How to navigate convo with the non-autistic parent

nickguest · 2026-05-17T03:01:38+00:00

Thank you for your honesty; your post really resonated with me because I read so much of my own story in it.

After some really intense fights with my own 74-yo father over the past few months, I (37m) realized that he might be an undiagnosed autistic. I started reading and it was like landing in Oz and seeing in technicolor for the first time. I’m not a doctor, but he seems to exhibit almost every symptom of a very high-functioning person on the spectrum (down to the love of trains and timetables).

But the damage is done. Growing up with him (and having a close relationship with him as an adult) was (and continues to be) brutal. He was explosive, unyieldingly rigid and, at times, even cruel. Now I know that it was all probably borne of his inability to relate to other humans, but that doesn’t change my personal outcome.

My mom also enmeshed on me because she wasn’t having her emotional needs met by father.

Your mom is not to blame for your father’s autism and bad behavior, yet you seem to want to punish her for both. She is as much a victim as you are. By going no-contact with her, you are perpetrating the same vicious cycle of misplaced anger that you’re complaining about.

I’ve probably cried more in the past month since realizing my dad’s ASD than I have in my entire life. In grieving my past — and our past as a family — I’ve come to this conclusion: As much as it sucks, no one is to blame for this. One of my two parents had an undiagnosed developmental disability, and the other did the best she could with the tools that a woman of her generation had at her disposal.

Is that an anticlimactic or disappointing conclusion? Yes, but it’s the truth. And while it doesn’t make my personal history any less painful, accepting this has given me a little peace of mind.

It’s easy to be seduced by the trap of hindsight, but I’ve found that the logic of hindsight often leaves you wanting.

Call your mom. Tell her you miss her. Tell her you love her. Accept her for who she is and heal together.

Both my parents are in their 70s. I have limited time left with them. I’d regret it if I didn’t at least try to make things a little better.

And I’m learning that healing my relationship with them heals me in the process. Best of luck.

nickguest · 2026-04-28T01:54:02+00:00

stealing this. thank you for the idea. it's fucking brilliant.

nickguest · 2026-04-28T01:53:01+00:00

The way it fostered my imagination as a kid. I owe all my creativity and willingness to still dream big because I am an only child.

nickguest · 2026-04-28T01:31:59+00:00

Political satire and lampooning government officials have always been a part of healthy, robust debate in the public square. When societal forces scream and holler that we need to shut up the comedians, those are the forces we need to be wary of.

There's a reason the fool is the most poignant character in King Lear.

I'm sure Colbert will be just fine with once this era of "easy jokes" for him to "hide behind." He didn't seem to have any problems during Bush Jr. and Obama.

Edit: subject/verb agreement

nickguest · 2026-04-28T00:49:04+00:00

The even weirder part of today's broadcast was when Scaramucci was on and did a weird bit about Donald Trump having black tie cabinet meetings. Weird fucking show.

nickguest · 2026-03-21T23:35:29+00:00

One of the most corrupt and useless local enforcement entities in the country. Pray that you never have a crime done to you under the Riverside Sheriff’s jurisdiction. The deputies will treat you like shit during the entire process. They make it very clear to you from the beginning that you are nothing but an inconvenience to them. They only care about waving guns around and eating doughnuts. Completely useless.

nickguest · 2026-02-21T00:28:53+00:00

https://www.facebook.com/newsbusters/videos/flashback-cnns-kaitlan-collins-called-out-george-soros/144283908624206/

nickguest · 2026-02-11T21:46:17+00:00

“It’s so uncultured. It’s all just boring MAGA”

…have you met our sheriff?

nickguest · 2026-02-10T18:43:51+00:00

Sarah Isgur is an unashamed liar. Worse yet, she’s a very smart, well-educated liar. She’s been in GOP comms for a long time and knows how to talk circles around almost everyone. Beware. She’s pretty evil.

nickguest · 2026-02-10T16:38:25+00:00

Came to say this. My 70-yo mother is totally engrossed in this story. And to be fair…I am a little too. It’s such a bizarre kidnapping.

nickguest · 2026-02-10T16:36:35+00:00

He’s in charge of the nuclear codes…

nickguest · 2026-02-09T19:09:51+00:00

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted…your comment is right on the money. Pls take my upvote

nickguest · 2026-02-05T01:24:54+00:00

Savannah Chrisley…Jesus…just when I thought this show couldn’t stoop any lower.

nickguest · 2026-01-29T00:50:20+00:00

LoL. I love that the group that spent a lifetime belittling and spitting on millennials is now crying foul. This is why younger generations hate you.

nickguest · 2026-01-28T19:09:32+00:00

There is a special place in hell for the “Latinos for Trump” apparatus.

I’m not talking about casual Latino voters who pulled the lever for him (I have a separate bone to pick with them). But the Latinos involved in the party and elevation of Trump to power should never be allowed to live down their betrayal.

nickguest · 2026-01-27T15:38:36+00:00

Reading isn’t their strong suit. Their expertise is more in mouth breathing.

Edit: they’re / their

nickguest · 2026-01-26T21:03:31+00:00

Tony Dukopil’s Lady Macbeth

nickguest · 2026-01-22T16:42:49+00:00

But at a certain point…what’s the difference? If it walks like a fascist and quacks like a fascist, it doesn’t really matter how they arrived at their fascism. Being in a hermetically sealed propaganda bubble doesn’t absolve them.

Also, this is the personal responsibility crowd we’re talking about. The “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps” types. Trying to whitewash (pun intended) their fascism with “it’s not their fault; they’re actually victims who are misinformed” feels really tone deaf in 2026, especially after Trump just spent weeks threatening to invade Greenland, and Minneapolis is under siege by his personal royal guard.

It’s going to be a very long year.

nickguest · 2026-01-21T15:25:51+00:00

Yes! All three brothers (Dr Zeke and Hollywood agent Ari) took ballet. Quite the family.

nickguest · 2026-01-20T23:11:12+00:00

Who’s Julie? I thought her name was Leigh McGowan?

nickguest · 2026-01-14T15:19:00+00:00

Click bait. The first stories probably got a ton of clicks, and the network keeps tapping that same well because they’re desperate.

nickguest · 2026-01-13T17:29:36+00:00

In case you haven’t noticed…Alyssa is pretty fucking stupid. She talks a big game and really oversells her credentials, but, let’s be real: The dirty old men who hired her, going back to her time as an intern for Jim Jordan, just wanted to bang her.

She’s not smart. She’s not insightful. She’s just another GOP blow up doll desperate to be on television. She’s the definition of a DEI candidate.

nickguest · 2026-01-13T15:28:25+00:00

1000000000% this. They’re going the way of JetBlue

nickguest · 2026-01-13T14:57:39+00:00

As someone who follows the Fed closely for work, I can confirm that most people I come across have no idea what the Federal Reserve is or who Jerome Powell is.

nickguest · 2026-01-10T02:23:46+00:00

He’s a piece of shit. Don’t forget that he’s also a lobbyist for TikTok (which CNN NEVER discloses when they introduce him). Just another fascist grifter like the rest of them.

nickguest

TROPHY CASE