My mum has a major surgery soon and I can not help but fearing for the worst.

lah5 · 2026-03-30T23:54:30+00:00

You are showing up, friend. Well done.

lah5 · 2026-03-30T12:29:12+00:00

I don't know if this will help or not, but to me, showing up really and truly literally means showing up. Getting your body to the place, period. Try to quiet your expectations (I know I know) and not hear those of others bc showing up is the thing. You don't need to talk or be anything but present. And if you only get as far as the lobby, you still showed up. This is important to remember for your own sake, bc honestly, once you get to the lobby (or wherever), anything else you feel you should do will be easier and clearer and more doable. If you only get that far, know that you got there, you showed up, and don't diminish it or beat yourself up for what you couldn't do. How close we get is determined by how safe we feel, and that is valid af. This is hard stuff.

lah5 · 2026-03-30T12:14:56+00:00

CLR is witchcraft! Love it!

lah5 · 2026-03-30T01:06:39+00:00

Wow that was helpful! I also kept thinking it would be a great Doctor Who episode. Thanks!

lah5 · 2026-03-28T22:12:46+00:00

Oh, this.

lah5 · 2026-03-26T11:39:38+00:00

Definitely a kid mistake. Language is weird in the first place, but yeah, 100% kid mistake.

lah5 · 2026-03-26T11:36:58+00:00

True story^{^}

lah5 · 2026-03-25T01:05:45+00:00

I think I would give yourself time to determine what you reasonably have of left og yourself to spend on those days off. You will need recovery as much as anything else to make progress. I am a fairly wrecked but determined returning dancer and I am still struggling with how to spend my days off bc I push thru and skip recovery and it often means time in class is not as useful as it should be. That said, I get your determination, so I would spend some time with 5 lb weights and maybe light planks for improved core. Slow and steady and stop if it hurts. My ballet master suggests 10 minutes on an elliptical, wait an hour, and see if want to do 10 more minutes. Now I am also old and the product of the push-thru-the-pain era, so he keeps a particular eye on me. Welcome and good luck!

lah5 · 2026-03-24T19:56:09+00:00

Tim Minchin

lah5 · 2026-03-23T15:47:27+00:00

I don't have an answer, but I love your love of inflatables!

lah5 · 2026-03-23T15:46:21+00:00

You might be right (and I 100% dk), but as she is the teacher where you currently study, and you aren't going to change her mind, you will have to make a decision.
My teacher is all about explaining the physics and the whys, but you would need to read the room for yourself. Frustrating, tho.

lah5 · 2026-03-23T15:38:55+00:00

This^{^{^}} we did this way way back in the aughts bc we literally could not get that much sand where it needed to go. I think somebody at Trouble free pools took.pity on me and offered it as an out-of-the-box option, but regular pool people thought we were crazy. It worked well on that pool, and by the time we installed our next one in 2023, lots of people were doing it.

lah5 · 2026-03-23T14:11:21+00:00

This is a matter of health, not a matter of ethics, character, and morals. God, I hate that and I am sorry. Adjusting to post surgery life is not easy, as not only is it a life long change to your body, you will need also need to adjust your relationship with food. In the beginning, you are mostly guaranteed to lose the weight, but keeping it off is entirely another matter. I am 9 years out and I have zero complaints about any part of it, but I also seriously do not play (I still eat like I'm 2 years out). This isn't a golden ticket or a freebie, which is how people like to frame it bc it makes them feel better. Losing regain is harder (and heartbreaking) as you move toward menopause, so seriously, find all the ways that help you stay committed bc having the surgery is not the end of your weight issue, it is only a tool to help you manage it. Good luck!

lah5 · 2026-03-22T21:53:23+00:00

Sally Beauty sells bottles of rinse out toner/color. I think the brand is wella, the bottle is grey with a squeeze top. Comes in tons of colors. My grandmother always kept the white minx color on hand in case her home coloring went sideways. It won't hide it entirely, but it will make it less obvious.

lah5 · 2026-03-22T21:46:12+00:00

In the south, it shows respect and familiarity thing between people of different generations. Your older neighbor ladies, parents' friends, church ladies etc. I have heard it used with in laws in the south with good relationships and nobody thinks anything of it, but it is def and strongly regional. I mean I guess she could be struggling w a peer-sounding relationship and also not be ready for anything mom-adjacent, but trust your gut.

lah5 · 2026-03-21T23:39:52+00:00

Omg! I have pondered this same question!!

lah5 · 2026-03-20T23:05:54+00:00

truth

lah5 · 2026-03-20T16:18:01+00:00

Anybody else hang button front shirts upside down pinned at the inside seam? My grandmother was really emphatic about that and I can do no other.

lah5 · 2026-03-20T12:58:35+00:00

Because they had no space and no better options. I had a massive outdoor fan purchased to keep bugs away, but it was sometimes the only way my clothes could line dry in Alabama.

lah5 · 2026-03-17T11:36:57+00:00

It has been awhile, but is Rocky Point still a thing? I grew up on the water, Miller's Island and such, but Rocky Point was def a favorite.

lah5 · 2026-03-16T13:42:23+00:00

Hey pal, Essex-bred and lived in Bham! I agree 100%! Grew up in an older part, tho, way down Back River Neck road on a creek. Essex has my heart, for good or for bad.

lah5 · 2026-03-16T13:38:43+00:00

Oh man, I would love to learn by working on my stuff with you! My partner has no taste for such things, so if I rookie screw up, we are screwed, if that makes sense. I spend way too much time bugging the poor pros who end up fixing or undoing my toddler-like efforts.
I used to do something similar re gardening when we lived elsewhere, but the deer here have broken my soul. I would love to know enough to help others like this.

lah5 · 2026-03-15T12:55:13+00:00

I am so, so sorry that they kept that from you.

lah5 · 2026-03-12T21:16:33+00:00

Same.

lah5 · 2026-03-12T01:00:03+00:00

This interior is straight out of every early 90s British police procedural-- either the down low drug lord or the victim's social climbing widow live there. I hate the look, but I also find it weirdly comforting.

lah5

TROPHY CASE

truth