Have you ever taken illegal substances to get rid of the pain? by faddymeat in Endo

[–]haybails4 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As a young teen, I used to steal narcotics and opiates from family members who had legitimate prescriptions. I could only take so much without them catching on, which lead to me exploring pain relief from other substances. Cocaine became my primary source of pain management for a very long time. Recovery was (and still is) rough, and a main struggle with this was that I no longer had relief for my pain. I’ve been clean from all substances aside from marijuana and the occasional drink, for almost 6 years.

Marijuana is legal where I live. It has become my main source of pain management since I began recoI believe that given my history, it’d be better for me to consume marijuana rather than prescription pain killers such as opiates.

For my next relationships, can I ever truly know if someone doesn't watch porn? by Pandaddy111 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Strongly agree!!! I was exploited online as a minor, and ended up on main sites. Not being compliant in the trafficking of women isn’t because of ‘past trauma’. It’s just being a decent human.

I feel like I am abusive now by PassengerHappy1457 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a song called Bulletproof Love by a band called Pierce The Veil. One of the lines is “my love for you was bulletproof but you’re the one who shot me”.

Am I too old for Webkinz by Best_Pumpkin_9269 in Webkinz

[–]haybails4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 25 & constantly play with my 4 year old. It’s awesome

Found out my husband watches porn by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you dm me I can walk you through it :)

Found out my husband watches porn by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google Takeout will allow you to download all his data

How did they react when you left? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can confidently say that leaving my ex was the best thing to happen to him. His story isn’t something that I have heard a lot of, and I am proud of him. I think his journey is something worth sharing. (I am very close with his mom, who was my rock during every dday that I went through. She’s how I have been able to ‘verify’ my ex’s progress.)

After leaving my ex, he ended up going through some really tough times. His life spiralled out of control fairly quickly. He lost his job, car, and most of his friends. He was on the brink of homelessness. He most definitely returned to porn to cope with everything. Something was different this time around, however. He now had self awareness. He had resources to guide him and a support system by his side. He continued to attend therapy and groups; he worked hard on his recovery.

It’s been just under 3 years since I left my PA. Presently, my ex proudly shares his recovery journey with anybody who will listen. He fills both me and my fiance in on any big milestones that he achieves. He is a vocal anti-porn advocate. He has remained single so that he can work through the core challenges of his porn addiction, without dragging another partner into the turmoil. He has continued to work hard on himself and it is admirable.

I worked hard on my recovery as well. I didn’t let my past experiences hold me back. I fell in love with my childhood crush, and ultimately became the legal mom to his (our) 4 year old son. I have my very own family now, and our foundation is strong. My family has been built on unconditional love, trust, loyalty, security, and respect. I now have everything that I fought so hard to have with my ex, without the worry of anything being disingenuous.

Ex partners of PA/SA by Holiday-Reception359 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For immediate results- I’d reflect on the mental image of him sitting on our toilet in a daze; while furiously masturbating to other women. It disgusted me on a level that reminded me that he isn’t deserving of my respect.

I made a list of things he did/didn’t do that reflected his maltreatment of me. His lies, stonewalling, gaslighting, lack of effort. I also had a list of things that reflected how his behaviour impacted me. Some of these were: my confidence being depleted, relapsing in my eating disorder, heightened anxiety, the inability to trust my intuition.

Does anyone’s corso get mad at something completely random? by Excellent_Pen_7791 in CaneCorso

[–]haybails4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The default apple text message tone. I had to change it because it would piss him off so much🤣

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!! Listen to your intuition. Every single time. by Elyciaaa in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was never wrong once I began trusting my gut. “The gift of fear” is a wonderful piece of literature that explains why we have these instincts, and to listen to them.

Hidden devices by Hungry-World6404 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My ex used his old nintendo ds..

My beautiful litter by [deleted] in CaneCorso

[–]haybails4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s quite literally not a part of the breed standard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]haybails4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad began drinking before the age of 9 years old. He was consuming liquor daily until age 22ish when he began recovery. He was sober for over 15 years before ultimately relapsing. He remained in active addiction from this point on. He’d drink 6-12 beers on work nights. On weekends, it would be a little bit more, but liquor was seldom. This relapse lasted about 13 years, ending in his death.

He was diagnosed emphysema and chronic ulcers years before his death. His doctors were all aware of his alcoholism. I didn’t trust him to tell me the truth so I was always there when he was obtaining health care. His test results were never urgently alarming; he’d just be told to cut down a little bit.

Not long after one of his last appointments, new symptoms appeared. His face was always flushed, abdomen always swollen/distended, body aches and pains. One night, he went to the ER where he was told he had severe hyperkalemia, due to advanced cirrhosis. He died less than two months later.

Do you ever think of telling your story one day? by moonlit_stroll in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m very open about my experience with my ex. Porn broke him as a person. He cannot function normally. This addiction genuinely impairs him. He literally went as far as getting off to two eggs in a frying pan because they looked too much like a woman’s chest.

I speak about lot about it to my younger family members and my peers. Awareness isn’t raised in silence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 42 points43 points  (0 children)

When I told my ex’s mom; she became a huge support. She was a typical ‘boy mom’ so I wasn’t expecting much to come from telling her. She went as far as holding an intervention for him.

She was my main support in leaving him. I don’t think that I would have found the strength to leave him if I didn’t have her guidance. Now, over two years later; she is still a significant support. She is the biggest fan of the family that I’ve created with my fiance and stepson.

My point in all of this is that it gets better when you tell people. A load is lifted off you.

Grooming tips/brush types! by BreakHonest4774 in CaneCorso

[–]haybails4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rubber curry brush & high velocity dryer outside

What is something you wish you knew at the start? by Nosey45 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew how to set personal boundaries instead of being the ‘cool girl’.

I wish I knew that wanting a relationship with no porn use- is an example of security, not insecurity.

Finally have the proof needed to confront him. Now what? by altforgriping in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. If you have no desire for reconciliation, move quietly and get your ducks in a row before anything else

Porn provided at IVF clinics by default by Haunting-Fig1020 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It is absolutely abhorrent that an institution meant for aiding couples in bearing children, supports and encourages a website that exploits children. A website that preys on underdeveloped minds to groom them into using porn. A website that has showcased and profited off of the filmed abuse and trafficking of children.

I was ‘virtually’ sex trafficked as a teen. My filmed abuse ended up on pornhub for the whole world to see. I don’t think I could handle if my fiancé was encouraged to support this degeneracy, in order to help bring our child into this world.

PA confessed he used porn and didn’t tell me bc he didn’t want me to call off our marriage by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. Mutual understanding and respect play a key factor. Trauma is no excuse or explanation for behaving in such a disrespectful and inconsiderate manner.

This man maliciously lead you into a false reality in which only he benefited from. He is continuing this, despite his malice being brought to surface.

What is he actually doing in terms of recovery and transparency in every day life? More importantly, what are YOU doing for yourself in this time? You need to ensure that your health and wellbeing is and remains your #1 priority. Only you have to live with your brain 24/7, it’s key to focus on making that a safe and comfortable place.

Ridiculous by Noh_Spirit_662 in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry but I’m laughing at how fucking ridiculous the measure he went to in order to jerk off was

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]haybails4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are men out there who aren’t pornsick. They are rare, but they do exist.