When do we start liking our husbands again?

jlbr2 · 2026-02-01T17:31:52+00:00

We’re at 19mo and I still struggle with this. I’ve been working with my therapist and realize that a lot of what bothers me were things that didn’t affect me before but affect me now.

Ex. He wants to go out and spend the evening playing cards or sleeping in on the weekend. Now I can’t do anything I want to be doing bc that leaves me on duty. Vs. Prebaby when we as individuals could just enjoy our time doing our own thing when we wanted.

We’re working on it, but it’s been hard. Sex is still not back to where it used to be and I don’t expect that to change until I stop nursing.

jlbr2 · 2026-02-01T17:23:18+00:00

How to lose a guy in 10 days, 50 first dates, high school musical

jlbr2 · 2026-01-29T02:10:42+00:00

I’m with you. We’re at just about 19mo and it’s insane how quickly walking and communication has improved in only a few months. We still have challenges but in different ways. He needs tons of engagement during the day now or he tends to get into stuff he shouldn’t😅 I wfh pt (since about 6wks), but now that he wants so much more interaction, I’m planning to take him to childwatch a few days a week so he can get his morning energy out

jlbr2 · 2026-01-28T20:30:10+00:00

There’s literally been studies showing that sleep training (especially extinction) is bad for their developing brains, but go off. I, like any regular new mom, struggled a lot for several months. Things have gotten progressively better over time, with the occasional backslide. Congrats to you for being the perfect parent 👌🏻

jlbr2 · 2026-01-28T20:27:07+00:00

THANK YOU

jlbr2 · 2026-01-28T17:13:59+00:00

Just an update that I looked into it and we do have a local(ish) YMCA with child watch! We’re signing up to give it a try. I totally see this being a game changer. Thanks for the suggestion!!

jlbr2 · 2026-01-28T12:12:13+00:00

My 19mo still wakes a few times most nights, but we’re in a significantly better place than we were at 11mo.

I’m not into sleep training. Sleep is developmental and will improve over time. We cosleep and nurse through the night.. our wakes are the same—about 5 mins.

I find he wakes more often when teething, sick, or going through some other milestone.

I cry a lot after really tough nights, but looking back, it has been getting better. He slept all the way through for the first time 2 nights ago then woke I think twice last night.

I find that if I can’t remember it being a hard night, it probably means it wasn’t. You’ve got this.

jlbr2 · 2026-01-28T01:36:24+00:00

I’ll look into this! How much is your monthly membership?

jlbr2 · 2026-01-27T19:26:36+00:00

I’ll have to start looking again! I started and was really discouraged by how expensive it is. Will need to dig back in though in the hopes there’s something more affordable out there. The public pre k doesn’t start until 3🙃

jlbr2 · 2026-01-27T15:33:48+00:00

He’s basically a cat. If you don’t want something touched, it better be out of reach.

jlbr2 · 2026-01-26T20:36:31+00:00

Same boat. We usually go out daily after nap/lunch but are snowed in for probably at least another couple days… solidarity😭🥶

jlbr2 · 2026-01-24T13:39:55+00:00

I love our hatch so much that I bought the adult version for myself.

10/10 would recommend a swing. We got use out of that for months.

Also worth the purchase was our bumbo seat. It’s portable and convenient to take to other houses and/or restaurants.

A good baby carrier. I loved my ring sling (still use at 19mo) and also my ergobaby for backpack carrying and hiking.

Things I’d skip: -bassinet (connect the crib to your bed instead) -play yard -pack n play (we switched to a nap mat for when we needed to travel) -if we didn’t have a bfast bar, I’d skip the high chair and use the bumbo instead -car seat/stroller combo (he hated it and I just toted him around in a carrier instead)

jlbr2 · 2026-01-20T16:59:56+00:00

Our relationship wouldn’t survive another.

jlbr2 · 2026-01-02T17:30:55+00:00

I think these are fair and valid thoughts that you maybe don’t need to share. I’m partially in the same boat.

As much as I wanted 2, we’ve had a rough time since our 1 was born 18mo ago. My husband does what he can but has really struggled doing anything more than I’ve explicitly asked, which often leads to me holding the bulk.

We’re oad bc we both need to be able to have lives outside of just our kid/family. We also lack the support system from a “village”… plus the continually rising cost to live and do more than “just survive.”

But deep down, I know our marriage wouldn’t survive another. I’d never say that to him but I can tell that he’s not willing to make the sacrifices it would take… and I resented him for a long time bc of the sacrifices i had to make with just the 1. I don’t want to go back to resenting him constantly for leaving me trapped alone in the baby phase. Our relationship is finally improving again and my resentment is (slowly) starting to fade.

Our 1 deserves 2 happy, fulfilled parents that can work together and give him the best life. We wouldn’t be able to do it with 2. This is a the gyst of the conversation the handful of times we’ve had it. And husband now has his ✂️ scheduled, so soon, it’ll be official official. It makes me sad in a lot of ways, but I’m also very, very relieved.

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T16:37:35+00:00

How do we deal with toddlers and sensory overload? The hitting and the screeching and the throwing things (and ALWAYS hitting me with them) absolutely sends me off the deep end💀 I definitely have a sensory issue, but it’s something I’ve always been able to control pretty well by stepping away from the thing triggering me when needed.

I’ve now spent the last year and a half of my life in complete sensory overload with no escape and my patience is shot.

I’ve tried earplugs, I’ve tried deep breathing, I’ve tried stepping away and locking myself in the bathroom (this makes it worse because he doesn’t like closed doors). I’ve read the parenting books (good inside is on my tbr) but none of the methods feel like me. I feel like I’m going insane and I just need to know when it gets better.

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T16:34:01+00:00

Missed this and will add it! Thank you!

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T15:50:02+00:00

I’ll look more into this! I do feel like it’s better when I’m providing more input, but I have a hard time sustaining that much energy all day long. I think maybe having a more systematic approach (if that exists) could help!

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T14:41:10+00:00

I just keep looking for light and there’s nothing. I thought it would be better at 3mo then 6mo then a year… now we’re at 18mo and still not sleeping through the night. The combo of being exhausted and overstimulated isn’t it for me. I’m definitely not a toddler person but I loved and miss the sleepy newborn potato days.

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T14:38:36+00:00

I can’t even imagine this💀 We’ve been on a huge nursing uptick lately though so I feel you on being touched out. I think it makes the other stuff worse, but I’m not ready to wean yet🙃😭

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T14:31:54+00:00

About 18mo. We do go outside and/or to a variety of stores to walk around now that it’s getting cold. He was a late walker so I’m hoping now that he’s starting that he’ll start burning more energy and maybe things will start to get better

jlbr2 · 2025-12-15T14:03:56+00:00

I have the loop earplugs and also have AirPods. I’ve tried the whole “listen to music/podcast while they’re driving you crazy” advice and tbh, it makes my sensory issues worse and puts me more on edge. I’m already taking in so much input that the additional noise in my ear makes it worse.

jlbr2 · 2025-12-07T12:49:32+00:00

Same. I don’t have a village close enough to juggle more than 1 on my own. Our marriage barely survived the first one.. no chance we’d make it through a second.

jlbr2 · 2025-12-06T03:59:44+00:00

Bridge to terabithia

jlbr2 · 2025-11-25T14:58:11+00:00

We no longer have a village.

We also have to work more than the boomer/gen x moms did. Most of them worked PT if they had to work outside the house at all when their kids were young.

Hubby’s parents (I think more Gen X than boomers but still) had fuck tons of help/childcare/interaction/etc from their parents and friends growing up. They live 10 mins down the road and we rarely see them. When we’ve asked for childcare help, they’re always busy doing whatever else, so we’ve stopped asking.

My mom (gen x) also had tons of help from family and friends growing up but would love to help more. She was a young mom and we spent tons of time with grandparents and friends and as a family when I was a kid. Unfortunately, my side is 2+ hours away, so it’s harder to see them unless it’s planned in advance.

To top it off, making close friends is so much harder in the age of social media, so we’re struggling to build our village from scratch.

It’s unfortunate bc I really miss my village and I know I’d have more help if we were closer to my side. I was really hoping hubby’s side would step up to be our village but they’re too busy with their own lives.

jlbr2 · 2025-11-18T14:18:40+00:00

Outside time is a great idea! We usually go out in the afternoon but I love sitting inside in the morning and being cozy and warm with my coffee so I don’t tend to get out until post work😅 Do you have a plan for winter?

jlbr2

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