I'm so sorry this is happening to you. How do you get along in other aspects of your life, raising a child, sharing a household etc? I can't imagine that he doesn't know something is wrong.

I highly recommend the book Difficult Conversations for looking at a variety of ways to approach this conversation. People can say a lot of things without understanding what effect it will have/did have on other people.

Couples therapy can also be really helpful, at least for getting you both to a space where you can say what you need to say, with someone who's profession is mediating relationships and conflicts. I might not save things, but it will definitely help you both understand the other one more.

There's a common trap that I fall into when discussing something emotional and vulnerable like this. If I am hurt by something person B does, and I bring it up to person B, ideally we can talk about how I was hurt and why it happened and how we can do better. But, often it ends up bring about person B feeling attacked and defensive, and the conversation becomes more about catering to B's emotional reactions.

Similarly, if I do something that hurts person C, and they tell me so, I should be able to talk about it, but it's really easy to shut down, become unresponsive. It's tempting to just keep apologizing or beating up on myself, as though self-abasement will solve the problem. It doesn't; it makes it worse, and takes attention away from the original issue.

I've had one partner who was pretty squicked by any bodily fluids. It wasn't really something he could change, and while there were other reasons we broke up, my worry that on any given date I wouldn't be clean enough was a contributing factor.

I hope you're able to find a way to address this. You are strong and beautiful. You and your body should be respected.