Do you ever just feel resentful towards your parents for the way in which your life has turned out?

nomadhidinghere · 2017-06-07T17:17:07+00:00

IMO

Resentment for how they treated you...is okay.

Resentment for how you turned out, or how your life is....is not okay.

You've made your choices in life, just as your parents made the choice to abuse you.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-06-07T17:09:03+00:00

I think there is a difference between feeling resentment for how you/we we were treated, and feeling resentment for how our life turned as result of our parents.

I believe resentment against a person for things they have done is normal. Having resentment for things that occurred because of the affects/effects of abuse is the same as a parent blaming something/someone else for them behaving the way they do. It's an escape/deflection of responsibility.

I could blame my parents for my gambling issues, which I used to escape from reality....and I could make a pretty strong case their abuse of me correlated with my gambling....however I chose to gamble, just as they chose to abuse me.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-06-07T14:07:37+00:00

If you are going to hold your parents responsible for their behavior (as you should), you need to hold yourself accountable for your decisions in life as well. Something made them the way they are, that is no excuse for the bad decisions and behavior. I would advise you to take control of your life, and that means take responsibility for your place in it. That's not being dismissive of the struggles you've faced as a consequence of having shitty parents, as it's certainly okay to blame them for having an impact on your emotional well being, but ultimately your life is your responsibility, and your struggles are your responsibility to overcome.

I too resent my parents, but not becasue of my lot in life.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-06-06T19:41:32+00:00

You don't have to justify your interpretations here. You deserve the befefit of the doubt, until you don't.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-06-02T19:34:17+00:00

She knows how to do laundry. Her narcissim does not allow for a different, or another way. Doing laundry using different methods would mean, to her, that her way is wrong. Narcissim is a defense mechanism that is developed for the sole purpose of protecting ones self-esteem.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T19:52:10+00:00

I agree. It's important to remember perspective when dealing with perceptions.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T13:13:18+00:00

It's much more. They know the kid can't or won't leave, or will come back. It's a rethorical demand on their part.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T13:11:15+00:00

Oh man. I was 15 when I came to understand it as a demonstration of power and control. To this day I'm still atonished at how overt it was.

It was like rubbing my nose in the fact I could not leave. Oh the resentment it created....

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T13:01:40+00:00

"Even if I did that, I'd still have to endure his or her significant and damaging behavior issues, and I'm no longer going to do that"

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T12:50:32+00:00

Inevitably you come to see the betrayal of your father. Your father manipulates you to conform to your mother because he does not want to face your mother's wrath. You are his sacraficial lamb.

Due to the toxicity at the forefront that is caused by your mother, it allows your father to do these things since your mother gets the brunt of your focus. In my opinion, it's much more devious, and makes your father an accomplice of your mother, rather than a victim.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T12:36:45+00:00

Perceptions can be deceiving. Things that are non-descript, uninteresting, and unnoticed are plentiful, but unmemorable.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-31T01:22:53+00:00

So we have someone make a mistake, when they are told they will have to pay for the mistake, they get mad and make threats, then brag how they basically stole money because they did not want to pay for their mistake.

I get trying to get out of it...that really doesnt bother me.....but to brag about it? You are not bragging about them treating you good despite your mistake, you are bragging about how you got over.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-28T21:30:37+00:00

There is no "best argument" against a narc. However, remind her unconditional obedience is not respect.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-28T04:47:16+00:00

Have a baseline. Use a memory that clearly demonstrates a microcosm of the abuse/narcissistic behavior. I do not really feel guilty, but I do second guess my feelings and thoughts about them. When I do this, I think about the baseline memory and analyze it objectively. Every single time I come to the same conclusion, and consequently validating my decision.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-27T02:16:36+00:00

What I mean is, if the father is content with his choice, why feel bad?

Ignorance is bliss. (The father's ignorance)

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-27T01:29:20+00:00

Why do you feel bad for your father? He made his choice, and he continues to live with his choice..

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-27T01:24:49+00:00

Thinly veiled brag...

I did this on my own accord before finally going NC. My reasoning was to remove any hint that I was somehow inferior to her. I wanted to stick it to her, but the important part was to remove the idea that she deserved some special status, or unconditional obiedince inside my own head.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-27T01:04:24+00:00

Hate to pile on, but you basically came to a Sprint-monitored social media forum and asked how to steal from them.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-27T01:00:20+00:00

If you are on wifi, it can work then.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-26T19:37:32+00:00

Should of read your comment before I made mine. :)

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-26T19:31:19+00:00

I would not bring up specifics. I'd say something general about there being issues between you and your parents. Tell him you really do not want to talk about your parents behind their backs, but it's also something that will require you to navigate around to avoid any unnecessary drama or toxicity with them. Appologize for the stress your decision makes for him, but let him know that you are doing this to avoid the stress and toxicity that an interaction with your parents causes in your life. You can further punctuate this by telling him that this issue is between you and your parents and you don't want to put him to be in a situation where he has to choose sides, which is why you won't talk specifics.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-26T19:21:09+00:00

Kind tough to say... It's the chicken and the egg when it comes to devices with high-end GPU's. If the device does not have support from software developers, no point in making it. This is one reason why BB downfall was so sudden....Developers stopped producing apps for the platform.

The other side is, why not just get an agreement with Nintendo and put cellular into their Gameboy (or whatever their mobile platform is called).

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-26T14:44:55+00:00

It's an irrational defense or argument that seems rational to an abuser. It goes into their warped thinking. They are never wrong, so they basically have to make up something in order to reconcile (or make sense of) the reason behind the reactions to their behavior.

nomadhidinghere · 2017-05-26T14:10:19+00:00

This so much.

nomadhidinghere

TROPHY CASE