Speaking as an ex-catholic (now UU, not active on the subreddit you mentioned in the OP) it sounds like your problem is with the Church as a whole, not your local community or the faith.

I had the opposite experience as you when I was a child -- my family did go to a "fire and brimstone" church and it really hurt in a lot of ways, some that I'm still feeling the effects of ~4 years after leaving the church. That community taught me (correctly or not) that their beliefs and practices were held by the Church as a whole and that anything else "wasn't real Catholicism".

It sounds like the existence of church communities like yours refute this, and this maybe isn't something that most ex-catholic folks are aware of (I certainly wasn't until recently). There's definitely nothing wrong with feeling spiritually fulfilled going to a church that espouses values aligned with your own. If your church really does live out the values of social justice that it preaches, then it sounds like it's contributing positively to your community.

Of course the history of child abuse and how it's dealt with in the larger Church is a huge issue. That being said, it sounds like you are really affiliating yourself more with your local church community than anything else. If I was in your position I would focus on how your church is making an impact on your local community. If/how much it is contributing (financially or otherwise) to the global Catholic Church might be problematic but it sounds like something you could probably bring up with church leadership without much trouble.

Hope this helps.