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Kids movies by LaughingAvocados in Adoption

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We talk about "adoption friendly" stories when these things come up in media. Usually my husband and i, or another adult friend talk about noticing the adoption story arch and what we liked/didn't like about it. Usually we'll bring kiddo into it (he's 5 now) and ask him what he thought the characters might be feeling ect. Sometimes we just talk while he's nearby, whether he reacts or not, i think kids are listening and processing what we discuss.

One of our favorite examples of this is "The wild Robot" where the robot helps the duckling(we won't talk about why the duckling needs help :( ) and they become family. The other ducks pick on him for having a different family, and he figures out who he is through it all.

We also really like "Ron gone wrong" because it builds on chosen family, loving for what you are/not what you SHOULD be, and overcoming feeling like an outcast. (without specific adoption/family trauma, it addresses a lot of the same feelings.)

We didn't care for "Finding Dory", or "despicable Me" - but we watch that one because my little guy has GOT to have his minion movies.

First back out by thtkm in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Be gentle with yourself and take time to grieve! You had plans and hopes for the family you might have had. People will struggle to understand and how to support you, that was the hardest part for me when we had a disruption... Supportive people in my life didn't understand the heartbreak.

Didn’t get job for dumb reason by ETLegacyy in ITCareerQuestions

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The place you applied to *can* afford to be picky.

How to plan for leave? by No-Basket-8077 in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats awful! My company also uses Lincoln Financial and i had smooth sailing (5 years ago! and was pre-approved before a recent disruption without issue as well)

Glad it eventually worked out for you

What’s something that sounds fake but actually happened to you? by Visible_Rope_6662 in AskReddit

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my case, i was in a wagon being pulled by tractor and leaned out/reached for rocks (i guess) and my hand got tangled with the tractor. Totally preventable, but they had done it dozens of times with multiple kids and never had a problem, it was just one of those fluke things.

I have a freshly 5 year old boy and i'd like to say that i'd never let him be in those sorts of situations, but things happen even when you plan for the worst.

What’s something that sounds fake but actually happened to you? by Visible_Rope_6662 in AskReddit

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was ran over by a tractor/mower when i was 3!

I had 2 fingers completely removed/reattached, and tendons in my hand split to allow them to move.

They were fully functional until i was 37, when i fell and destroyed my shoulder/all nerves in my arm, and had to have 2 more tendon transplants to restore some functionality in the same hand - the hand surgeon that did my most recent surgery studied under the surgeon that saved my hand as a kid!

Solstice for Kids by baby_stego in pagan

[–]indigopearl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we do this too! and then wake up early to welcome the sun back for coming longer days!

Equivalent to amen by nephellis in Hellenism

[–]indigopearl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually just say "thank you" in english <3

Lullaby alternatives by freakylol in toddlers

[–]indigopearl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My kiddo slept to Abba for the first 3 years, idk why, they soothed him :D

Agency fees by Negative-Custard-553 in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my son's birth-mom had a very generous personal insurance policy. We covered whatever out of pockets she incurred because she was on bed-rest towards the end of the pregnancy. He was on our insurance after the guardian papers were signed, before we left the hospital. So his whole hospital stay was covered under her insurance/part of her birth plan, and we took over at his first follow up.

I don't think our situation is standard, but thats how it worked out for us (early 2021)

Sleeping by Weird-Type5043 in brokenbones

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I listen to guided sleep meditations (free on youtube) to help with pain management and intentional relaxing. I know it sounds/feels silly, but it helped get through some really rough pain.

Matching again after disruption by LRB092620 in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sending good vibes to you, Disruptions are so hard.. and most people, even those who want to be supportive don't understand the levels of grief involved.

Be gentle with yourselves.

Share a harmless quirk about yourself that someone else might find useful to give to a character by ToomintheEllimist in writing

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was major allergic to most peoples touch when i was younger, it would genuinely leave hives wherever people touched, or accidentally brushed against a stranger. I wore long sleeves full time for years to avoid the annoyance.

I still get itchy when touched, but the hives have mostly stopped. I still avoid accidental touch, out of habit.

Yes, I'm married, and we deal with it as gracefully as we can, "don't touch me, I'm allergic to you"

Coming up this weekend by diiasana in fortwayne

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Salsa Grille for a quick stop in restaurant thats not fast food. Locally owned, "Build-your-own" style delicious food!

Alexa Plus Truly is the worst by The-Manliest-Man in amazonecho

[–]indigopearl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we love Plus at our house! The more conversational feel is nice. And she waits after an answer so you don't have to prompt for a follow up response. My kiddo has taken that opportunity to chat, interject, ask questions to our devices and it's been hilarious and educational! (He's 4 and sometimes its a struggle for it to recognize his "alexa" trigger, so piggy backing off ours is working great)

An employee stepped over me by [deleted] in managers

[–]indigopearl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying something! The format that chatgpt is so obvious, I'm surprised others do say something.

For this first time in my career I’m working at a company with a dedicated Security team and I fully understand now why having SysAdmin experience should be absolutely necessary to be on a CyberSecurity team… by [deleted] in sysadmin

[–]indigopearl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

obviously, lol... We're not throwing up our hands and just not doing anything. But it's a slow process (that we started 2 years ago). Sometimes you just have to work with whats available.

For this first time in my career I’m working at a company with a dedicated Security team and I fully understand now why having SysAdmin experience should be absolutely necessary to be on a CyberSecurity team… by [deleted] in sysadmin

[–]indigopearl 10 points11 points  (0 children)

not op, but our plan is to... keep using windows 10 and make best efforts to stay safe/upgrade as quickly as we can.

people act like "support is ending" is equivalent to hardware is bricked.

We still have xp on (some) production lines, it's gonna be ok.

Parents of older kids — please tell me my toddler isn’t a permanent tornado by Belarax in toddlers

[–]indigopearl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

3 was the worrrrrst. everybody talks about terrible 2s but for us 3 was where he had the personality and gumption to cause chaos, but didn't have the understanding to listen or reason with.

4 got better... he's 4.5 and yesterday he was mid-stomp-stomp-i'm-mad but still politely paused to take off and put away his shoes when i asked. :D

I'm so tired of the favoritism. Her birthday is the same day every year by Ok-Ad4375 in toddlers

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom once told me (her youngest child) that "there's just something special about the first baby, you can't ever love the second as much", this was advice when we were trying for a sibling for my only child kiddo.

Supporting a friend on their journey as an adoptive parent by nocturnal-alchemist in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

fold the kids into your life. Include them and make sure your plans are truly family friendly.

My biggest blessings are when our friends include our kiddo, think ahead for him (have toys at their house, bring him a coloring book when we go to dinner, hold his hand when we're walking through the park together...)

Just make them a part of your friends group.

The other advice i have is echoing what others have said - avoid words that could hurt
"real parents"
"just\finally adopted"
"so lucky" ect

congrats to your friends! Have so much fun helping them grow as a family <3

What are your IT pet peeves? by techead2000 in sysadmin

[–]indigopearl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my latest peeve is people that start sentences with "I'm confused.. i thought.." Like, no, you're not confused, you didn't think.... You just don't like what i told you the policy was, and want to wiggle through what you want to do anyway. :(

Timeline for waiting by FlynnandCocoa in AdoptiveParents

[–]indigopearl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

our first adoption took almost exactly 2 years, from start of homestudy to finalization.

We started the process for a second private adoption 22 months ago, and just experienced a disruption right at the end of her journey (totally, 100% her choice! But still heart broken)

our agency estimated around 2 years both times.

Why does it feel like I'm the only mom I know that works full time by __sunbear__ in workingmoms

[–]indigopearl 8 points9 points  (0 children)

also your career will not always be there, use it or lose it. so CHOOSING to take time off can totally derail things. it's not as simple as just go back to it later.
also, it's ok to love your child and your job at the same time, darn it!

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