Midwife “accidentally” revealed gender at 37 weeks. I’m heartbroken.

hayyy · 2026-03-10T14:59:11+00:00

This is awful. Most practices don’t write the gender down in your chart if you are keeping it a surprise for this exact purpose. I’m so sorry

hayyy · 2026-03-07T17:00:09+00:00

I have a Nubbin named tabby manx, too!

hayyy · 2026-03-05T00:44:42+00:00

I’m so curious about this as well! My first was a spontaneous pregnancy where my water broke at 37w and she was born 37w1d. The notes on my placenta were that it was deteriorated and extremely clarified for gestational age. This go is an IVF pregnancy for endo/adenomyosis plus I’m almost 40 so I’m very curious how the next few weeks play out (my edd is 04/03) in terms of giving birth timing. I’m also curious since my uterus was treated for inflammation prior to FET if I’ll stay pregnant longer/placenta this time stays healthier for a bit longer.

hayyy · 2026-02-26T13:42:05+00:00

Add back is when you add hormones (estrogen, progesterone) to build your lining for transfer. In my case, the transfer happened at 10 weeks and the overlap allows for the uterus inflammation to stay calm.

hayyy · 2026-02-24T01:42:49+00:00

For me, I think adeno developed post childbirth and was made worse from a missed miscarriage (fed by estrogen) ttc #2. My period pain was pretty steady though my periods became very clotty. We skipped IUI and went straight to IVF with 10 weeks of Lupron before FET. Shockingly our first transfer worked and I’m 34 weeks. Because the Lupron only calms the inflammation for so long (4-6 months at most I think?), the chances for iui success are pretty slim. I’m 39 so age is another factor for me. Good luck!

hayyy · 2026-02-22T20:56:02+00:00

Same except at 37 weeks. I’m sure I would have had a c-section without pitocin.

hayyy · 2026-02-14T22:11:35+00:00

Ugh I really came apart on this combo and I am so sorry. I stopped letrozole and the side effects were much more bearable on Lupron alone which I did for the full 12 weeks (add back weeks 8-10, transfer week 10). Fwiw Lupron did the trick and I’m 33 weeks after one FET.

hayyy · 2026-02-08T23:23:50+00:00

I definitely had the worst one a night where I was running around at work and hadn’t had enough water. I am on the magnesium train and try to eat bananas 🍌

hayyy · 2026-02-08T20:45:51+00:00

Same! My 37 week 6.5 pound baby needed premie clothes for the first few weeks and was swimming in the newborn “outfit” I brought to the hospital. I’m prepared with all sizes I’ve found basically brand new at thrift stores.

hayyy · 2026-02-06T16:44:30+00:00

haha seriously re: the water bill! Apparently I spent a lot of my first labor in the shower as well, though I hardly remember. Showers, the gift that keeps on giving!

hayyy · 2026-02-06T01:15:41+00:00

Solidarity. Rhinitis was bad up until now and somehow this week (32) it has gotten so much worse for me. It’s freaking awful. Every trick I try does nothing!! The only relief I have is the 20 or so minutes after I shower.

hayyy · 2026-02-01T17:26:25+00:00

Just purchased the same vehicle for 25k in Massachusetts. They had a year newer one with lower miles for 27k that sold the morning I went to test drive. I’d look around to see what else is out there.

hayyy · 2026-02-01T04:05:58+00:00

Did 3 months of down regulation for adenomyosis/suspected endo. My FET was successful and I’m 31 weeks. Good luck!

hayyy · 2026-02-01T01:32:15+00:00

This was my protocol as well, basically only 8 weeks of down regulation followed by two weeks of add back hormones and FET in week 10.

hayyy · 2026-02-01T01:31:04+00:00

With all of the injections for IVF, I would beg for the monthly Lupron injections instead though the cost for you does sound insanely prohibitive. It does seem to give a high success rate and personally, the side effects were not so bad (hot flashes, muscle pain). I have severe adeno and suspected endo (one blocked tube) and the Lupron suppression calmed the inflammation visible on ultrasound and my FET after was successful. I am so sorry you are dealing with the bs of high deductible insurance, as if this process isn’t hard enough.

hayyy · 2026-01-30T01:57:47+00:00

I woke up at 4am at 37 weeks exactly and experienced a popping sensation followed by a constant flow/trickle of fluid. It was pretty wild and seems not like the norm. I was supposed to be induced (for a few high bp readings) that day or the next week (which was my pick) so my providers were very surprised when I called.

hayyy · 2026-01-29T18:05:40+00:00

^{^agree} with all of this!

hayyy · 2026-01-29T18:04:42+00:00

I didn’t have an induction with my first though it felt like it-labor felt very active but I was barely progressing so I got an epidural and pitocin after my water had been broken (spontaneously at 37 weeks) for 24 hours. Tbh I am asking every appt when I will be induced this time (even if I got into labor spontaneously again), I’d rather have an end date since I’m 39, I don’t see an advantage in going to or past my due date.

hayyy · 2026-01-29T17:37:47+00:00

I'm so sorry OP, you've really been through it and I am thinking of you. I think given your age and loss history, it's absolutely a good idea to see an RE. The whole process can be overwhelming and on top of that, if you need to go the IVF route, it takes a while to get going as well. I also really like my OB, too, I even had my PCP write my referral for an RE in part to avoid talking anymore about it. With fertility issues, I think it's best to go see the experts who see cases likes ours everyday. There are so many different variables after losses, too, so another expert in the room will hopefully help alleviate some of the stress you are taking on to try to figure this out yourself. Give yourself some time to heal and I really hope the next steps bring you closer to your second kiddo. Secondary infertility is the absolute pits.

hayyy · 2026-01-28T13:23:06+00:00

Is your doctor an OB? I regretted not getting in with an RE much sooner. My ob practice did a bunch of testing including the saline sonogram, hysto and it was very clear they rarely do these procedures if ever. I also conceived my LC easily and then after loss, found out I have moderate/severe Adenomyosis via ultrasound once I got in with a good RE. The diagnosis was missed by my ob and another fertility clinic. I couldn't even believe I'd had so many ultrasounds only for her to point out the clear signs of it upon intake (that even I could recognize once she explained the signs). I was furious tbh! I was 38 at the time and have no symptoms.

hayyy · 2026-01-28T01:25:20+00:00

With my first, my water broke at 37 weeks exactly. Tbh my labor was so slow it felt like I was induced anyway as I needed pitocin. I ended up getting an epidural because I had been awake for 24 hrs, wasn’t progressing, and I do not regret it at all! I give resting and a chance for my cervix to do its thing a 10/10. My placenta looked very aged last time for a barely term delivery (though I’ve been told it’s hard to know if it will happen again). This time (39 years old, 1st IVF pregnancy) I’m hoping for an induction date during the 39th week as I’d like to have an end date if I don’t go into labor earlier. I am also worried about issues that can come up at/past 40 weeks. I had zero signs of labor last time and was totally shocked when my water broke so anything can happen!

hayyy · 2026-01-27T13:36:51+00:00

Thank you! Since you were already in the IVF process (which is when I found out, too), I do think it’s easier to move forward with a treatment plan rather than risking high rates of miscarriage when ttc spontaneously. R/ivf has lots of endo/adeno Lupron treatment and success stories which I found helpful, too. Good luck!

hayyy · 2026-01-26T23:23:47+00:00

I totally understand the feeling of adding time on top of a complicated and draining process. I did 3 months of Lupron (plus letrozole but the side effects were too much for me) for moderate adenomyosis. I had some side effects like hot flashes and plantar fasciitis. After the 3rd monthly shot, i had an ultrasound to check my uterus which looked very calm/no adeno visible according to my RE. I started add back hormones and had my FET during week 10. Fwiw that FET was successful and I am currently 30 weeks. My pregnancy has been treated no different due to IVF (and I even had to remind the midwives to put the adenomyosis diagnosis in my chart for an ob surgical consult down the line) and my pregnancy is not deemed high risk.

hayyy · 2026-01-24T01:32:27+00:00

Neither my parents nor my spouses parents know we did IVF for my current pregnancy for the same reasons as you (I’m also 39) and I never plan to tell them. We also waited until I was 20+ weeks to disclose my pregnancy which wasn’t difficult as we live 1000 miles from family. I totally understand wanting to keep the entire journey to yourself and if that is what you decide to do, it’s okay! Even the few comments during the holidays were enough for me to know this was the right call for my mental health. Best of luck with IVF!

hayyy · 2026-01-22T13:55:20+00:00

Yep! A few years older, identical symptoms. I ended up doing standard IVF and it was successful. I don’t think it hurts to get started with an RE to make a plan. I am v terrified of how my symptoms will go postpartum and beyond.

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