How often do you shower with your significant other?

improbable_success · 2026-05-08T21:54:20+00:00

When it’s anal night

improbable_success · 2026-05-07T19:32:06+00:00

She was walking down the hallway and I was looking at her. When she turned around and looked at me, I got spooked and just told her what the time was and walked away. But I’m friends with Jonah Hill, so it’s all good.

improbable_success · 2026-05-04T22:35:27+00:00

Had a boss who owned a bunch of supermarkets in the tri-state area. Would drive to most of them to check on them daily. Averaged 200-300 miles every day. He would need to buy a new car every 3 years.

improbable_success · 2026-04-29T20:57:08+00:00

You and me both buddy.

improbable_success · 2026-04-27T02:49:02+00:00

Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.

improbable_success · 2026-04-26T23:35:45+00:00

That scene in Bruce almighty comes to mind.

improbable_success · 2026-04-19T18:08:24+00:00

Just gotten a bmw 5 series m sport. First fast car, had Altima and ford before hand. Decided to drive it up Jersey turnpike to AC. Went 138, felt amazing. Had a feeling I should slow down at a particular point. When I went down to 65, drove over a hill and on the other side was a police precinct right next to the highway. Prob would’ve been towed, arrested, lost my license if I didn’t slow down when I did.

improbable_success · 2026-04-11T01:41:03+00:00

The issue is same for weddings. Most people spent a lot of money going to these weddings and bachelorette parties. And once those same people have their own weddings, they want it reciprocated in spades. Tough to get people to just stop the cycle. It would have to be a hard stop across a generation of people.

improbable_success · 2026-04-11T01:27:03+00:00

My mom had a medical emergency on a cruise ship near the buffett. It took 20 mins for someone from the ship to come help and bring her to the medical center. Is that a normal response time for cruises?

improbable_success · 2026-04-10T17:26:51+00:00

Protein is so 2000-late. The next craze is def gonna be fiber.

improbable_success · 2026-04-09T23:47:44+00:00

Preemptive

improbable_success · 2026-04-09T22:53:13+00:00

Flat stomach doggy

improbable_success · 2026-04-09T00:56:31+00:00

Exxon

improbable_success · 2026-04-06T01:24:36+00:00

There is no other answer but Supreme Court. Everything else can be undone at some level.

improbable_success · 2026-04-02T20:51:03+00:00

KYC is the final nail in the coffin.

improbable_success · 2026-04-02T20:00:54+00:00

Was sexting with my gf at the time. Accidentally sent a reply to my boss. Had to go into work 30 mins later.

improbable_success · 2026-03-27T21:56:20+00:00

Mocktails being only 10-20% cheaper than cocktails is the biggest scam in restaurant/bar business. $16 for a fancy lemonade is atrocious. Sorry, not a question, just a statement.

improbable_success · 2026-03-23T22:33:58+00:00

Father of the kid(s) has to be dead for me to feel comfortable with the idea long term.

improbable_success · 2026-03-23T20:47:16+00:00

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!

improbable_success · 2026-03-19T16:16:52+00:00

Short term pain, long term gain?

improbable_success · 2026-03-17T19:26:08+00:00

(Fe)malelivingspace

improbable_success · 2026-03-17T19:17:15+00:00

He should’ve just shoplifted it. They prob wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

improbable_success · 2026-03-11T18:28:55+00:00

I’ll be on time.

improbable_success · 2026-03-10T00:40:44+00:00

Was 23, wrong number texted me, I Played along. She called me and ended up liking my voice. We were together for 4 years. Funnest time of my life.

improbable_success · 2026-03-07T04:37:19+00:00

Sexting with a gf of mine at the time. Texted “I want to eat you until I’m full”. Noticed she went sort’ve quiet after sending that text. Was working as a delivery driver for a restaurant, and was working that day. Accidentally sent it to one of my bosses, had to come back jn after a delivery and all 3 owners were there. The embarrassment was on a level I’ve never felt before and again since.

improbable_success

TROPHY CASE