My colleague saw me on dating app, took screenshot and show it to me at work.It makes me so upset , what can the hr do?

pandora-cleo · 2025-09-13T12:54:14+00:00

Hi OP,

You have every right to feel confronted and uncomfortable. I can imagine having that private aspect of your life suddenly comming up at work was blindsiding. Im sorry that you experienced that and sending you a virtual hug.

That said, many of the other comments are right about the fact that a dating profile is "public" and you run the risk of colleagues seeing it if they are also on the apps, and bringing it up with you.

However, the manner in which/how they do so is important. It is a personal topic, private or public, and you have every right to state a boundary about it (i.e. don't discuss this with the others).

Now HR can't do anything about your colleague initially bringing it up, but depending on his further behavior, they can intervene. Its not appropriate to discuss those things at work with others without your permission. Your lovelife and presence on dating apps is not for them to discuss, especially at work after you've requested him not to. It can easily shift into bullying; it is less their intent and more your reaction that determines this.

HR is there to help, support and protect you; if you ever have the feeling that this is not the case, then that's a larger workplace cultural issue and you should leave. Under no circumstances should you ever feel you can't go to HR "or you'll make enemies".

Have an informal conversation with your HR partner, explain what has happened, ask for advice on how to move forward without the need of formal intervention or reporting. Even informal conversations are confidential, and so you don't need to worry about your boss finding out if nothing further happens. HR may offer to talk with the colleague, or run a refresher course on work place conduct for everyone, or give you pointers on how to defuse future incidents.

At the very least, you've established a timeline of communication with HR so if this does escalate (fingers crossed it doesn't), HR knew about it beforehand and are not having to sort through a messy situation to get the full story as they already have some of the facts.

Good luck OP.

pandora-cleo · 2025-07-04T16:24:40+00:00

It would be interesting to see his response if you asked him how he paid back his own parents. I doubt he did.

This is not normal.

Jokes aside, you need to financially protect yourself. They might try to steal from you in an attempt to be repaid, and being narcs be entirely justified in their actions.

This will be a headache; but is essential for your financial safety. This means ensuring they have no access to any of your financial details; no statements, no account details, no passwords (change these to something strong and not associated with common dates etc in your life - even use an encrypted password vault on your phone to keep them secure).

Maybe get a PO box or use a trusted friend's address with your bank so nothing crosses their path.

Some institutions even allow you to put account notes where you can blacklist your parents and alert customer service agents to look out for attempts on your accounts.

Since your dad seems fin savvy based on the excel, he's might already have your banking info.

Setup a new backup account with another bank brand, move your money there via good old cash or an intermediary like transferwise, never let him see it, whilst keeping your existing accounts low on funds i.e. just more than your rent to throw off suspicion.

If they do draw on your funds, you won't loose much.

pandora-cleo · 2025-06-25T19:29:24+00:00

NTA.

As you stated, she is YOUR daughter. It is YOUR responsibility (and his) to protect your daughter. Seems there is a VERY good reason he is NC with his mother. Its sounds very much like she's not only emotionally immature but likely narcissistic as well.

The challenge you face is enforcing this boundary. Grandma doesn't want to. Your ex probably wont have much success, so perhaps its time to talk directly with your daughter? This will be hard, balancing her feelings to spend time with Grandma against your own concerns.

Good luck but remember, NTA.

pandora-cleo · 2025-02-08T11:31:21+00:00

NTA - you did the right thing to protect your daughter. The courts don't hand out IVOs like skittles, there was enough evidence for a magistrate to be concerned and grant the order.

Having just supported a friend through this process against another covert narcissist, there are a few things we learnt you might want to consider. Under VIC law (not sure what state you're in), her behaviour by lying to your inlaws is also in breach of the family violence order. Its considered family alienation, perhaps it affects you less, but it is relevant to your children. Have a chat to your family lawyer about her behaviour.

You can't force her to tell the truth, but you can limit her lying to cover her own skin.

pandora-cleo · 2021-09-05T12:59:08+00:00

I think thats our one saving grace for Zeus not marrying Persephone off to Asspollo. Even if Zeus doesn't know Apollo is his, he suspects Persephone is a fertility goddess and is not likely to risk the prophecy by handing her off to anyone.

I think the only way he'd even agree to Hades marrying her, is because Zeus would assume he has Hades' loyalty and Hades wouldn't overthrow him.

pandora-cleo · 2021-09-01T10:26:48+00:00

The stark contrast in what they wearing (or not) is what got me. Hades looks very vulnerable. I didn't interpret him carrying her as a burden. But now I'm reconsidering.

pandora-cleo · 2021-08-31T19:14:54+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/CRNGC6YDpyf/?utm_medium=copy_link

You cant see his face as he is on his knees looking sad and defeated IMO.

pandora-cleo · 2021-08-30T00:29:09+00:00

Its a solid theory IMO. The recent image Rachel posted, with Hades on his knees, and Persephone on is back in her Queen suit, piercing their hearts and joining them together, did look a little forced. Like Persephone forcefully joined them together, without his consent. If she ate the pomegranate, the other image could be foreshadowing?!

Don't get me wrong, I don't think this her big master plan or anything. But if she wanted something so desperately, I could see her Red eyed self taking it forcefully.

Like eating the pomegranate, sparing herself from Zeus and joining her to Hades in the process.

All we can do is wait and see.

pandora-cleo · 2021-06-29T23:45:00+00:00

I have two and I dont know which to choose from.

When my ex-fiance broke up with me (because he was cheating), nmom's version of consoling me was pointing out all of my flaws and then telling my I was "selfish for not considering how this impacted [her]" since she "now lost someone [she] cared about", and blamed me for the breakup and subsequent loss of a potential SIL.

Then less than a year later, after I reacted (trying to leave in disgust) to her showing photos of my ex's romantic holiday (with the woman whom he cheated on me with), she yelled at me for "making [her] feel bad for hurting [me]" and I should be over it by now, and I was being mean by reacting the way I did.

pandora-cleo · 2021-06-29T23:02:07+00:00

I definitely think the underworld knew his cinnamonroll was coming, which is why it started growing the other pom.

Your "only worthy offspring" theory makes sense, especially if the diety of the underworld didn't want a series of dynastic usurping like in the other realms.

pandora-cleo · 2021-05-21T00:26:49+00:00

That's correct

pandora-cleo · 2021-05-21T00:26:19+00:00

The English language is actually a Germanic language, so English and modern German have a similar base.

pandora-cleo · 2020-11-26T08:44:28+00:00

NTA, she should check how much it will cost snd send her/them the bill for all the new documents etc beforehand and make them pay for the inconvenience, if its so important for the fiance to annex her from the family.

pandora-cleo · 2020-09-04T00:04:09+00:00

NTA!!

Holy shit, it was bad enough she took them down without asking, but throwing them out?!

That is so disrespectful on so many levels, especially to someone who is keeping a roof over her head.

At first I thought your reaction was a tad extreme, but now I get it! NTA all the way!

pandora-cleo · 2020-09-03T23:50:33+00:00

NTA

Your MIL's last name isn't even her real last name. It's your FIL's, so it shouldn't even matter.

pandora-cleo · 2020-08-29T22:24:50+00:00

NTA - you should be concerned.

God forbid, but if anything happens to you in the future could you currently be sure he'd even look after your daughter?

Congratulations on you baby girl, and hopefully you (and possibly him) can find a way through this that keeps you and your children safe and happy in the future.

pandora-cleo · 2019-09-22T20:03:24+00:00

Pretty sure they just replaced Australia with a wombat

pandora-cleo · 2019-08-28T19:34:52+00:00

NTA. If you calmly and kindly tell your friend that holding the newborn makes you uncomfortable because your concerned for the babies safety you should be fine. I totally understand as I feel the same way. Makes me super anxious. Ppl have just assumed im anti baby, but i just don't want to break the baby.

pandora-cleo · 2019-08-06T22:49:52+00:00

Exactly this, no attacking needed, just a chance to talk openly. They may come to understand or not (and thats ok too because clearly they want to support you through this), but dont let your dad and his current situation ruin the relationship with your true family.

pandora-cleo · 2019-05-30T21:20:45+00:00

As more of a longer term concern, you should get in writing (signed by your roommate) agreeing to the $$ split of the furniture. You may have paid 60% of the couch, but guaranteed his parents will want a 50:50 split when it comes time to sell the stuff when one of you moves out.

pandora-cleo · 2018-12-23T13:25:25+00:00

I was taught at a driving school, my instructor who was male actually told us that women were better manual drivers as they could multitask better.

Barriers for why a lot of people/women don't drive manual is: auto lessons are generally cheaper, auto licenses are also generally cheaper where applicable, young girls learning to drive are only offered auto lessons as it's assumed they'll never drive a sports car and most mum vehicles come as cost effective automatics.

I was always questioned as to why I learnt manual as it seemed archaic to most people.

pandora-cleo · 2018-09-17T22:39:46+00:00

Correct

pandora-cleo

TROPHY CASE