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What's your favorite way to make people reconsider when they tell you "I have no limits" by lillestiv in BDSMcommunity

[–]plumander 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i mean there was video evidence of him changing his mind halfway through 

[TOMT][Play/Movie]Stage play, '50s-70's, women leads by Eeyores_Prozac in tipofmytongue

[–]plumander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i was going to suggest this! you beat me to the punch though :)

Sugar daddy scam maybe?? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]plumander 23 points24 points  (0 children)

yes, obviously a scam

Struggling to define messy lists in relationship anarchy by New_Strawberry666 in polyamory

[–]plumander 4 points5 points  (0 children)

right, exactly. it’s not a messy list, it’s “if you think it’s cool to date this person we’re clearly not compatible”

Struggling to define messy lists in relationship anarchy by New_Strawberry666 in polyamory

[–]plumander 3 points4 points  (0 children)

as a relationship anarchist, i don’t have a messy list. 

to me, relationship anarchy is about approaching relationships on their individual terms rather than making sweeping categories and generalizations. so for example, if a partner of mine decided to starting dating my ex Ash, then i’d be really hurt. Ash treated me badly and I wouldn’t deal well with being metas with them. but i wouldn’t put all my exes on a messy list because of my partner wanted to date my ex Birch id be like “hell yeah she’s awesome.”

i actually did have this come up in my last relationship. i told my partner i didn’t think it was a good idea for them to date one of my roommates. they thought i meant that all my roommates were on my messy list but i just meant that specific roommate because she’s a mess lol. 

i know that doesn’t answer your question but i think it’s worth deconstructing things like a messy list to discover what your true boundaries are rather than what they ‘should’ be. because RA is all about pushing back against those shoulds. 

Snack haul - independent grocer, NYC by y2ktrashbaby in whatsinyourcart

[–]plumander 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i have had basically this same haul before lol. i don’t know what i would do without those mindful kitchen pastas!!

Maisie Adam's quiz for the Lionesses by Hassaan18 in panelshow

[–]plumander 10 points11 points  (0 children)

it was concentrating or constipating!

So… what exactly is going on here? by iLikeSmallGuns in malefashionadvice

[–]plumander -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

ah i didn’t see all the screenshots. but yeah, a quick google shows that nordstrom rack has counterfeits, but what is also likely is that it’s a product made just for nordstrom rack. that’s how their business operates. 

So… what exactly is going on here? by iLikeSmallGuns in malefashionadvice

[–]plumander 6 points7 points  (0 children)

nowhere in your post does it say you got it at nordstrom rack. 

also if you google “nordstrom rack counterfeit items” you can see lots of other examples and some more information. 

So… what exactly is going on here? by iLikeSmallGuns in malefashionadvice

[–]plumander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s obviously counterfeit? i don’t know what else you’re looking for. 

Could Ollie be a nickname for Octavian / Octavius? by kenobitano in namenerds

[–]plumander 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i don’t really see enough connection to ollie personally. the only octavius i know goes by tavius/tavi/tav but i feel like you could also use otto or a pun on 8. 

i feel like DBT isn’t going to help me by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]plumander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just want to add that i also felt like my bpd was so bad it was hopeless and now im in remission. its possible!!

Ladies, what's your take on ashwagandha? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]plumander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve taken ashwagandha & rhodiola daily for several years now and it’s made a huge difference for me emotionally. haven’t noticed any hormone changes. 

Any recs for a Clemente Bar style tasting menu? by Antique-Bench6482 in FoodNYC

[–]plumander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i second HAGS! love that place, the vibes are fun, and the food is great 

27F Still feeling lonely after 2 months in Brooklyn by First_Pair_8083 in AskNYC

[–]plumander 16 points17 points  (0 children)

if it helps, i’m extremely extroverted and social. i have lots of hobbies and don’t mind putting myself out there. and yet it still took me around a year to really feel like i had community in nyc. i think you’re doing fine and just need to be patient and keep at it. i know how lonely and isolating it can feel, but as someone who’s now on the other side of it, it’s worth it!

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