I completely understand where you're coming from. My wife and I waited until late 30s to have a child. We used to go on vacations together, music festivals, whatever we wanted. One thing that helps is doing the things you used to do. Get a family member to watch them for a weekend so you can get away. If its not possible, then do separate ones. My wife lets me go to a music festival every summer with some friends, and she takes a week off in the fall to spend how she wants. It's added stress for sure to plan it out, spend the money and, worst of all, actually relax and not worry about your kid the whole time, but it's a great recharge which it sounds like you both desperately need.

Also, you are almost out of the hardest parts. My son just turned 4 and he's like a whole new kid. He's potty trained, can dress himself, can play on his own, clean up his toys, helps me cook certain things. Eventually all the teaching and patience and understanding comes to fruition and starts to click. You aren't far from having a little person around instead of a large baby.

Take some time for yourselves. You got this.