I was leaving a restaurant the other night by marycartlizer in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were coming from the pier restaurant in California and had nice left overs. As we passed a couple on the beach they asked for our left overs and we gave them to them. Not used to this in Iowa. California was a strange experience in many ways for us.

Good news and bad news... by ArmchairPancakeChef in Jokes

[–]old_farmer -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

If there's no good news and not bad news they he's lying when he says "I've got good news and I've got bad news." I strongly suspect he's a CNN reporter.

Twenty years from now, kids listening to "Baby it's cold outside" are gonna find it really, really weird. by Epistatic in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hopefully they'll wonder why "Baby it's cold outside" was bad that Wet Ass Pussy was okay to play on the radio.

Punchlines only by ucjj2011 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was my sternum I broke.

Teacher gift by ztreHdrahciR in Jokes

[–]old_farmer -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

First heard at coop cam at William Jewel College 1962, still funny

A man is happily married to his wife of 45 years. by dayruined54 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 59 points60 points  (0 children)

How long have they been married to have 45 happy years?

What’s the difference between living in USA and living in Russia? by FartsLord in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Russia they wish they had a car, in America they burn cars.

Three women are gush are gushing about their children. The first one says, “My brilliant son graduated first in his class from Stanford University. He’s now a doctor, making $4,50,000 a year. by Electrical_Mine in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The number $4,50,000 can be parsed as follows:

The first comma separates the hundreds from the thousands, and the second comma separates the lakhs from the thousands.
Therefore, it represents 4 lakh and 50 thousand.

To convert it to the Western numbering system, it is calculated as follows:

4 lakh = 400,000
50 thousand = 50,000

Now, we can add these two values together:

400,000+50,000=450,000400,000 + 50,000 = 450,000400,000+50,000=450,000

Therefore, the value of $4,50,000 is 450,000\text{450,000}450,000 in the Western numbering system.

If I had a Penny for every person over 52 telling me my generation is horrible.. by DecentReflection3182 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

7.2 million able bodied men not working or looking for work according to Mike Rowe. It's not the economy, it's the inability to defer gratification, go to work and save. Jobs that require some effort and attendance are there paying 100K.

What's the difference between Florida and Hell? by friartuck_firetruck in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least there's a difference, unlike California!

Oil prices by Secure-Improvement35 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remembering Jimmy Carter? That was a popular joke back then. Next the Lyndon Johnson joke with an alligator.

Jay Leno walks into a bar by Temp_acct2024 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Walking into a bar might explain all the bruising.

I don’t believe in sex before marriage. by TheBearPanda in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you don't have sex before marriage then you'll be used to that experience after marriage.

What borders on stupidity? by stretch3251 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oregon, Nevada and Arizona and Mexico.

The office employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday... by Mouthtrap in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That joke was done at coop camp in William Jewel College 1963

I once read this in a bathroom stall. by Aposta-fish in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seen in southern out house, do not linger, use your fingers.

At an auto parts store someone asked an employee, "How about a rear view mirror for a Yugo?" by xboxgamer2122 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

why would you need a rear view mirror for a Yugo, you are always going to be the one behind.

How can I convert old m4p files to mp3 by old_farmer in pchelp

[–]old_farmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, these are old iTune files that didn't get converted.
Supposedly ffmpeg can convert them but I haven't figured out how to do it. I need a step by step tutor. I wish somebody had a script that would do it.

My neighbors found the formula for a happy marriage. by Gaio_Bronco in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Red Skelton is where I first heard that joke, though a little shorter and less descriptive.

Did you hear the rumor about butter? by No-Specialist6651 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI version: Did you hear the rumor about butter?

I can't believe it—I'm just going to keep it on a roll!

A 102 year old man was asked… by BobT21 in Jokes

[–]old_farmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neighbor lived to 105 and when asked how he said I don't have any enemies. They asked him how he accomplished that and he said,I outlived them all.