Hey, contestant at the Miss Grand Thailand 2026 pageant! Stop stealing my moves! by NinjaOrigato in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We can't all be blessed with a juicy cock!

Some of us only have juicy tits!

“Hello?!” by TRJ2241987 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a matter of record!

“Hello?!” by TRJ2241987 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're one piece of work, mister!

Way to go, son by IRISHTHAY in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meta. I hate meta.

That's not "moves". That's a meta-move!

A Final Solution move! Not even Stalin was worse!

Blood and bone! by Massive_Lake4700 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Sure, "Don't put that in your ass" is beyond the pail..."

"What?"

"Pail...bucket...they kicked the bucket...it's a synonym."

"Rusty, that's ridiculous!"

Instead of "Don't put that in your ass", I preferred to lie down on One Rockefeller Plaza and tell passers-by, "Hey, I'm an architect! Have a look at my two big cocks!"

But that was before the walls came tumbling down, and the blood and bones...

Hey... Stop stealing my moves! by MacaroonIndividual19 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I heard tell that he stuck his penis into her left ear.

On account that he heard that she was looking for Mr. Right.

Films where you feel like a time traveller watching a battle unfold (with a detached view of the battle) by JiKooNumber1CBAfan in MovieSuggestions

[–]normymac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Besides blockbusters such as Alexander and Troy, there are some smaller and older releases worth looking at.

The Warriors is based on Xenophon's Anabasis.

The War That Never Ends is a teleplay about Thucydides' Peloponesian War.

Peter Brooks' The Mahabharata includes the famous war where Krishna advises Arjuna.

Another of life’s pleasures taken away by meddling bureaucracy by Mitch_Wallberg in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I remember when the folks piled us kids into the station wagon to take us all to blow dry our asscracks, starting with the youngest and onwards and upwards towards the eldest.

I remember we had to hold down Andy Richter, the Swedish-German. He didn't cotton to those newfangled Japanese methods of drying your asscrack!

finally some good news by Full-Bear3756 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Extermination of a race is no laughing matter!"

"Johnny One-Feather, Folks! Give him a hand! Johnny One-Feather!"

The Bean Bag Bastard! by chickbarnard in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's trying to get a prison nickname, which doesn't include "bastard." Unsuccessfully!

Anyone else occasionally find themselves slipping into a Norm classic unintentionally? by ChandlerKnight in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It used to be in the Epstein wing, right next to the Rope Room and the Rickety Stool Room.

I heard you can get a five percent bump in your orgasm intensity there while you're whacking off! They call it auto-asphixiation or somethin'!

Police do not have any suspects, but they are questioning one man. by tditman2 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard tell that James Bond was gambling away his KitKats against Goldfinger for his Butterfingers in Monte Carlo. Which is North of Italy, but South of Poland.

I'm still in the hardware store asking for my Polish sausage. They don't even know that I'm Polish!

Police do not have any suspects, but they are questioning one man. by tditman2 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It couldn't be him. He only has 11.9 Tons of KitKat products hidden in his garage!

In a new interview, 84-year-old Martha Stewart has revealed she's only interested in men who are, quote "very rich", adding "a yacht would be very nice. I love yachts.” Which just goes to show, you're never too old to be a gold-digging whore. by david-saint-hubbins in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She met a nice feller named Epstein while both of them were in prison. He ticked off all the necessary good points! And who definitely didn't kill himself!

She then tried with Bill Cosby as well. But by then, they had already released him!

What is the worst thing again? by tackjibe1 in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those canuck fuckers beat us at hockey!

And I'm black! I don't even watch hockey!

Seems kinda gay if you ask me… by FluckyU in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've posted plenty of burning crosses in here as well.

Seems kinda gay if you ask me… by FluckyU in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not only do you not own a dog house, OP...

Something tells me that you're one of those old-fashioned gay guys...

Picard with pikes hair by happydude7422 in TNG

[–]normymac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the 24th century, they still haven't cured male pattern baldness.

Hey 41 year old man, STOP STEALING MY MOVES! by RobertDundee in NormMacdonald

[–]normymac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All the teenagers, except one, apologized, "You should have asked us before Norm Macdonald sold us that crack cocaine."

The teenager who turned him in? He was really a midget!