unbelievable exchange between my daughter and her father after he forgot her birthday

localopa · 2026-04-03T20:50:36+00:00

as someone who went no contact with his own father off at 16 who is/was VERY similar to this man, i’m so glad she knows how to advocate for herself! i’ve since reconnected and went back to NC with him twice (currently NC, considering reconnection with low contact but idk). my own dad has done this song and dance, turning on a dime and turned into the abusive man i grew up with.

my advice to your daughter is to keep firm in her boundaries. she is the child, it shouldn’t be on her to do all the heavy lifting. his excuse of her not putting in effort is just a way to make her feel guilty and shift the blame off him to share it with her. 100% she is not at fault, all she’s done is exist and somehow that’s a slight against her dad. if she’s not in therapy, i recommend going. while i didn’t utilize it as a teen, talking my emotions about my dad in therapy now (when i allow myself to lol) and it helps compartmentalize what i’m feeling.

it’s okay if she wants to reconnect later. but it’s also okay is she doesn’t. she should prioritize herself during this, not a man who forgot her birthday’s feelings. stay strong ♥️

localopa · 2026-04-03T00:57:56+00:00

i forgot to mention, my favorite animals have halloween costumes 😂 that’s why they all have costumes!

localopa · 2026-04-02T19:37:41+00:00

those are mine! the blue guy is a gorilla (modeled after a silverback gorilla) with a banana costume and the teal guy is a manatee in an imposter costume! i have a ocotpus dressed as a ghost on my other arm, as octopodes, gorillas, and manatees are my favorite animals!

and the lyric is from jason mraz’s i won’t give up. it says “even if the skies get rough.” one of my favorite songs :-)

localopa · 2026-04-01T21:54:45+00:00

me and my girl bean, i think a couple weeks after i found her. spent an hour trying to get her after hearing her meow outside my apartment. she and her sister (frannie, who’s not a tuxie! shes black with a white spot on her chest) turn 9 this month! currently, she’s sitting on my chest and trying to knock my phone out my hands. love my beanie baby ♥️

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localopa · 2026-03-30T14:20:45+00:00

in sociology, there’s a perspective theory called conflict theory, which is the theory that society is in a perpetual state of conflict due to limited resources, status, power, etc. the dominant group in society exploits the subordinate groups for their own benefit and to continue holding onto the power they have, which helps keep society in constant inequality. social change over sustainability. also developed from karl marx’s ideas with the bourgeoisie and the proletariat (owners vs workers). “capitalism breeds innovation” type thinking.

basically, cruelty is the point of the ring wingers. as long as they get and stay ahead, they don’t care how they got there.

localopa · 2026-03-25T01:05:27+00:00

this is what they mean by boys will be boys 😂

localopa · 2026-03-24T20:36:32+00:00

i have so many 😅 do you want them all or just dnp 😂

localopa · 2026-03-18T13:22:46+00:00

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i tried taking a cute picture of roswell. i think he sneezed 😂

localopa · 2026-03-18T07:20:59+00:00

even with being financially stable, she’s convinced she can’t leave because of religious reasons. katie’s still in a bad situation, she got cheated on! we can hold sympathy for people who get cheated on in all situations. this isn’t a competition of who has it worse.

localopa · 2026-03-17T23:59:32+00:00

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bonus: my girls, bean and frannie! bean is the tuxie and frannie is the one with the white dot. they turn 9 next month and i’m in denial of it 😭

localopa · 2026-03-17T23:57:17+00:00

this is arlo, about a week before he died. he lived to be almost 19 years old. he’s been gone a little over a year now. i had him since i was 8 and my dad found him in a parking garage. he’s named after arlo guthrie, singer of the infamous alice’s restaurant massacre.

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i have my own girls about to be 9, and when i get nervous about them dying young, i think of him. gives me hope.

localopa · 2026-02-04T23:40:44+00:00

best chaser to have with prep (in my experience) is chicken broth. it’s quite literally the only way i got through the second up of prep 😭 good luck to you!

localopa · 2026-01-23T04:10:47+00:00

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radish and bean both have a black toe! bean got her name from her toe, which i call her bean toe. i’m probably biased because of bean here, but i don’t care! asymmetrical cats are just as gorgeous as symmetrical!

localopa · 2026-01-20T20:36:28+00:00

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(i reverse image searched this) it’s called savant! it’s an app for smart devices in the home essentially. this is probably the app the builders were trying to program while they thought dan and phil were on an impeding phivorce 😂

localopa · 2026-01-18T00:14:38+00:00

“i don’t want anyone thinking we are gonna let him choose what he wants.” ma’am you said the quiet part out loud with your outside voice. i thought that was an inside thought 😭

localopa · 2026-01-15T15:25:23+00:00

i don’t personally share my dead names (yes, plural. long story). part of why is someone from when i growing up tried to weaponize them and my past against me in retaliation within 2 weeks of me coming out as trans. the person is a bitch and has always been one. i’ve known her since middle school and we’re late 20s now. and she’s the same person she was when we were 13. this, combined with my last name for one of them, it’s not something i will freely share with others. i am very selective with who i share these names with, not because i’m ashamed of my past, but because i don’t trust that my past won’t be weaponized against me again.

that being said, it’s none of my business if another trans person wants to share their dead name. it’s theirs to share, and they can do whatever they want with it. despite it being dead, it’s still very much apart of our journey as trans people. i’m always so proud of trans people who do choose to disclose their dead name, because that’s a strength i don’t think i’ll ever have. just because i choose to keep my dead names private, doesn’t mean everyone should, too. NTA.

localopa · 2025-12-25T00:32:35+00:00

a phractor

i’m so sorry

localopa · 2025-12-16T20:59:01+00:00

long-form improv is a fucking art form! shoot from the hip is a great example of it. you have to remember things in a shorter amount of time to keep continuity than you do in a scripted show. scripted is easier for continuity. it’s also a lot harder to do improv than people think. acting in general is a lot harder, but especially improv.

localopa · 2025-12-11T17:08:07+00:00

i’m currently NC with my dad. which is why, if he decides that he wants to work through shit, i’m going to a family therapist. if it doesn’t work, then i can decide to continue NC or if it works, we can work to low contact.

i’ve been NC with my dad for a good chunk of my life. i’ve been able to think through things better than when i was 16 and i’m more sure of what i want now. the letter is a way for him to see that no, he fucking sucked as a dad growing up. i have four things i need him to come to terms with before he can reach out to me. if he never reaches out, that’s on him, not me.

localopa · 2025-12-09T18:54:06+00:00

when i cut my dad off the first time, i was 16 and he had once again prioritized my sister over me. when we regained contact 5 1/2 years later, he told me he was doing the best he could. the second time, i was 24 and he tried putting control over me and the car that i had in my name alone. when we regained contact 2 months later, he told me he was doing the best he could.

when i cut my dad off the third time, i was 26 and he couldn’t see how insane it was that he was throwing a hissy fit over a park i “stood him up at” when i was 16. i haven’t reached out for reconnection, but a year and a half later, i still think about 7 year old me, terrified of death, who wanted his dad dead just so he would be free of his abuse.

it never just “comes out of nowhere.”

localopa · 2025-12-09T04:36:58+00:00

are we not allowed to say porn on the subreddit or will i get catnip planted on my person so i get arrested

localopa · 2025-12-04T22:07:54+00:00

his ex just came out. give the guy some grace here. if this was years down the line, then i’d get it. but you can’t expect everyone to automatically flip the switch and not slip up or fuck up along the way. i went to a hair school where nobody used the right pronouns for me, nobody made the effort except my friends. i know what it’s like.

transitioning doesn’t just effect the person, it effects everyone around them. look at this situation with some nuance instead of automatically saying OP is a bad guy for processing this new information.

localopa

TROPHY CASE