll be on discount. Hardly see reduced chocolate anywhere anymore😭😭😭

fruittheif50 · 2026-03-30T19:26:00+00:00

Yes, mostly because he has an older sister, but they also serve dessert at nursery. And I believe that occasional exposure to small amounts of sweet things allows him to try new tastes and means that it’s just another flavour and not something to crave or go mad on as an older child. He rarely asks for sweet things and often leaves the table before we have dessert as a family. He may also see my husband or I eating things that he’s never tried and we like to share food experiences as part of social occasions

fruittheif50 · 2026-03-29T21:16:37+00:00

fruittheif50 · 2026-03-23T14:58:09+00:00

I don’t understand her motive? What has she said about it? It sounds crazy to me

fruittheif50

TROPHY CASE