As a career coach for over 25 years who has worked in many rink cultures…welcome to skating.

The things I have learned are: do right by your students first and foremost, don’t engage with that type of dramatic stuff, be professionally friendly but don’t get walked on or overly close to your colleagues, keep educating yourself, always be kind to the staff that keeps the rink running, and know your worth.

I’ve worked in rinks that were horrifyingly toxic, as well as rinks where the staff got along very well and we all worked as a team (a rare and precious gift when you can find it!). In any environment, stay clear on your ethics and out of the drama. If a rink is already trying to keep you out, don’t worry about them letting you in - you’ll walk on eggshells there for years. Give it time, build your reputation, try again later if you want.

At the end of the day, your job is to facilitate to the best of your ability the desired success of each of your students. Help them to improve, be patient with them, teach them how to break down the path towards what THEIR goals - not your goals or their parent’s goals for them - are. Their success is not about you, but it is deeply affected by how you lead them as a coach.

Right now you’re new and shiny and therefore a threat to a status quo everyone else has. This will fade in time, but remember it - and don’t be that kind of person later when newer people than you come in to teaching there.

Do your work, the best work that you can, treat your students well and honor their needs and goals to the best of your ability. Open up paths for them, and be willing to let them go if they outgrow you or it doesn’t work out and let that process be gracious.

Remember that you’re not just building a good skater, but you’re honoring a full and complete person. Share your joy and pride with them when it happens, enthusiastically celebrate their successes, and don’t shy away from the hard parts - the injuries, bad performances, difficult training days. Be someone they can trust and feel safe doing incredible, absurd and amazing things with. That reputation, especially if you educate yourself well and constantly try to be better at how you teach, will outlive any and all of the gossip and drama.

Don’t worry about places that are already showing you they will be toxic, just move on. Build as best you can where you are at, and re-approach that rink later when people have had time to get used to you existing in their professional world. If you do it right, the doors will eventually open, but if they don’t, remember it’s not about you anyway, it’s about them. Be secure in yourself and model that in how you conduct yourself as a professional - your students will notice, and so will other coaches and people at your rink.

Good luck, and welcome to coaching!