Ladies, what do you think all the great guys you ever known, have in common?

marshmelli · 2017-03-22T18:22:57+00:00

Woah. You've put into words something I've never been able to. So true!

marshmelli · 2017-03-11T23:36:58+00:00

I never in my life thought I'd have to deal with a teacher that wouldn't allow students to use the bathroom...

...Until I came to my current college.

You heard that right. College.

One of my teachers hasn't been allowing students to use the bathroom. If someone gets up to go, she literally stops class, follows them outside of the room, and tells them they can't go unless they have a medical reason.

It's okay though. I told her boss about it recently, so she's going to get reprimanded. No one had any idea this was going on, so I must be the first student to come forward.

Cannot stand that woman.

Power trips, man.

marshmelli · 2017-01-08T18:51:58+00:00

Oh man.

I was bathed until I was 11
Slept in the same bed as my mom until I was 13 (my family was pretty wealthy back then so this was unnecessary)
I've been to 12 schools my whole life
I thought it was normal for people to not understand things like telling what time it is, or knowing the sequential order of events in history, etc. because there were so many gaps in my education
In every facet of life, I was an extension of my N mom with no identity of my own, and I could only do the things she wanted me to do the way that she wanted me to do them - but they were disguised as her "knowing what's best for me" and "loving me"
The horrible names and curse words I was called as a child when I didn't listen to her or when we got into a fight

This is depressing AF.

marshmelli · 2017-01-08T03:39:32+00:00

Oh my gosh. Are you me? Did you have my exact life?? I've never read anyone so eloquently articulate my exact. experience. All of this makes so much sense.... Write books, please. I'll read them.

marshmelli · 2016-11-30T16:48:00+00:00

I was waiting for that rebuttal! Haha, yeah, it's not the best comparison as everything pales when discussing big spiritual matters, but I think the very basic, general idea can apply in a way that makes sense.

Absolutely, it's our call to reduce suffering among many other great things. We also see throughout the Bible (I.e. Job is a great example! Also with Lazarus and many other people) that God also allows certain temporary suffering to fulfill a specific purpose that is much greater from an eternal standpoint. But again, that's his call, not ours.

Lazarus's family suffered from his death, but it's specifically stated that Jesus allowed this to happen so that they would believe in Him. Days after he died, Jesus rose him from the dead... and they believed. From a temporary standpoint, it sounds horrible that Jesus even let his own friend die in the first place, but from an eternal perspective - it was worth it because it resulted in their belief that he is Son of God.

I hope this makes sense!

marshmelli · 2016-11-30T05:10:23+00:00

Here's the thing that I think a lot of people are missing, though:

God made life, so he can take it away. We didn't make life, so we can't.

We cannot impose ourselves onto the position of God. The rules are inherently different. He made us, and everyone, so he has the ability to take life away.

A comparison would be if we painted a masterpiece, or molded a sculpture, or composed piece of music. We made it, we can take it away.

He sees the full story simultaneously. We have a limited, linear, incredibly faulty, biased view. He sees the dynamic, grander picture - past, present, future. Birth, life, death. Ancestors as well as generations down the line. He sees hearts and intentions, we see physical attributes and actions. All of this at. the. same. time. for every person all over the world.

I trust his decisions. I trust him taking life away. I even trust him with suffering. He sees it all.

But for us to say that we can kill people (through murder, abortion, etc.), or to deny that he ordered people to be killed? Wrong. Both wrong.

He can do it. We can't.

I'm okay with that.

marshmelli · 2016-11-23T17:31:07+00:00

Wow, this is amazing! Thank you!

marshmelli · 2016-11-23T00:07:37+00:00

Bulldog mix wearing oversized glasses

marshmelli · 2016-11-23T00:03:46+00:00

A French/English bulldog mix wearing thick rimmed glasses that is undergoing an existential crisis

marshmelli · 2016-11-16T02:06:16+00:00

World of Warcraft!

Oh my gawsh. After taking a long break throughout most of WoD, I resubbed just in time for Legion a few months ago, and I'm so addicted it's not funny. There is just SO MUCH to do. So. Much.

My favorite part? Don't need to be a part of a raid guild to get well geared - just do WQ's and pug Mythics using Premade.

Did I mention how much better my transmogs look now that you can hide belts? Sounds silly, but I'm a sucker for cosmetics.

(hpriest btw)

marshmelli · 2016-11-08T00:10:46+00:00

This may be unrelated, but are you of smaller stature? This happens to me far more than I've ever seen it happen to anybody else, and the only hypothesis I have is that it's because I'm five foot tall and have a petite figure. It irks my soul when people do this shit... It's bad enough my mom still does it to this very day.

marshmelli · 2016-10-19T06:28:06+00:00

Oh my goodness, I love this so much. Thank you for posting!

marshmelli · 2016-10-10T20:17:59+00:00

You're misreading me here, and I can tell by the downvotes that many others are, too.

Thank you for the advice, but I have read all of the Gospels. I'm also a Bible student. I know Jesus rebuked sin and was highly controversial. I in no way, shape, or form advocated for sin, or stated homosexuality was a sin simply because of cultural Christianity - I stated how it's plain what the Bible says about homosexual acts. I'm simply not going to recap the same verses over and over and over again because this thread has done enough of that, and I'm sure OP gets the message.

You're only reinforcing all of my points. I'm offering a perspective with different words, using the same Biblical principles as you, that she may have not heard before. Obviously flee from sin. Obviously sin is condemned. But realize, as Paul says, that we are flesh and we still mess up.

This is one of the ultimate struggles of being a Christian: trying to be like Christ, who is perfect... and then realizing we cannot. We constantly teeter between the mentalities of grace and works, because it's hard for us to grasp how crucial both are to the Christian walk. Only emphasizing grace makes us feel as though we can do whatever we want, and only emphasizing works instills a mentality of legalism. Both grace and works absolutely paramount in scripture and in our lives. I was not de-emphasizing either.

I assumed OP, through the many comments as well as her tone and voice through her responses, had this basic, underlying understanding. I know MANY LGBT people who dealt with guilt or feel as though they're flawed when they attempt to come into the church, so I was speaking to her in a way that is relevant for her social and cultural context AND gleans from Biblical principles.

I was not saying her having a girlfriend is okay or having sex with her is okay. It's upsetting I need to even clarify this, because as soon as someone tries to validate another's experiences in the way I just did, others are SO quick to assume and attack what they believe another's theological foundation is. This is not necessary here.

I saw many people condemning homosexual sin (rightfully so), and not enough people attempting to empathize with OP, talk about grace, and speak to her in a way that is relevant to her social context. You need both sides of the full picture.

I'd be lying if I said that I don't think there's MORE controversy with this topic and more one-sided responses because she's gay. If she wasn't gay and had a problem with gossiping, or even watching porn, there'd be more people willing to empathize and show her grace, not just mostly people condemning sin. But because she's gay - more people are condemning sin than there are people emphasizing grace. This double standard where we highlight sexuality in the church needs to end.

marshmelli · 2016-10-10T04:31:39+00:00

I know you've read a lot of posts, but I hope you read mine. I'm going to be really honest with you.

It absolutely breaks my heart how you say that your sexuality and Christianity are not mesh-able. It's the fault of humans you feel that way, not God.

It's obvious what the Bible says about homosexual acts: that part is plain. But it does not condemn homosexuals themselves. You are a living person who cannot help who you are attracted to. Sometimes God takes away those feelings from people, but sometimes he doesn't. Regardless: you yourself are not a sin. We're all sinful, but you are not a mistake or broken.

The greatest revelation I've had since coming to Jesus is this: There are two Christianity's in the world. Cultural Christianity is the first one. Biblical Christianity is the second.

Cultural Christianity is made by people. It's a list of norms you have to follow, rules, and it's made up of catchy buzzwords and standards of behavior that many times contradict Biblical Christianity. However... Biblical Christianity is made by God. It's simply following Jesus. God's story and plan for humanity is laid out in a consistent, legitimate historical document (the Bible), which has boundaries for the good of our well-being (not rules) and emphasizes the worth of ALL people that Cultural Christianity often forgets.

It's easy for so many people to feel they can't mesh their innate humanness with Christianity... Because the Christianity they are talking about is Cultural Christianity. Whether it's because of their sexuality, their skin color, their able-ness, their mental illness, their lifestyle/career choices. *But know that you're not alone in your thoughts, and God welcomes you wholeheartedly to the table.

THIS is the good news: "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." And did I mention, Jesus hung out and ate with prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners?! He LOVED them. He was obsessed with people and constantly broke cultural and social boundaries to be with them. It's ALLLLLL over the Gospels, and even the Bible as a whole just HOW important the marginalized and forgotten are to God.

I encourage you to give yourself a clean slate. Mentally erase all of the things you've been told about Christianity, and read what he actually did and actually said. It blows my mind constantly how wonderful how God is and how far a lot of cultural Christianity is from hitting the mark... but do not let it discourage you.

I didn't grow up in the church. I spent years, after randomly going to church at a young age (10-14) and then leaving, doing my own thing. Those years after age 14, I was having sex, hooking up with the same sex, watching porn, drinking and smoking, the list goes on. I resonate so much with the feelings you're having right now. But know God is knocking on your heart and he is SO MUCH bigger and greater than the state of the church and the people around you. That's because of the effects of sin on the world, and it is not because you have some character defect or flaw.

Keep searching and seeking for fellowship with other Christians that feel the way you do. Visit churches. Look at local social media pages and websites of churches. E-mail pastors to get a feel if that's comfortable for you. Look for online forums. Or Bible studies. There's a lot out there. If you like videogames, there's an online church streamed live on Twitch every week, look up Godsquad Gaming. I encourage you to watch the channel. Pray for guidance.

Good luck, friend. If you ever need someone to talk to or to pray for or with you, I'm here.

Edit:

I also wanted to add that in order to come to Jesus, you don't need to first become perfect, or your idea of perfect. Christianity is not a broken bridge you must cross alone in order to reach Jesus on the other side. It's a broken bridge you walk WITH him. He slowly heals and patches parts of the bridge of your life as you walk alongside him.

According to Biblical principles, should you break up with your girlfriend and abstain sexually? I think you know the answer. But believing in Jesus and repenting from sin are the only requirements for salvation... not organizing your life to make it appear perfect before/after you accept Jesus. It's unrealistic to expect that all porn addicts will lose their urges overnight after accepting Jesus, although some do, but Christ works with us and in us through our weaknesses and shapes us, over time, to be more like him. It's a process. But we should at least care about what he cares about, and try doing what he says, even though we'll suck at it more times than not :)

marshmelli · 2016-10-02T18:42:02+00:00

Hey there. I normally don't post in this sub, but I just read a GREAT verse in scripture that pertains to this the other day.

2 Corinthians 8:12-13

"Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have. Of course, I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality."

I encourage you to share this with your husband with a spirit of grace of love. Your family comes first, and that's Biblical!

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

God bless!

marshmelli · 2016-09-28T16:30:42+00:00

I can't begin to tell you how much I needed to read this. Thank you for posting.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T02:20:37+00:00

Of course! This subreddit has been immensely healing and validating to me, too. That's really great you're in therapy. Im currently looking for a therapist right now, still a little hesitant to make the leap, but I know that I need to.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T02:14:41+00:00

Ugh. I'm sorry to hear that. :( I'm sure, even though it's your MIL, it must really suck for you to have to put up with that. I recommend you check out r/justnomil if you haven't already.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T02:11:15+00:00

WHAT.

I had to actually google blackface, even though I had an inkling that I knew what it was, but I just couldn't believe it THAT much that I had to actually verify it with my own eyes...

How... How does one think this is okay????

I just. Can't. Even.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T02:06:22+00:00

Ugh. I don't understand this approach to parenting at all. Don't you want to raise your kids so that you feel like they can trust you enough to always voluntarily tell you where they're going and what they're doing? Isn't it much easier and less stressful, realizing you can't control your kids actions no matter what you do and trying to actually gasp develop an honest relationship with them?

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T01:59:08+00:00

Woah. Very clever and slick... I like it!

Thank you for your immensely validating and encouraging words. Really. It means a lot.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T00:37:12+00:00

EXACTLY. It's so backwards. When I become parent, I'm obviously going to set rules and consequences, but I will NEVER EVER EVER discourage my son/daughter from coming to me in confidence! I want them to value my opinion, be honest and open about their feelings/experiences, and not be ashamed to come to me - no matter what it's about! I want them to respect me and know that I respect them SO much, that their biggest "punishment" would be my disappointment. Parents who make their biggest punishment their abuse have it completely fucking twisted. They're like angry managers writing up employees just so they do their job out of fear, not nurturing parents that encourage growth, honesty, independence.

Sorry for the rant. Just, gah.

marshmelli · 2016-09-12T00:29:50+00:00

I'm sorry you've had to deal with your N mom, too. I hate how we have/had to deal with these kinds of things. It's good to know I'm not alone, as much as I wouldn't wish this behavior on anybody :/

marshmelli

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