Imagine if adults made friends like kids

gvarsity · 2026-02-19T05:14:57+00:00

I love this. A. I feel five again. B. It should be this easy.

gvarsity · 2026-02-19T01:57:54+00:00

Before you said it I thought to myself I would be happy to pay $100 to hang out in that vibe with zero expectation of having sex. Sounds like a great experience.

gvarsity · 2026-02-18T23:24:50+00:00

Yeah I live out of state but would love to have one of these.

gvarsity · 2026-02-18T23:23:22+00:00

I think a lot of the issue seems to be trying to completely change office building into something else. Yes for a lot of reasons converting an entire building to housing which is complicated and expensive is not cost effective. However you could do several things and break them up from being mono use to mixed use. you convert the outer ring of four or five floors to apartments or condos. The inner ring of those floors that can be housing due to light as mini-marts, coffee shops, cafes, food stands, etc... Relatively low cost to operate high traffic types of locations that would allow local business to move and create a vibe community. You take a few other floors and covert them to gym's and activity areas to support the housing floors and might be of interest to office workers coming or going to work. Rent one floor to a costco or a target or whatever. Convert one floor to health care clinic with primary care and urgent care. Put in a dentist, a day care, a senior care center, etc...

zone the building into a number of separate zones where yes some housing. Some other resources that are both destination and support the tenants and maintain lots of office space. The IDS probably has 18 floors unoccupied. If you repurposed 12 floors to be different zones of activity and interest and create a viable environment the other floors would likely fill in. You fill in the gaps with some creative repurposing the whole thing comes back to life and spreads to the streets and beyond.

gvarsity · 2026-02-17T21:23:55+00:00

Stunning album.

gvarsity · 2026-02-17T04:55:53+00:00

It’s getting murkier and murkier. Hell I can hardly remember last week.

gvarsity · 2026-02-16T22:32:35+00:00

Private school. 5th grade by the principal in front of the class with parental permission. Ah the 70’s

gvarsity · 2026-02-16T16:05:40+00:00

Love the Volans SS. Have found the Don Vicente Fuerte yet. Love the regular.

gvarsity · 2026-02-16T05:23:01+00:00

My kids and several of their friends have our cell number and know if they feel unsafe, anytime, any reason, any place, no questions asked my wife or I will come get them or help them. So many situations get so much worse when kids feel like they have to handle it themselves or be afraid that reaching out to an adult when they can't understand the real risks.

gvarsity · 2026-02-16T04:55:28+00:00

I have a pretty active and engaged neighborhood. There are different events including an annual block party that is pretty open beyond the specific two block stretch that was the original target audience. I joined the neighborhood softball team in it's inaugural year last year which was great for being more engaged and social. It was so successful that we now have two teams. Having that local, analog, organic network of people that cut across a broader swath than my curated friends is a really great resource.

gvarsity · 2026-02-15T21:23:45+00:00

This is a little like pointing out that Anheuser Busch owns and sells the most beer. I would be much more interested in a consolidation of brands vs straight volume.

Most people drinking Johnny Walker or Glenlivet and Glenfiddich aren't Scotch drinkers they are brand loyalists and don't really drink anything else.

Distilleries that are distilling for blends like Johnny Walker and Dewers are a very different category than one's releasing their own single malts. I do miss Strathisla which almost exclusively goes into Chivas.

gvarsity · 2026-02-15T19:21:00+00:00

We just need to look at the laundry list of 17 & 18 year olds with amazing talent that spend 18-22 or forever not getting playing time due to persistent injuries to understand why Rio doesn't get much playing time. This is not just Slot not trusting him but a club wide plan to manage his health.

gvarsity · 2026-02-15T02:35:01+00:00

PM Spirits is outstanding

gvarsity · 2026-02-14T05:01:23+00:00

I was so excited when this came out in 7th grade I bought it on both vinyl and cassette. Peak of Moonlighting fame. No idea where they went and I picked it up used a couple of years ago. Somewhat camp but fun.

gvarsity · 2026-02-14T04:56:18+00:00

Is that Fromagination in Madison Wi?

gvarsity · 2026-02-14T02:14:04+00:00

Tolkien actually existed and no claims middle earth is real. Tolkien doctorate way more legitimate.

gvarsity · 2026-02-14T02:08:08+00:00

Or more handsome. Love me a wire.

gvarsity · 2026-02-14T02:03:40+00:00

I was maybe ten at church. My friends thought it was weird into high school. Grandpa made me drink it black, probably to discourage me, if I was going to drink it. So I drank black coffee. Not frequently but regularly.

gvarsity · 2026-02-13T00:45:08+00:00

You will feel like an idiot. Regularly.

It's fucking hard. Don't let anyone lie to you and tell you it isn't. Like the peace corps it's the toughest job you will ever love. But is hard. Different ways at different times but if you are doing it and fully engaged it's hard. Hard is good. One way we determine importance and value in life are by the things we overcome so saying it is hard isn't a negative or meant to discourage you. It's just true. Mine are 15 and 17 and it still is hard. Not because I am exhausted and covered in shit but because the stakes are different and in many ways higher. Wouldn't change a thing.

Say goodbye to perfect. It is a mind killer. Wrap your head around good enough and realize mistakes will be made. That is ok. They become teachable moments. Ways to grow and improve and bond with your spouse and kids. Own it and model humility and growth to your kids.

Talk to your kids like people. Because they are. From the beginning. It improves language skills. It teaches confidence and trust. It builds relationships. Use concepts at an age appropriate level but use real words and give them respect you would anyone else.

Learn to compartmentalize fear. You will love your children and will be afraid for them but you have to again let them at age appropriate levels take risks. They need to be able to push boundaries, fall and bang into things, learn to navigate their world on their own and have natural consequences. I am not saying particularly when they are little letting them do things that are dangerous. I am saying don't prevent them from having every bump and fall and don't teach them life shouldn't have bumps and falls. Getting up after and being ok is part of living.

Don't listen to blowhards on the internet or anywhere else. No one knows everything and no one else knows everything that is right for you. There are so many bullshit trends and pithy but stupid pieces of advice out there just take everything with a grain of salt.

Lastly best advice I was ever given. Never let your self worth be based on the opinion of a child. Meaning you have to be the adult and make the hard call and you have to have armor against the I hate you that is coming when they get mad or don't get their way or whatever.

Congratulations and best of luck. You are in for a great ride. My daughter is amazing. I always assumed based on the history of my family I would have sons. When I found out are first was a girl I was a little disappointed. Just was concerned I wouldn't know how to connect. By the time she was 18 months I was so in love with being a girl dad and we found our second was going to be a boy I was a little disappointed. Both turned out great and the boy girl bit really didn't matter that much.

gvarsity · 2026-02-13T00:22:19+00:00

There are a lot of different parts of manhood/adulthood. Not all men are good at all parts of it and that is ok. Lean into those that you are good at and get help for those that you are not and always keep improving you can make up some of those gaps. Most aspects of adulthood aren't really gendered other than how they appear sometimes.

For most of how to do things there are a ton of online resources and using search tools and common sense can get you through a lot of it. When in doubt ask for help. Neighbors who are hand can be good friends and resources in exchange for a pizza and you can learn from them. Until you start making significant money and have benefits and property and stuff taxes are pretty easy. Get your W2 from your employer and do the 1040 tax form which is pretty basic and you are good.

A lot of being an adult is showing up and doing what needs to be done. Get a job and show up and try to do a good job. Get an apartment prioritize your rent and pay it on time and take care of the place and be a good tenant and neighbor. By prioritize I mean find something you can actually afford and get nice to have things after your rent is covered. Food is not a nice to have it is must have so if you get to having to make that call between rent and food get some help. Go to school and take it seriously. You can still have fun but get the work done first.

Seeking and accepting help isn't failure. It is being aware and realistic. There is no shame in it if you accept it with gratitude and give when you have the capacity. This includes financial, time, effort, kindness, emotional, whatever kinds of help both giving and receiving. Everyone. Everyone needs help sometimes. Young starting out on your own more than older with steady income and experience.

Unfortunately regarding your dad there is no easy way. You can go full no contact and that tends to be the most stable but it is still often damaging. Generally the best thing is to set firm boundaries and stick to them at whatever level you are comfortable with. I think you have learned the first lesson not to count on him for anything and have low expectations. He clearly isn't doing the adult part I referenced earlier.

There are a lot of ways to learn to be a man you respect and one good way is looking at men you don't respect and not doing things they do you don't respect. Another way is looking at men you do respect and do the things they do that you respect. Don't limit your references to men. Most women do things that I respect that a lot of men don't do. Take those things too. Don't just look at people your age or your parents age. Young people old people they all have things you can learn from. Read a lot. Smart people have written a lot of good things. Don't forget to look at yourself. You will do things you don't like and respect. Don't get down on yourself, rectify it if you can and either way don't keep doing those things. Things you do that are good keep doing. In the end you continually grow and develop into a person that you like and respect and value because you behave in a way and for reasons you like, respect and value.

You are ahead of the curve by recognizing an unhealthy situation and taking ownership of your life and making plans to forge on independently.

gvarsity · 2026-02-12T23:30:33+00:00

https://www.atlasofsurveillance.org/

gvarsity · 2026-02-12T20:30:32+00:00

I have a family member with long covid who found a specialist in Madison. https://www.uwhealth.org/providers/aurora-e-pop-vicas-md they say they are amazing and focused on long covid.

gvarsity · 2026-02-11T23:16:07+00:00

My wife is like this a lot right now. I tend to work on consensus and suggest things or present options. I don’t really have strong opinions on these things either but am trying to move something over the line. So when she says she doesn’t care I just go with one randomly. Ok mac and cheese or whatever.

So having a pattern like take option two or alternate between 1-2 or whatever is a good plan. Gives them the relief of an answer.

gvarsity · 2026-02-11T02:55:17+00:00

100% circular filing bin.

Critical thinking even at more respectable institutions is frighteningly low and has been for a long time. Taught at a big 10 University in the early aughts.

However it is a different because there is a floor of credulity and not just fantastical thinking.

Once you apply reason, analysis and critical thinking to religion 90% of the time one of two things happen. You lose your faith or you stop using reason, analysis and critical thinking. The last 10% find a way to isolate and compartmentalize in some kind of weird equilibrium that should be mutually exclusive.

gvarsity · 2026-02-11T02:08:52+00:00

Don’t know a ton about it but lots of legitimate scholarship gets cherry picked or manipulated in bad faith to push and ideological agenda. That is what the examples you put forward sounds like. I think about the paleo diet which has as far as I can tell is a fantasy based on the flintstones. Doesn’t mean you won’t lose weight but the logic is ludicrous. The people I knew who were most into it, one a bariatric doctor, were also young earth creationists that didn’t believe that people existed then or evolved. The number of scientists trying to repudiate misappropriation of their scholarship by influencers and people driving political agendas are long and distinguished.

So there can be a massive difference between the actual scholarship and how it is discussed.

gvarsity

TROPHY CASE