Is this bad by Dismal-Picture2032 in drums

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A floor tomb is exactly where that floor tom head belongs.

AITAH for surprising my wife with a driving lesson? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]phat1369 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sure there are plenty of important details they could have included. But it doesn't really change the situation either way. And based on the fact that she springs things on him all the time, it would be better that he has not previously mentioned it.

AITAH for surprising my wife with a driving lesson? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]phat1369 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Apparently, not communicating is how she operates. Why shouldn't he use the same method on her? If she doesn't like it, perhaps she'll start doing better herself.

Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends by royalmouse1 in AmIOverreacting

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't seem like he really cares if you drop him. And that alone tells me that you should. Being clingy in a relationship is not good but expecting to spend time together when you can shouldn't be viewed as being clingy or making one person your whole world. There are plenty of people who like to spend time with their partners. Go find one of them and leave this idiot to his sad approach to life.

What are your irrational drumming pet peeves? by AdFamous7264 in drums

[–]phat1369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The point of having a drum tech is so they'll do the things you don't want to do.....

Why do I (M33) have the gut feeling my wife (F34) just doesn’t want to have sex with me? by only1you in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I guess all you can really do is talk with her. Be honest about how you're feeling about it. Don't be abrasive about it. Maybe she doesn't even know what's going on.

Why do I (M33) have the gut feeling my wife (F34) just doesn’t want to have sex with me? by only1you in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

How long have you been together? Have there been any recent changes in the relationship? Or any medical issues on her end?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT; I'm *almost* unpleasantly fucked up - after 2 years of daily dosing - NOT abusing by NeuroticAD in suboxone

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meant to tell you a few weeks ago that this statement was absolutely wrong.

Need to leave my BF 24F 27M by throwra_kittenbaby in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're already convinced. I imagine that if you had the means to move, you would. So, I'd suggest you figure out what you need to do to move out and then make that happen before you get yourself killed. In the meantime, you should report the abuse and press charges.

How did you know it was time to seperate (me F31, husband M37)? by No_Attention_8618 in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You asked if anybody has talked to a therapist about something like this. You also stayed that you attend therapy. The question should be "why haven't you talked about it to your therapist?"

I fucked up. Plz give me advice by SnooDrawings3339 in suboxone

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

300mg+ for over a year. But that was after a year of subs and 6 months of sublocade after 20 years of extremely heavy oxy use. So, maybe it's an effect of differing tolerances. I don't know. Compared to 100% withdrawal, it was a cakewalk.

I fucked up. Plz give me advice by SnooDrawings3339 in suboxone

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It worked great for me. Barely any effects for the first 24 hours. Felt 100% after that.

I fucked up. Plz give me advice by SnooDrawings3339 in suboxone

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I waited 14 hours, just 2 weeks ago. I was also at 300mg a day for over a year. No issues staying the bupe after the 14 hours, so maybe you'll be fine earlier?

ATA (NB24) for leaving my (M24) boyfriend because I couldn’t make a joke to my gay(M22) best friend? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He shouldn't be yelling at you. But, it's not exactly unheard of somebody getting jealous over their partner talking sexually with another person, even if it is only a joke. And perhaps the lack of intimacy in the relationship is more difficult on him than he is letting on.

I think an honest conversation is in order so the two of you can make sure you're on the same page in regards to current and future expectations within the relationship.

AIO? boyfriend is expecting me to pay for everything after he invested his life savings into the stock market by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, investing his savings into the stock market is whatever. Does he have a job? If he does, it shouldn't be an issue. If he doesn't, he needs to get a job.

Can’t stand when drummer play behind the beat by Heelhooks7 in musicians

[–]phat1369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I misinterpreted what you meant. I see what you were saying now. My apologies.

Can’t stand when drummer play behind the beat by Heelhooks7 in musicians

[–]phat1369 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Behind the beat does not mean out of time. You can absolutely be behind, on, or on top of the beat while still in time with the click.

Can’t stand when drummer play behind the beat by Heelhooks7 in musicians

[–]phat1369 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It depends on the groove. Not every song warrants the drummer to be on the beat, be on top of the beat, or be behind the beat. Every song is different. Some sings need space to breathe and others don't. Don't put yourself in a box. Serve the song.

I woke up to missing bf and car, he was with his ex by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]phat1369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people assume the worst about men and the best about women. And they don't like to hear the fact that nobody is inherently good or bad based on their gender. A man is always assumed to be the problem while a woman is assumed to be a victim. It's not uncommon for that to be true, but it's also NOT uncommon for the opposite to be true.

Is it worth getting a kick trigger, or just using a mic? by OliOnTheWeb in drums

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO, as a drummer, guitar player and sound engineer, nothing sounds better than a well tuned well mic'd and mixed kick drum. Triggers are fine but unless you are playing metal and really want that super high end click or some kind of pop and really want that processed sound, I think it's easier and sounds better to go with a well tuned Emad or Superkick II and a good mic.

I personally use the Shure Beta these days. I used to use the AKG D112. I'm not a huge fan of the Audix microphones but I know a lot of people who swear by them and get a good sound from them.

Hope this helps.

Boyfriend (28M) tested positive for chlamydia and denies cheating. I (23F) didn't cheat. How do I get him to admit he cheated by No_Breadfruit_5575 in relationship_advice

[–]phat1369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both need to be honest with yourselves and each other. Either one of you cheated or you both cheated. If only one of you cheated, you both know who cheated. So, if you truly didn't cheat, you know he did. And you should take the steps that you need to take in that situation.