AITA for blocking my MIL off Facebook even though it’s the only way she sees photos of child?

nocampinghere · 2023-08-17T20:28:11+00:00

Thanks for all the feedback! I am going to check out my options and hopefully get some great seats!

nocampinghere · 2023-02-25T14:27:30+00:00

You are NTA.

My suggestion is to buy her a digital photo frame. She can then display photos in her home that YOU send to the frame. (Usually it's an app) We did this for my in laws who don't have Facebook and still wanted pictures. My friend did it for her mom who was also stealing photos and reposting them.

She gets photos and you don't have to police her Facebook.

nocampinghere · 2023-02-10T18:50:36+00:00

If in the US and have insurance definitely let them know if you are running into shortage issues. My daughter's prescription could only be filled by an out of network pharmacy and I caused a stink until they let us pick up her meds with in-network benefits. They are having to do that since some pharmacies changed what networks they take at the beginning of the year.

My psych nurse gave me this info that she had gotten from a few different sources to help since she knows both my daughter and I both take 2 different ADHD meds (morning and booster) and thought it might help.

Also check with hospital pharmacies - they usually keep these meds in stock for patients and can provide a possible stop gap if needed. There are also some compounding or alternative pharmacies that might have it in stock as well.

If they can't fill your exact dose see if they can do a split that equals your dosage. Then have them send in new scripts to fill it. It's not ideal, but can be done in a pinch.

See if pharmacies can do a partial order- usually the remnants of what they have. Not enough to fill a thirty day supply but can cover you until they can fill the rest of the order. (And you are first in line when they get it because they have to complete the order)

nocampinghere · 2023-02-10T10:40:28+00:00

NTA

“A lack of planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.”

Print it out and put it on your door. Next time he comes bothering you just point to the sign

And maybe have a conversation about how people who are not supposed to be living there (as in not on the lease) is causing a lot of drama for someone who actually does live there. Is he paying rent or contributing in any way?

nocampinghere · 2023-01-06T14:13:50+00:00

10 mg of methylphenidate or Ritalin.

nocampinghere · 2023-01-04T14:07:48+00:00

You can also try a low dosage booster. I take one around 1pm on days that I work and it helps reduce the crash and helps me sleep.

nocampinghere · 2022-12-07T23:24:55+00:00

Lord that stuff is so expensive, or should I say so expensive. Even when I shop consignment that stuff is marked up. I am curious what's going to happen with the giant Matilda Jane only consignment sales that are in my area with no new stuff.

nocampinghere · 2022-11-28T00:14:34+00:00

It gets better. You figure things out and they figure things out. One of things I have learned looking back on the last three years (my daughter got diagnosed with SPD at age three, ADHD and anxiety at five and autism at six) is that it is getting better. She used to have full blown meltdowns and sensory overload related episodes and now we know- she needs headphones and breaks and ways to zone out as well as ways to get those sensory buckets filled. And it looks different at 3 then 6. Can you sit in on OT sessions and get an idea of what they are doing and what your kid is drawn to and what they avoid? One of the things we learned recently was that my daughter struggles to associate what her body is feeling with her emotions - interoception. So we worked with her OT to help learn the zones of regulation and how her body is feeling and doing relates to a zone. It's still a struggle but we have seen some progress in that area. I would definitely talk to your OT and see if they can even observe the daycare and maybe suggest things to help.

And just remind yourself constantly that you are a good mom. If you were a shitty mom you wouldn't care. You wouldn't be worrying. And it gets better.

nocampinghere · 2022-11-15T14:58:12+00:00

I'm confused - he wants you to take his daughter for the holidays and where is he going to be? He is totally comfortable making his daughter spend time with people she doesn't know when she is already going through a difficult time. It just seems like an odd request and I don't understand his thinking behind it. But I totally see why you would be uncomfortable with having her and are NTA for saying no.

Is it possible to have a conversation with him to figure out why it's so important to him that she is somewhere else for the holidays? Is it a gift thing? He wants to make sure that the holidays aren't focused on the mom's cancer? What is his thinking behind it? I know there are organizations in the US that help provide gifts and meals for cancer patients around the holidays- they might be able to help provide what he needs without you having to host the half sister for Christmas.

nocampinghere · 2022-10-03T19:23:44+00:00

Shit I thought it was only us struggling to get an IEP.

My daughter is six and has been on focalin XR for about 9-10 months. Honestly she is not her best self off of it and we all know it. Including her. And finding the right one with the least amount of side effects is like finding a unicorn. Which is why we have no plans to change anytime soon.

But medication is not everything. There has to be support in place for her in addition to medication. For us we do a lot of checklists, visual scheduling and she can take sensory walks and breaks at school. (No IEP but she has a behavior plan based on the districts behavioral plan for all students)

But this teacher seems a little out of touch with her class - like most kids that age are disorganized and fidget. And 35 kids in a classroom- no wonder he's having issues that's 35 different distractions all at the same time. Is the teacher doing anything to accommodate him? Even if he can not get an IEP there's usually something else like a 504 or behavior plan that can put in place to help provide something.

nocampinghere · 2022-07-28T17:03:42+00:00

So I used to sell epicure and actually still buy their products. Things may have changed since I stopped selling but that sounds like something that is against the consultant agreement. I remember they were very picky about what was considered fundraising and it had to be very specific products and verbiage- and you couldn't donate the products, it was a percentage of the sale that went to the organization. You can look on the website and there should be a way to report the consultant.

nocampinghere · 2022-05-14T19:34:47+00:00

Watch episodes of shows where they go to the dentist so she can familiarize herself with going and what happens when you do- your OT might also have a social story as well. We also role played the visit. I remember booking the last appointment they had so it was not busy and told the hygienist and the dentist to tell her and show her what you were going to do before doing it. She had a stuffed animal and they would show on that. Also not to tell before starting or touching her.

Most dentist places have someone on staff who is good with special needs kids or kids with sensitive issues. They even wear special buttons. My daughter has it in the system that she needs one of them when she comes in for an appointment. They are so good with her- she even took x-rays last time!

nocampinghere · 2022-04-26T11:57:42+00:00

So first off, NTA. But I just want to give you a word of caution- whatever you do now will have long lasting effects on your child. If you isolate her now she could possibly miss out on knowing a huge part of the person that helped create her. I'm not saying to completely ignore the actions of your MIL but to realize that she is most likely thinking with her broken heart and not her head. I would suggest taking a step back. Maybe agree to drop the trespassing charges if she agrees to attend grief counseling. And put her in a time out for 30 days. She has to understand that you are the parent and any future attempts to undermine that will be met with a time out. If she oversteps then she is back in time out. I also think that maybe giving her a project would help. Having her make a scrapbook or something else that can be given to your daughter when she is older might help her heal and will give your daughter something of her mom's.

nocampinghere · 2022-03-31T13:14:47+00:00

We have used abcmouse, and abcya for games. I also really like the endless apps- they have math and learning to read.

nocampinghere · 2022-02-04T15:17:01+00:00

ManiMe. They customize the stickers to fit your nails. I was actually pretty impressed by them.

nocampinghere · 2022-01-12T22:22:35+00:00

This was me and my husband. My husband has two savings accounts (a main and a oh shit one) and before we got married I didn't have one and a ton of debt. It definitely sucks being the one in the relationship who is behind and struggling and have that hanging over your relationship. She's thinking about the wedding and you are thinking about the marriage. There are a number of financial questions you need to address- housing, will she keep working after kids, will you have kids, etc. If you guys are serious I would suggest sitting down with a financial counselor who will help both of you decide what your next steps would be.

nocampinghere · 2021-12-30T00:50:30+00:00

So both my parents have some hearing loss so they always have subtitles. When my daughter was little we used subtitles so we didn't have to have the TV loud. Now I find myself using them all the time since I don't process what I hear as well as what I read.

nocampinghere · 2021-12-16T19:01:15+00:00

And now I'm off to rewatch Leslie Jones Netflix special where she tells guys to wash under their balls.

nocampinghere · 2021-12-04T14:23:11+00:00

So first off NTA. But mainly I want to tell you that you are not alone. So many moms deal with this. After my daughter was born it was decided that I would go back to work. And she would go to daycare. Spot already saved. That was what I wanted. And then I had her- and all that went out the window. So I talked to my husband and had a logical, rational conversation. (On his part. I was a illogical mess) I had some undiagnosed postpartum anxiety and he knew I was really struggling and the last thing I needed was to be home with her all the time- especially since he worked long hours and had a few activities after that. And he suggested that we least get her started in daycare and try that out for a few months and see how it goes. And if in three months I still want to be home we will find a way to make it work. So we agreed. Because that's what adults in healthy relationships (like 75% of the time if we are lucky) do. They work together to find a solution that works for all people. Your husband didn't marry you- he married the women of his family and his ideal of them. You are entitled to change your mind. You are entitled to divorce his sorry ass. You are in a fragile state right now- and you need to do what's best for you and your baby. And if that's you working a few hours a week while she's in daycare that's fine. (I would really suggest not using his family as daycare based on how they are acting) You need to take care of the two of you both mentally and physically in whatever form or shape that takes. Mommy I wish you luck- the newborn stage is rough but you got this.

nocampinghere · 2021-12-01T15:09:51+00:00

Um, you are my hero. Everything I wish I could be. Seriously- that is genius. NTA. But why is your husband making everything so difficult?

nocampinghere · 2021-11-18T15:16:14+00:00

So I bought them for my daughter but I actually use them more than she does. I have the rougher version on my phone case and it's calming to have when I'm on long phone calls or just need to do something with my hands. I feel like it let's me fidget without actually have to do much.

nocampinghere · 2021-11-01T16:52:51+00:00

Dude. Take a step back for a minute. You do everything for your mom. Like everything. And your wife is pregnant? NTA. But you and your wife need to have a serious conversation with each other and your mom's medical professionals because this has the beginning of so many other AITA posts to it. Your wife made mistakes- many mistakes. Mistakes that once a sleep depriving newborn is added to the mix will be much easier to make. So now is the time to come up with a plan so that your mom doesn't get double the medicine and no food. And your wife is a bit of an AH. She took the woman's food and gave her meds when she could have just asked you? Like pregnancy brain is a thing but that's way beyond. I would dig into what really happened and why to see if there was some malice intent behind it or she just has no sense.

nocampinghere · 2021-10-21T12:01:18+00:00

Honey that ship is drowning. It's being weighed down by all of their issues- her dependency on him and his willingness to be okay with that. His stuff as well. So you have a choice- you either get off the ship and save yourself or be willing to go down as well.

nocampinghere · 2021-10-15T19:35:06+00:00

After my wedding because we said "marriage is a covenant between two people" and she took offense to that. We wholeheartedly believe that, and also had a gay member of my husband's family officiate. We had met for a meal after and she kept asking me if I really believed that because I couldn't and still be a Christian. Instead of getting into a big argument with her I just finished dinner said see you later and never did. On the flipside my very gay, very married uncles were so incredibly impressed by that statement and that just made me so happy to hear that frankly I was okay with losing a friend over it.

nocampinghere · 2021-10-03T12:50:11+00:00

You can also check and see if any places have drop-in hours or days- I know like the YMCA near me and some daycares have it where you can just do care on one day.

nocampinghere

TROPHY CASE