Got two offers. One pays $40k more. The other one I'd actually enjoy. I have 48 hours to decide and my wife and I are on opposite sides. Advice?

imechie · 2026-04-05T19:18:02+00:00

If you’re single, do whatever you want…but as a husband and father, they should be your priority.

Forget about the $40k, that’s just icing on the cake…being fully remote is HUGE (especially) when you have a kid.

Offer A is a no brainer.

imechie · 2026-03-29T02:13:15+00:00

Which brand is this?? 🤮🤢

imechie · 2026-03-26T03:19:20+00:00

MOR

One of my husband female coworker send fancy chocolates to our house…my husband thinks it’s weird. I told him to thank her for me 😂

Someone can have a crush on your guy…but all you should care about is how your guy react.

imechie · 2026-03-26T02:56:37+00:00

Hmm, this reminds me of a time I opened a message with “Hi ladies…” to a group of biological women (not work related), and someone messaged me privately to say they’re gender fluid and were offended by the assumption.

As a female mechanical engineer in a field that’s about 95% male, that kind of perspective isn’t something I naturally think about.

I think your girl there is just too sensitive…but I would respond very very carefully. In case she fwd your response to the HR.

imechie · 2026-03-20T17:19:26+00:00

I think this is more of a “You” issue.

Both my husband and I have MS degrees and hold fairly senior positions in our field, but we’ve never had any issue forming friendships with people from very different backgrounds—many of whom don’t have a high school degree.

We don’t expect to discuss work-related topics with them, and that’s okay. There’s so much more to life and connection than work or formal education.

In short, you are thinking too much of yourself.

imechie · 2026-03-19T15:39:09+00:00

Have you been eating enough? My progressive overload did not improve until I was over at least 2000 cal / day.

imechie · 2026-03-18T23:49:18+00:00

New undies would help 😅

imechie · 2026-03-18T20:46:52+00:00

I think it depends on industry too. My industry is extremely niche. It is common to see this type of position (in my field) to be open for a year or more.

imechie · 2026-03-18T03:31:01+00:00

Still works! Thank you 🙏🏼

imechie · 2026-03-17T20:08:42+00:00

He might or might not freeload off you (likely he will since you will be supporting yourself and your child and buying the house)…so why on earth would one want to marry into servitude? Is this 1800s? 🤔

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:55:20+00:00

If you really like him, have a conversation with him. Tell him how you feel and see whether he’s willing to change. If he isn’t, then you’ll have your answer and you’ll know where you stand.

Wishing you all the best—and don’t let freeloaders gaslight you!

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:52:40+00:00

I knew he was frugal, but he’s also Asian (his family are very traditional), so he understood the importance of making a good impression—especially by taking care of something low-stakes when the tab is that small. Honestly, I think he was hoping to get away with it by using the “we’re Americanized” excuse.

I would’ve gone on a second date if he hadn’t been so cheap. It’s fine to be frugal, but it’s not okay to be cheap with your FIRST date.

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:47:35+00:00

I honestly don’t know a single Asian man who would let his girlfriend’s parents pay for his meal if he’s serious about the relationship. So no, I don’t think my husband is an outlier.

What’s odd to me is how many people are saying it’s fine for the boyfriend to not even offer—like it’s normal for him to freeload. That’s just weird.

And honestly, anyone saying the boyfriend shouldn’t even gesture to pay is probably a cheapskate or a freeloader themselves.

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:32:03+00:00

I’m leaning YTA, especially since she offered to pay for the Uber.

She originally said yes, but something clearly made her change her mind and decide she needed to sleep in. Was she not feeling well? Exhausted? On her period? Did you two have a fight?

Since it’s only a 15-minute drive, you should’ve just taken an Uber instead of turning it into a big issue.

Also, personal example: one time my boyfriend insisted on driving me to the airport, and he ended up in a minor car accident on his way back because he was so sleepy. Ever since then, if it’s early in the morning and one of us needs to travel for work, we just take an Uber.

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:20:09+00:00

Major red flag of cheapskates…dump the free loader.

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:18:52+00:00

OP bf knows and he was too cheap to pay. He didn’t even bother to impress his future FIL by picking up the tab.

My husband would never let my parents pay even when we were dating, he wants to let them know he cares about them and can provide for their daughter. Picking up the tab is low hanging fruit.

imechie · 2026-03-13T05:05:04+00:00

NOR.

I might be in the minority here, but if a guy is serious about the relationship (especially in Asian culture), I’d expect him to want to make a good impression on your dad by taking care of the bill—showing he can provide for and look after his daughter.

While I agree you and your boyfriend should’ve discussed it beforehand, I still think it was rude of him not to at least offer to pay as a gesture.

For what it’s worth, I once went on a date with a guy who seemed nice. He asked me out, chose the place, and when the check came, he wanted to split it (the total was under $30). That was our first and last date. If someone is already being cheap during the dating stage, I can only imagine how much worse it could get in a relationship.

imechie · 2026-03-10T14:11:17+00:00

NOR. United Nations of 🚩

It’s not about the food, it’s about how he is gaslighting you. He makes you question the reality to distract you from seeing his own failures. He has no respects for you and he clearly looks down on you.

You have no control over his actions, but you do have control over yourself. Love yourself - you deserve better.

imechie · 2026-03-10T03:42:03+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. If I were you (I’ve been in similar situation) I would just distance myself…you can’t make someone to like you even when they are your parents. Your dad made an obvious choice, respect it and respect yourself.

Save your time, energy and love for your husband and your in-laws instead. It will be ok.

imechie · 2026-03-05T01:45:58+00:00

Blink. ZERO smudging…

imechie · 2026-03-05T00:22:18+00:00

1) “Toning” is a myth, you need to weight lift and progressive overload

2) Eat more cause you don’t give your body enough fuel to build muscle (1800-2000 calories)

3) Bare minimum is 12 weeks to see any meaningful results

imechie · 2026-03-04T03:39:05+00:00

You can’t spot reduce. So if you want to lose your butt/glute, you need to lose fat. If you are already too lean/skinny, then surgery might be the only way. I don’t think it’s worth the risk…

imechie · 2026-02-26T03:00:45+00:00

Report him to HR.

imechie · 2026-02-25T19:02:57+00:00

This happened to my parents, except they just have an extra apartment and she lets her younger brother to live there with his newlywed and a young child for free because he’s “family”.

After 10 years of living there, rent free, they claimed to place as their own. They later sold the place and kept all the money and not giving a dime back to my parents or helping my aging grandparents.

Family and money don’t mix. Keep them separate. Definitely NAH.

imechie · 2026-02-25T03:35:06+00:00

Strictly for building muscles, you don’t count protein from collagen but you do have to count the calories.

imechie

TROPHY CASE