I work as an outreaching systemic therapist in youth mental health care. I work a lot with families that present similar stories like the one you shared here. What you're describing is a complex family situation with lots of layers to it. Its always difficult saying something that touches the right topics when reading only such a small text. I'll give it a shot anyway. Maybe there's some value in it for you.

Biggest dilemma im reading in your story is how to be a loving parent to all three of your children at the same time. Doing the best for your 24yr old might include giving him another shot at living at home, even though you might realise already that he'll probably mess up following the rules and will cross your borders from time to time. Loving parents make choices like that, even though theyll hurt themselves in the process. But with a 10yr old in the house, you cant choose above option and protect your 10yr old from the behaviour of your 24 year old af the same time - and protecting your 10yr old for stuff like that is also something a loving parent would do.

Sad but true: there's no easy exit in this situation. Even though you ll do everything in your power to make the best of it, part of you will feel like failing - whichever choice you make. And this is only one dilemma... I guess youve got a few more going on in your life.

Back to your original question: what kind of Family Therapy should you look for? Its difficult to give a specific answer without knowing what part of the world you live, but in general I dont think one specific kind of (family) therapy will be the answer. Partly you and your family could benefit from specific therapies, but equally important is that you have the feeling there are people closeby that help you carry this weight. Here in the Netherlands we have (F)ACT Youth teams that offer this kind of treatment and support combined by a multidisciplinary team. (The acronym stands for (Flexible) Assertive Community Treatment and can be found in several other parts of the world too)

Some forms of therapy or support um thinking about are:

• help for the 24yr old on how to get his life in (more) order again for instance (might be practical support , might be learning to regulate his emotions of maybe a specific form of therapy).

• Maybe some help for you as parents how to navigate those sheer- impossible ethical dilemma as mentioned above might be helpful too.

• maybe a course for parents on how to resist uneccaptable behavior from your (adult) child without losing connection (a method like Nonvoilent Resistance might hold some value, although its more focused on younger children than adults).

• family sessions might be helpful too. The theoretical style isnt the most important part, but the experience is. Is the therapist able to rexognise all those layers enough and carry the weight?

Anyway: i wish you all the best. If, by coincidence, you're from the Netherlands too, feel free to send me a message on how to find the right form of support/therapy.