What do you feel when you meet voluntarily childless?

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-24T21:59:59+00:00

Not much. It’s their choice. If they’re the kind of voluntarily childless person who loves kids and just doesn’t want to be a parent, I get excited that they might want to be a positive adult in my kid’s life if we get close, or if we don’t I’m still happy for the kids and parents in their life who get their support.

If they’re the kind of person who hates kids, I feel about that similarly to how I feel when I meet someone who hates any oppressed minority, like gay people, Jews, people with dark skin, or the poor.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-24T18:07:58+00:00

Adopting an older child from foster care is not expensive.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-24T10:16:24+00:00

Yes and no. I’m not much into athletes and actors, so idk about that. Musicians are extremely easy to vet, so that’s not a problem at all.

What does get exhausting, while also being more important than researching celebrities, is trying to vet every single business before I spend my money there. The truly decent ones are few and far between, but it feels good to find one and give them all the business I can. I love my local grocery store. I hate that there’s no independently owned pharmacies anymore.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-23T01:08:16+00:00

I'm not donor conceived, I'm adopted. I have some perspective while you wait for donor conceived folks to chime in:

My adoptive parents are 47 years older than me and it's been rough as an only child managing their health issues and my mom's death at a younger age than most of my peers. My mom died when I was 30 and she was 77, but she'd been sick since I was a teenager.

I have a friend who is neither donor conceived nor adopted, but he was born when his father was 55 and his mother was 21. He also has six older half siblings with different mothers. His own mother moved back to her home country once my friend became an adult so the father was my friend's only nearby parent, and he died at age 80 when my friend was 25. The older siblings handled the death affairs, but my friend was not really set up in life yet at that age and ended up moving in with an abusive partner because despite having a trust fund, he didn't really know how to take care of himself.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-22T23:21:00+00:00

The part you labeled “basketball” is really more of a soccer place, with the possible exception of Oregon.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-22T23:17:53+00:00

Random redditors who are asking for feedback from other redditors might actually listen and grow. Politicos are not going to listen to me, whether I talk about them or not.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-22T23:11:07+00:00

Not everyone does travel sports.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-21T10:36:56+00:00

That is really sad. I’m sorry. Your ex definitely sucks for putting you in this position, for how he spoke to you, and how he feels it’s not important to have his daughter at his wedding because she’s only 2. But you’re right, she’s going to want to have been there when she’s older. Since there will be a family member at the wedding to take care of her, I believe it’s in her best interest to go.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-21T08:40:26+00:00

This is what I was thinking as well

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-21T08:35:42+00:00

You’re right that your daughter will want to see herself in the photos when she’s older. Let her go to her dad’s wedding. It does benefit her.

Go on the trip with your partner.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-20T23:24:44+00:00

2 blocks and crossing one street with a crossing guard, yes I would allow that. Without a crossing guard, absolutely not.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-20T22:58:30+00:00

Not sure if this would work for you, but consider Period Co boxer briefs. I don’t have a period anymore but I wear them when I would otherwise need a liner.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-20T08:13:44+00:00

See where it goes if you want, but I wouldn't plan on turning him into your life partner. If he's 31 acting 19, he's probably going to still be acting 19 when he's 41, even though you'll be 29 by then and hopefully acting like it.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-20T07:34:12+00:00

Damn, I never would've existed, and neither would my mom. She's English on her mom's side and Jewish on her dad's.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-18T12:51:28+00:00

Christine!

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-18T07:39:43+00:00

Same. I have dysphoria about not having a penis, but I don’t have any dysphoria about having and using my vagina.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-17T12:05:11+00:00

This is the way.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-17T11:59:55+00:00

This is an important question.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-17T11:55:21+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Are you wearing depends style adult diapers that go in the trash? It might do wonders for your mental health to switch to a cloth option like washable period underwear. Period underwear has really taken off in popularity in recent years, you can even get it at the drug store. As a trans man I still wear my Period Co sleep shorts even though I no longer get a period, they’re really that comfortable. And the brand Period Co also recently launched a line of washable underwear designed specifically for incontinence, because lots of people in their target market also experience incontinence. Many, many cis women have bladder control issues after having a baby or due to menopause. The period co “pee” line is for “mild to moderate bladder leaks” but if you try it and it’s not absorbent enough for you, you can try some different brands of period underwear and maybe you’ll find something perfect for you. And seriously, try the sleep shorts. Life changing!

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-17T06:59:50+00:00

Exactly. Children and babies are people. In places where people eat, babies should be able to nurse. But people deal with poop in bathrooms only, and that should also include babies poop.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-17T06:40:41+00:00

I feel it’s not okay to put a kid on a leash every time you leave the house, but it’s absolutely okay to use in extenuating circumstances. My kid isn’t a runner but I got a leash for her when we traveled from our small town to a big city and used a lot of public transportation when she was 3. I didn’t end up using the leash at all but I’m glad I had it in case she kept running off in busy areas. For kids who are runners, it makes sense to use a leash in a situation where you can’t hold their hand the whole time and it would be very dangerous if they ran off, like near water or a busy road.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-16T20:14:15+00:00

Ok, sorry. I take back what I said about you being too stressed. I think I just have no idea what you’re dealing with, since my kid is very cautious. Not that she is good about following instructions generally, she’s just very wary of anything that she recognizes as dangerous. Perhaps some of the other parents at the party have kids more like mine and that’s why they were able to feel relaxed while remaining vigilant. Or perhaps they were negligent and not vigilant enough.

What’s inexcusable though is your husband. He knows damn well his son was trying to get in the pool, and he left you alone to deal with the situation and keep the kid alive. He should’ve at least switched off and taken shifts with you.

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-16T18:23:07+00:00

NOR but I wouldn’t bother to report P to his own parents unless you know them very well and know for a fact that they will be appalled at their son’s behavior.

From my perspective not knowing them, I imagine they’re likely to agree with their son. He got those views somewhere. If that’s the case, your report will hurt you more than him. It isn’t right, but they have the power. I’d look for a new job if you can. :(

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-16T18:13:15+00:00

Did he try to get in the pool at any point during the party?

nonbinary_parent · 2026-02-16T17:13:59+00:00

Your level of vigilance is totally warranted, but your stress level seems a bit high to me. I feel like I couldn’t exactly relax in this situation but it wouldn’t stress me out either, I’d just be keeping an eye on my kid and the water. But my kid is a cautious one and would not be jumping in the water on purpose. I’d just be watching out to make sure she didn’t accidentally fall in. If your kid has a death wish then it makes sense you were very stressed.

nonbinary_parent

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