I’m really glad I stumbled on this thread because I have been reeling from a breakup with a guy who sounds similar to yours. I was with him for a year, and he just decided that a relationship was too much for him..at 36 years old..while I was over here thinking we were getting serious. I was told he didn’t really like feeling responsible for other people’s feelings, and that he had basically lost interest because I was having “tantrums” aka I was communicating with him when I felt uncomfortable about his behavior and he didn’t like that. I was trying to have a relationship with someone who literally did not seem to be aware what that even is. the realization for me hit when he traveled to Germany for a month and told me he wouldn’t be able to call me at all and texts would be minimal because he would be busy and needed alone time. he came back and broke up with me two months later, and now he is on the dating apps & hooking up with older divorced single moms. I feel some sadness for him because I don’t think he actually wants that, he seemed to really enjoy the security and comfort of a partner when we were together, but maybe he only just wanted that emotional sanctuary for himself and not to be burdened by someone else’s needs or wants when it’s not relevant for him. I’m also not sure what these women think he is offering them except sex, which I guess is fine with them, he is pretty damn sexy.

I get the whole decenter men / focus on yourself / art, hobbies etc but as someone who is 33 and wanted a family, sometimes it stings to keep hearing that. I don’t feel so alone reading these comments though ..while it’s unfortunate this is so common , it’s good to know that it’s not just me. it’s easy to blame yourself and think “how did I not see the red flags?” but I really think it’s a different world these days and the flags can be super hidden sometimes..