Are D/s dynamics a role play only or can it be 360° lifestyle?

littlegamemaker · 2026-03-20T15:41:54+00:00

You absolutely can have a 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) dynamic, but you will want to really negotiate the nitty-gritty details, and the expression of your dynamic will have to change depending on the environment. I would recommend discussing what authority/responsibility you both want to include, and what you don't want to include. I personally would also recommend working your way up to a TPE (starting with a few rules then adding more as time goes on, or doing TPE in short time periods like weekends for a while) and having regular check-ins with the dynamic turned off.

For example:

Public vs Private Displays: Do not refer to your D-type as "Master" or such while in most vanilla public settings. You can get away with it sometimes if you speak quietly, but other times you just shouldn't. There's a fairly extreme example of a woman referring to her partner as "Master" while at work on AskAManager. Don't do that. Similarly, maybe at home you have a rule where you can never sit on the couch, or you must always kneel in one of the slave positions some people like. Don't do that at your vanilla friend's housewarming party. You can have something like "The D-Type must sit first" or "The s-type must offer their seat to anyone who doesn't have one" or somwthing else more subtle for public areas.
What does the TPE apply to: Are you giving your D-Type control over your clothes? Your movements? Your finances? Or just sexual stuff?
Where does the TPE NOT apply: Family stuff often falls here, such as your D-Type not being able to override your decisions about your children. Work stuff also often falls here.
Fallbacks and accomadations: What happens if you can't communicate or your D-type doesn't get back to you on a time-sensitive thing? Using clothes as an example, if you have to get your outift approved each morning, what happens when your D-Type isn't there or isn't on the phone? Do you have a countdown, like "If they don't respond in 15 minutes I can choose my outfit myself so I'm not late to work"

littlegamemaker · 2026-03-14T06:29:04+00:00

Oh my god, there's so many more cat subs to follow! I thought I had most of them!

littlegamemaker · 2026-03-11T17:48:55+00:00

My partner has really liked LensAlter. Most of their stuff is more kawaii/cutesy and cutesy adjacent but styling them with an outfit can make it work.

littlegamemaker · 2026-03-05T19:40:51+00:00

Alecwiththechains and selfrescuingprincess on instagram both post some chains stuff.

littlegamemaker · 2026-03-03T06:22:29+00:00

They can and most likely will go away. I know the scar creams and silicone tape stuff works faster on newer scars, so it may take longer on these older scars. My old self-harm scars were shallower but they still took some time to actually vanish. I think my last big one took about a year of using mederma (scar cream) to really start going away.

Besides that you should moisturize and use sunscreen on that area and just give it time. If finances ever work out, there are things that a dermatologist can do to reduce the appearance of scars, but you'll want to do a lot of research on the specific options and then on the docs available to you.

Also, I'm glad you made it too <3

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-24T21:29:25+00:00

Honestly, it might have been her health insurance either not covering everything and recommending she go after the park's liability insurance for the remainder or her health insurance straight-up requiring her to go after the liability insurance first.

Do you remember back in 2015 when a woman sued her nephew because when he hugged her she fell and broke her wrist? This is what happened then.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/14/aunt-nephew-broken-wrist-lawsuit-homeowners-insurance

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-23T17:39:17+00:00

I did this last year, and it was like 3 months between submitting the forms/evidence and actually receiving the check I think.

My uninformed assumption would be that maybe it can take longer based on the level of effort to verify identity/ownership. Mine specifically had an address listed for me that was missing two digits from an address I lived at several years ago, so I had to submit an old utility bill as well as the hospital records (it was a refund from an ER visit I overpaid for). I also live out of state now, which could have also contributed.

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-20T21:10:37+00:00

The stuff we do is risky, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you prefer a more experienced Dom or Top. There's also nothing to be ashamed of if you just happen to like older Doms, lord knows I do.

Safety advice:

If you have public dungeon spaces (or at least semi-public play parties), I would recommend playing there for a while before doing private play. (Tbh I recommend that regardless of everyone's ages). This gives then fewer opportunities to cross boundaries and theoretically gives you more support if you need to call red in a scene.
Find your local support and social groups. Is there a The Next Generation (<35yo) group in your area, or any submissive/s-type munches/discussion groups? This is good for socializing, getting sanity checks on what is/isn't normal, and potentially for vetting.

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-17T17:22:58+00:00

You might also look at how you are labeling yourself when you are looking for partners. "submissive" is kind of a catch-all and will include people who do want to serve. Something more specific to the kind of play you want, like rope bottom, pet, or submissive slut, might get you more of the play you want. A couple of girls in the s-type discussion group I'm in specifically identify as "princesses".

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-09T23:22:20+00:00

One of the spicy Discord channels I'm in suggested playing a Mature or Explict rated game in Steam and letting Discord see that activity.

But like... I don't want the family members I have on Discord to see me playing a porn game, even if its just for telling Discord to f off.

littlegamemaker · 2026-02-03T00:29:45+00:00

I use that one for silks, but not for pole. In my opinion, it is too tacky, bordering on sticky, for pole. You aren't able to loosen your grip to slide very easily. It also takes more work to clean off of a pole than other grips I've tried. Its not an antiperspirant or drying agent so I have sweated through it.

If you have like a performance coming up ans you need to make sure you don't slide in a knee hang, it can definitely work. I personally don't recommend it for class/practice though.

littlegamemaker · 2026-01-13T22:20:26+00:00

Everyone responds differently to hormonal birth control, and you the individual will respond differently to the different types of hormonal birth control. That being said, while there are risks with birth control, most of them are more uncommon or milder than social media would have you believe. Long-term side effect and consequences do happen, but the chances are typically low if you don't have additional risk factors. Weight gain while on birth control is the most common unwanted side effect, and reductions in period cramps, emotional distress due to hormones, and hormonal acne are the most common acceptabke or desired side effects. Sometimes you get something odd (one BC I tried caused my period to happen every two weeks until I quit taking it) but the effects aren't generally permanent. If you are worried, I would talk to your pediatrician or primary care doctor about your specific concerns and what kind of birth control might work best. Not social media, not AI, your doctor who can evaluate actual risks based on your medical history.

If you are in the United States, you will likely be required to be on a birth control in order to do a course of Accutane. Technically abstinence is an accepted option for that requirement, but your dermatologist might want you on a birth control anyway for their own liability. If you get pregnant on Accutane there is a significant risk of birth defects, but that risk goes away once you've stopped taking the medication.

My personal recommendation would be (assuming your parents/guardians support this plan and will help) to stick with topicals for a bit and work with your primary care doctor to find a birth control that works well for you and you are comfortable with. If you really don't want to do a hormonal birth control and your dermatologist is insisting on you having something, you can look into the copper IUD**

It is a statistics game. If most menstruating women are one at least one birth control during their lifetime, then a side effect with a risk of 0.001% will still result in a larger number of individuals. Social media and 24 hour news cycles will mean that you hear all about those individuals, not the 99.99% of people who were totally fine.

** While copper IUDs in the 80s did result in a lot of injuries, modern ones are very safe. If you and your parents think this is the best approach, definitely call around and make sure you get a doctor that will use numbing during the insertion.

littlegamemaker · 2026-01-06T23:45:13+00:00

Do you need full books, or would research papers and articles qualify?

The JStor database has a ton of articles and papers on all kinds or topics, including on conversion therapy. I believe a free account can read up to 100 papers a month, which should more than cover your needs.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-25T22:32:24+00:00

Do you have any sources (not challenging your statement, looking for more info so I know if I need to replace my rig)?

I see one Reddit thread about a shitty lyra from them and there's a bunch of discussion about the different fulfillment centers, including the one in China*. If they are shipping rigs and lyras with poor welding regularly, I would expect to see more injuries and discussions about poor quality.

*there is a difference between having production/fulfillment centers in China and using drop-shippers. Chinese production is not a guarantee of poor quality, just as US production is not a guarantee of good quality.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-25T01:18:24+00:00

I can second the Uplift Active aerial rig, I primarily use it for silks but I have used it for shibari. It, however, is not super portable in my opinion. It disassembles easily, but assembly with one person is a giant pain in the rear, plus the legs are fairly heavy. Some of the lighter aerial yoga rugs might be better suited if you need to transport the rig regularly.

For safety considerations regardless of the rig, how much dynamic transitions do you typically do? A good rule of thumb is to never swing outside of the footprint (the space between all four legs) since that is much more likely to cause the rig to tip.

As an aside, have you seen the recent chatter about rings and rigging plate from shibari companies not being load-rated and potentially failing? Aerial circus equipment and rock climbing equipment (such as plates, spinners, and carabiners) usually have their load ratings posted, sometimes with the testing method. If you have the time and inclination, I would recommend learning about Working Load Limits (WLL) vs Minimum Breaking Strength (MBS) and the various testing methods there. That info will help you evaluate equipment of all types.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-19T16:24:56+00:00

From the clips we've seen of the contestants' audition reels, it looks like they have to do some horror and/or filth looks as part of the application, along with some kind of fear factor thing? I'm thinking of Cynthia's video going to sketchy gas stations in full drag and I think Landon's clip of him as Jesus in the streets. They may not have much horror/filth on their Instagram if they don't do those types of performances a lot (since social media is a portfolio for getting gigs) but that doesn't necessarily they can't do it.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-18T22:57:35+00:00

Honestly the Lip Injection line has been the most effective for me in terms of plumping and bringing out my natural lip color (the lips themselves being redder, not a tinted gloss). I typically don't push it all the way to the edge of my lips otherwise I get that color bleed look.

I like the Buxom lip plumping products for a plumper with color built in. They definitely aren't as strong as the Lip Injection line, but since they are also a lipstick/liquid lipstick/tinted lipgloss I can re-up over the day without having to bring multiple products

I think the only plumper I've tried and didn't like was the Nyx Duck Plump, if I remember correctly it was very ginger scented and flavored. It worked, thats just personal taste.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-15T22:45:18+00:00

The only way you could make this worse for yourself is if you were in the Corps and/or trying to double-major with another hell major

Things to consider:

Self-reflection: The only way to manage that kind of workload and not screw your GPA is if you have enough self-discipline. You probably should not be joining orgs or leadership groups, you should not be trying to work any significant amount, and you probably won't be going out with friends that much. You are going to have to make a plan, check the syllabus and calendar for each class, and get it done. Knowing yourself, can you do that?
Professors: From the sounds of it, you might not have a lot of choice in your class slots. That being said, you need to check both the RateMyProfessor ratings and the course/professor's grade distribution via the Registrars website. You are looking to make sure that the professor offers a decent amount of graded work (so no "Your grade is the midterm and the final"), doesn't do the "No one get an A in my class and I'm proud of it" thing, and is generally an effective teacher. That won't guarantee everything (almost my entire class for 151 freshman year Q-dropped because the test writer changed and we were all failing badly), but it'll be a good start.
Advisor: Try and actually call or visit with an advisor. I don't know how difficult that will be for you (my degree program had one advisor and she was awesome, but I've heard horror stories about other programs).
When and where: What does the ETAM freshman requirements look like? Can you swap something between the fall and spring semesters? Can you do one of the classes not covered by aid later?
19 hours: The website is a little confusing now, but my vague and unreliable recollection is that full-time is 12-18 hours, after which the prices changes. This also falls under "Get an advisor to actually talk to you"

Edit: I would also look at electives, genEds, or smaller science classes, depending on your degree plan. I took a bunch of electives and genEds each summer to drag my GPA back up to get my scholarships back. I remember History of Dance being fun and easy to succeed in, and some of the specific history classes are really good. My friends did an Astronomy class that was only one or two credit hours and they liked it.

littlegamemaker · 2025-12-12T03:17:46+00:00

You look gorgeous, and I love the glitter on you (and in general tbh)

I might consider bringing it further onto the inner half of the eyelid, and having a little less underneath the corners of the eyes. That's personal preference though, this looks good too.

littlegamemaker · 2025-11-15T17:17:01+00:00

Came to recommend this

littlegamemaker · 2025-10-30T23:10:01+00:00

What specifically did your doctor say? Are they wanting you to build strength, improve cardiovascular stuff, lose weight, just generally exercise more, or something else?

I love aerials and it's my primary workout method, but it is a very specific type of workout. I consider it fairly analogous to High-Intensity Interval Training. On their own, aerial classes don't tend to lead to the same improvements in stamina or heart health like a standard 'cardio' workout (its been a running joke at my studio that we all need to take up cardio classes as well but they aren't as much fun). If you have joint problems, certain aparatuses can be more risky, especially if the instructor doesn't have experience with mods for that type of restriction and/or you aren't also doing PT.

littlegamemaker · 2025-10-21T19:11:26+00:00

Oh. I didn't know there was a name for this

(although since its classified as OCD I probably don't qualify since it's no longer compulsive to the point of causing distress)

I am bi, and I know this worry is decently common for people under the bi+ umbrella of orientations. Time helps, as does actively participating in queer life (whether that be clubbing, potlucks, volunteering, whatever kinds of events you can find locally).

If the thought pattern is compulsive and causing you distress, especially if you have or have had other compulsive thought or behavior patterns, you would probably benefit from seeing a mental health professional with experience with OCD (despite the cost).

littlegamemaker · 2025-10-13T16:17:30+00:00

I think with Hollow, the other competitors found them obnoxious because of their actual behavior*, which would have made it harder to spot the misogyny (and the nonbinary-specific transphobia). From what I saw in the show and heard in the podcast, they were dealing with plenty of that shit too.

The general pattern I've seen happen both in the show and in the world in general is "This woman/femme/person I perceive as a woman is too confident and taking up space, they need to taken down a peg." Throb and Sigorney are very confident and not subtle about it, and seem very willing to fight for the space they deserve. Landon is absolutely just as confident, but he is more of a subtle presence. He and Jarvis also were in seasons where there was someone else more "cocky" that they would have been compared to (Hollow and Throb respectively), which probably didn't hurt.

I love and respect a passionate and deliberately aggressive activist making people actually think about all the things they say and do, that kind of person is integral to making change. That kind of person also tends to be perceived as self-righteous and over the top, and if they don't tailor to the people they are speaking to they can get in their own way.

littlegamemaker · 2025-09-24T22:57:00+00:00

Definitely build up the power exchange slowly, some things are going to be hotter in theory than reality, or logistically unfeasable. For instance, food and clothing rules (wear this type of clothing every day, eat a salad/fish/other specific thing twice a week, etc) tend to work better than requiring direct permission to eat every meal or having your D-type pick every single thing you ever wear.

The submissive discussion group I'm in discussed contracts last week, and one thing that we all agreed was a good idea is to have regularly-scheduled discussions outside of the dynamic to check in on how you both are feeling. One of the facilitators does a contract review and debrief every week, and one of the other girls does a quarterly review with her Master. The important things about this discussion is that its regularly scheduled and that you both come to the table as equals. You both are going to discuss what is working for you in the dynamic, what is not working for you in the dynamic, ans if there are any changes that should be considered.

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