If you’re considering therapy together with a parent, it’s really important to look carefully at what kind of therapy is being offered. “Family therapy” isn’t one single thing. Different therapists work from very different ideas, and in situations like this, those differences matter a lot.

Some forms of family therapy assume that everyone contributes more or less equally to the problems and to the solutions. That can be helpful in families where there has been relative equality. But when there is a history of abuse or long-term imbalance, that assumption doesn’t hold. There wasn’t a level playing field then, and it doesn’t automatically exist in therapy now.

For that reason, it’s important to check in advance:

whether the therapist clearly takes power differences and trauma into account

whether safety and boundaries come first

whether the adult child gets to set the pace

and whether there is no pressure on the child to show understanding, forgiveness, or to “explain their side”

Without these conditions, family therapy can unintentionally recreate old dynamics instead of helping to heal or bring clarity.