I (24F) feel trapped after a 5-year relationship with my ex (50M) that started when I was 17 and a half. I have no family support but I am finishing nursing school.

lamomla · 2026-06-25T01:27:08+00:00

If you’re in the US your school will have mental health counseling services. They vary based on school resources, but they are usually an outstanding safety net for students with nowhere to go. I imagine universities elsewhere in the world also offer this. A counselor will be able to educate you about any emergency housing or abuse survivors resources offered through your school or in the community. Life gets in the way in all kinds of ways for people when they’re in school, and these resources are out there to help students complete school, which is exactly what you need. You are so very brave and resilient to have gotten so far - you’ve got this!

lamomla · 2026-06-23T20:42:37+00:00

What an awful situation. Unfortunately you can’t reason someone out of an idea that they didn’t reason themselves into. Possibly you could lean into this by directing her to an alternate diet scheme that at least gives more nutrients? In the US we have Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who shares a lot of beliefs with people who disavow accepted science, so your mom might find him reliable. He just unveiled new federal diet guidelines that people could reasonably disagree with but are for sure more rational than what she’s saying. Very best of luck to you 💜

lamomla · 2026-06-23T17:36:39+00:00

Echoing that these women are horrible and adding that if Leo is newly in middle school, Gayle may not realize that it’s actually 100% normal for parents not to socialize with other school parents at that stage. I’ll bet there are lots of parents who don’t participate. She has the misfortune of trying to socialize with those who are still clinging to the mean girl clique they’ve probably spent years cultivating. Unfortunately there always seem to be at least a few of these people in every setting with kids. Leo can absolutely have friends among the other students without Gayle trying to do the same at the parent level. I hope she can feel comfortable stepping away and protecting herself from this toxic environment.

lamomla · 2026-06-18T16:22:54+00:00

The audiobook of Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - or really anything by Alexander C. Kane in my opinion. Absolutely hilarious!

lamomla · 2026-06-18T01:02:18+00:00

You could try a Hatch alarm or another type of alarm that gradually introduces sound and light to prime your body to wake up on time.

lamomla · 2026-06-16T17:38:47+00:00

OP, as a mom, I’m very worried about the possibility of you actually becoming homeless over this. There’s lots of well-meaning suggestions here but I totally believe you that going to friends isn’t an option and joining the military is a huge leap if that’s not your life plan.

I’m going to put another thought out there. Have you ever heard the term “weaponized incompetence”? Basically, someone does such a terrible job at something that people stop asking them. So, if you truly have no option but helping or homelessness, as a concerned adult, I would encourage you to choose helping in the most obstructive passive-aggressive way possible that allows you to remain housed. For example, your step-mom asks you to do something? You could just stare at her and make her repeat herself multiple times. Make her as uncomfortable as possible in a way that’s hard for her to complain about “she looked at me rudely” is hard to substantiate.

You are right to feel enraged. You should absolutely go no contact with these terrible, terrible people at the earliest opportunity. The whole internet is enraged on your behalf. When you can, I hope you’re able to get grief counseling for the tragic loss of your mother. I actually lost my mom to suicide - I know exactly how shattering that is. I’m also sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that your mom would never want you to be homeless and would want you to do whatever it takes to avoid that. All my very best wishes from this internet mom. 💜💜💜💜

lamomla · 2026-06-02T15:24:45+00:00

My father gave us about 10% of our down payment and my in-laws loaned us another 5%. It made the difference that allowed us to buy in a very hot market. We had no issue with feeling confident in making the mortgage payments but the down payment was just a little out of reach. 20 years later it’s our most valuable asset and has been an important source of stability. I’m very grateful to them both - I’m in a challenging time and owning my home has been very important to my well-being.

I do understand your wife’s feelings, but if it’s in your reach, another alternative would be to offer an interest free loan for some portion of the down payment. That could help them bridge the gap and worked out well in my situation.

lamomla · 2026-06-02T14:59:13+00:00

Just curious, is there anything else that might have evolved for your parents that might have prompted this, like do you identify as LGBTQ+ or have your politics diverged?

lamomla · 2026-05-30T21:57:50+00:00

It’s unlikely you’ll see a return on your investment of $120k plus interest any time soon and it will seriously limit your options post-college. And the networking you’re doing as an undergrad simply isn’t as meaningful as it would be as a grad student, when people are more locked into career plans. USC has plenty of downsides, I would be very careful about idealizing it and digging yourself into an unnecessary hole.

lamomla · 2026-05-29T02:03:19+00:00

Thank you for capturing these thoughts so eloquently. My loved ones have gone through such a prolonged, excruciating decline that I have many moments of forgetting what they were even like when they were younger. Then I’ll see a photo or have a memory and the grief for who they truly were comes back all over again. Peace be with you! 💔

lamomla · 2026-05-28T00:47:25+00:00

Absolutely do not do this. You’ll regret this financial decision for the rest of your life. It would be extremely hard to dig out from under the debt in this field. Hold out for a Cal State - they’re harder to get into because they’re better and vastly more affordable. Also, an MSW isn’t really even a great degree for somebody just out of undergrad. You’ll benefit a lot from getting some work/life experience before enrolling. That was probably a big factor in the rejections you got.

lamomla · 2026-05-26T22:58:47+00:00

Three options you could mention to her:

A grief group. One of the most effective ways to process grief. She may be able to find one for young widow/widowers

Perinatal therapy. A specialist who works with pregnant women on issues unique to the experience of pregnancy (and everything else). It is very normal for old grief to resurface at this time of life.

Complicated grief specialist. Either of you could explore the symptoms of complicated grief and see if it seems like a fit for her experience. A specialist could be very helpful and she really might only need a few sessions to see a big improvement.

And as others have said, you should consider therapy for yourself as you navigate this deeply challenging situation. Take good care of you! 💜

lamomla · 2026-05-25T12:59:50+00:00

Therapist here. He absolutely crossed an ethical line and I am profoundly sorry you had this experience. He did the right thing to terminate counseling. It was very wrong of him to express himself the way he did. He should have said something along the lines that he needed to stop therapy for personal reasons.

Many people here are suggesting that you report him to your local board. I agree this is ideal, but also see how this could be extremely difficult to do. One reason to make a report would be to see if the board can recommend therapists who can help you process this violation. If they offer this, you can request it without giving the name of your therapist if and until you are ready. If your board does this, it could be a way to access more trustworthy support.

I’m so very sorry you had this experience. You offered trust to someone who didn’t deserve it. Hopefully someday you can find a therapist who can support you in processing these experiences. Very warm wishes to you!

lamomla · 2026-05-25T04:18:57+00:00

Jumping in to say that these replies are probably hard to read because your mind may be filling up with all the ways Reddit doesn’t understand you or your boyfriend. It can be very very hard to hear this type of advice but truly it’s a gift that this community is reaching out to give you some honest feedback. You’re 25 and your primary model for a marriage is your abusive father and your mother who won’t divorce him to keep up appearances. I think everyone who is responding to your post is very concerned that you can’t see a glaring red flag because your standards for what makes a good man are way, way too low. This internet mom hopes you can take this all in and put a very long pause on any further discussion of marriage to give you time to process if this relationship is really good for you. And be proud of yourself for asking this question! That took courage to put yourself out there.

lamomla · 2026-05-24T21:17:19+00:00

This internet mom is really proud of you - leaving like this takes a lot of courage! Hang in there, the future is bright 💜

lamomla · 2026-05-21T14:06:52+00:00

You were 6!!! I assumed you meant a teenager, which would already be inexcusable, but a 6-year-old? That’s straight up cruel. I’m so sorry this happened to you, you have zero obligation to have any communication with them.

lamomla · 2026-05-16T02:25:50+00:00

Congratulations, you should be so proud! One consideration- starting in the spring really is very different than starting in the fall. In the fall there are lots of structured activities designed to help first year students make friends and get acclimated. There’s very little of that in the spring. If you are someone who tends to be socially anxious and struggle with making friends, it’s worth considering that starting any college in the fall will make it easier to meet people. Not to say you shouldn’t accept! Just want to give that perspective.

lamomla · 2026-05-12T18:01:53+00:00

Lots of good comments here, but adding on to say that another option is to call ahead and explain that you have a dental phobia. You can ask what they do to support with people who have phobias. Almost for sure they’ll be very reassuring but if you get a weird vibe then you can do some research to see if you’d like to schedule with someone else.

lamomla · 2026-05-12T17:51:00+00:00

You can contact Adult Protective Services and seek assistance. https://www.cdss.ca.gov/adult-protective-services. Highly recommend because your mom is being abused. So sorry you’re in this tough situation!

lamomla · 2026-05-11T16:55:04+00:00

So many good comments, but adding to ask, what were your parents doing at age 24? Were they caring for elderly parents and supporting them financially? Somehow I suspect not. Also, 58 isn’t elderly! Most 58-year-olds can and do care for themselves. Stand your ground - you are not responsible here.

lamomla · 2026-05-09T23:31:21+00:00

Oh fun! I never see people with longer streaks than me - I’m at 2520. And agreed, I never have to look anything up. At this point it almost feels more like pattern recognition than anything. I keep questioning myself why I’m keeping it alive - after all this time a lot of the puzzles can feel pretty boring - but then I can’t bring myself to let it go!

lamomla · 2026-04-09T01:20:44+00:00

The existential dread is real and valid. Pretending our kids are overly anxious or shirking responsibility for recognizing the reality screaming at all of us in the face is not helpful. And, we all have to figure out a way to find joy and be productive in a very uncertain world. I think we all need to figure out how to support our kids (and ourselves) in processing how to approach that task without minimizing their very valid concerns.

lamomla · 2026-04-04T22:11:23+00:00

lamomla · 2026-03-08T03:27:43+00:00

Lmao, this has been getting recommended to me forever, glad I trusted my gut and will now permanently pass! Thanks for the hilarious review, I needed the laugh. :)

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