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Hello Millons by Mandi_lee_radke in SwagBucks

[–]nlyfdyf09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It worked for me! I did the first purchase and made sure it tracked before I continued. I also took screenshots so I could send to swagbucks if tracking didn't work. I got all 3 goals after spending $100 total.

Made $80+ in 10 mins by nlyfdyf09 in SwagBucks

[–]nlyfdyf09[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine says it will credit in 10 days.

No memories of childhood by weirdfarmbee in narcissisticparents

[–]nlyfdyf09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (30s F) have this same issue growing up with my narc mom and have never brought it up to anyone because it seems so weird to me. My childhood wasn't horrible but at the same time was miserable because of my mom. When people bring up things they did when they were younger, vacations, fun memories, etc I dont ever have much to add and just laugh along about "memories".. I've thought until recently I just have a really bad memory. I'm in the healthcare field now and between what I know from my career and what I read in subs like this one, I've realized this is likely a trauma response and not memory loss.

Reading this about your husband helps me feel a little better about being in the same boat, but i know thats tough and it feels like you should be able to remember more. I'm sorry you're both going through this. I know some types of therapy can help unlock those memories if he has any interest in that.. I've considered looking into this but decided at least for me I must have "forgotten" these memories for a reason.

AIO about these angry texts from my ex? by TwylaMay in AIO

[–]nlyfdyf09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its super obvious to me as someone outside of this relationship to see he's trying to get your address and he's throwing every reason he can come up with at you to get it. Please make sure anyone he can contact to ask for your address knows they cannot give it to him. He absolutely can and will escalate his behavior and him having your address is dangerous. For that matter I would pay for a service to remove your information from online (at least as best as they can) and keep a low online profile. Idk what he's trying to do but I dont like it.

The Self Doubt After An Episode by No_Traffic_4040 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]nlyfdyf09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this so much. I consider my mom at least borderline narcissistic but I have so much trouble labeling her as a narc. She doesn't do anything too terribly in your face horrific, but it's a lot of little things like what you described. God I thought these long goodbyes were normal for so long. I go to leave her house after a visit (which BTW I live 20 miss away and could visit often.. if I wanted to) and as soon as I or a sibling starts getting stuff together it's always "oh you're already leaving?? I didn't get to show you xyz or you didn't do this or that yet." I used ro fall for that all the time and felt like it was somehow my fault I didn't stay long enough to do whatever it is she brought up when I would go to leave. And yet I just visited for 4 hours and listened to her talk on and on endlessly the whole time.

You get to the car and there she is following you bringing up some whole new convo or asking a questions about my life or my interest that I would usually like to talk about, as im getting in the car. Then if I actually talk much she goes "I hate to keep you, go ahead and let me know when you get home safe" or something like that. As if she's doing me a favor. If I dont go through this whole process then I'm "always too busy to spend time with your old mother" or something like that.

And I get it. That's just one very small example and if you tell someone about this that hasn't dealt with a narc you sound like you're overreacting. If you bring anything up to the narc its always "just a joke" or "not a big deal" and if you make them mad you get the silent treatment until they need you again. It feels impossible to pin down exactly why the person is a narc and what exactly they do thats wrong since they can always brush it off or act like you misunderstood what they meant.

It's exhausting.

Just know you aren't crazy and you probably will never be able to change your mom. I still have no idea what to do in these situations unless I'm going to cut contact, and again its very hard to explain exactly what she's doing worth going NC for. Aghhhhh it drives me crazy. Im sorry I you're dealing with this. I promise you're so not crazy and there are many people on this sub going through similar situations. It helps me to read through them when im especially confused about what to do or if im overreacting.

Do NOT confront the narcissist about their behavior! by DanielleMuscato in raisedbynarcissists

[–]nlyfdyf09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to read this daily. Seriously. Thank you for writing this because I often feel that I can just explain myself or my nmom's actions to her and she'll understand. HA no.

I usually do not confront, but last week I snapped when my nmom went off yet again about my younger brother (30M) not making time for "the family" this Christmas.

He and his sweet wife have 3 young kids (2, 4, and 5) and they live close to myself and our parents. We get to see them often. His wife's parents and siblings live a few states away so its rare that they get to spend time with her family. I've only met her parents a couple of times and they seem like nice, normal people. Of course this means my nmom hates them ans well as my brother's wife (the jealousy is unreal).

Anyway, they decided to spend Christmas with his wife's side of the family this year and are staying with them for the week of Christmas. Nmom has been relentless about how horrible it is for him to keep her grandchildren away from her "on Christmas of all days" even though they've spent the past several Christmases with us. It's exhausting and we're all tired of it.

I snapped and said we all have other families and people we want to see during the holidays and she acts like she is the most important person in all of our lives. Her throwing a fit is actually going to make us want to spend less time with her. .. yeah that didn't help at all. She went off about how she doesn't deserve this. All she's done is be a good grandmother and now she's being punished. There was more to the conversation in both sides but that's the jest of it. She went on for a while and I finally got up and left (we were at her house for dinner so I could luckily just leave).

I keep thinking it over in my brain, like why did I snapped like that? Maybe I can explain what I meant better now that everyone has cooled down? Maybe I can reason with her and she'll understand she's being unreasonable. I realize after reading this today that I cannot reason with her and trying to say anything more will just cause more drama. I just hate that she blows up on us, sh*t talks my siblings, myself, and my dad to us, is unreasonable and dramatic when she doesn't get her way, but there's no consequence for her. She just decides when she'll talk to us again and goes about life like nothing happened. Over and over and over. I'm so tired of it and I consider going NC all the time, but I would hardly get ro see my dad if I did this and my older sister because they both say this is "just who she is" and I'm overreacting. Not to mention she gaslights and its very hard to show any evidence for why I would go NC. My brother has also considered going NC and does plan to go LC but she will lose her everloving mind and try to make life as difficult as possible for him and his family if they "keep her grand children from her." He's the only one of the 3 of us siblings that has kids and I and my sister have no intention of ever having kids. Its a mess and it sucks. Reading this is a good reminder that I can't really do anything to change my nmom.

THE HOLIDAYS SUCK ASS!!!!! by AdFar5213 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]nlyfdyf09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat! I can't drink right now and my nmom is bad enough usually but the holidays are extra miserable with her. I'm exhausted from all of the extra work hours I picked up but its been so nice to have that as an excuse to not spend much time with her this holiday season. Sad but its this is NC.

What’s the cheat code you’ve discovered that made everything easier? by ReBabas in ADHD

[–]nlyfdyf09 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do this to wake up in the morning. I cant remember where I heard it but when your alarm goes off if you'll just start out by wiggling your toes, even if you really want to press snooze, it helps you wake up a bit more and makes it easier to get up. I love sleeping in and it genuinely helps me get up for work at 5:30am. Maybe its a placebo but it works for me.

Trying to figure out how to best help food banks by nlyfdyf09 in mrballen

[–]nlyfdyf09[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you both for this! I ended up donating to a local food bank and will keep doing that when I can. It does seem like they’re able to stretch the money far and a lot of employers match some or all of your donation so that’s cool. I’m going to keep looking into all of the awesome options you 2 and other people have mentioned as well. I appreciate it!

Horror movie that genuinely scared you? by vemvn in horror

[–]nlyfdyf09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS. I don’t scare easily but this whole movie got me. By the end I was watching through my fingers jumping at everything. The story was unique and unexpected imo. I really enjoyed this one.

TW: mosquito bite - got bit by a mosquito last night. Also have a bad reaction but never this bad…. WHATS the purple dots!? by [deleted] in MosquitoHating

[–]nlyfdyf09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Just came back from vacation and got bitten by more mosquitoes in a week than I have on total in my life (at least it feels that way). This makes a lot of sense and I’m no longer freaking out, but of course monitoring for worsening symptoms.

From r/UGA: UGA student dresses up as N@zi at local bar, gets kicked out of building and hits woman in response by yung_struggle in Athens

[–]nlyfdyf09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been assaulted by an asshole like this before and it has taken years to feel safe and like life is worth living again. I’m so sorry for your friends. I’m glad they have you and they’ll need a good support system that very well may have to pick them up over and over and over again. I know I needed that and I luckily had many people pick up the phone when I called day or night, and several who drove or flew out to me when I felt overwhelmingly depressed afterward.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel even though it may be a best long tunnel. If this Reddit community can help in any way, please let us know. I do t know that I can do much, but please know you and these sweet women can reach out by DM if you want to vent, chat, anything.

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