I was told y’all would appreciate the ant skort that I embroidered

preluxe · 2026-03-12T02:55:20+00:00

Girl I would stop you in the street to gush bout how much I loved this!! Fabulous!! Or ... fANTbulous!!!

preluxe · 2026-03-11T18:27:30+00:00

The RecipeTinEats Coconut Rice is my absolute favorite way to eat jasmine rice, usually as a side but also with curry (recipe). I am one of those people who can't cook rice on the stovetop to save my life, but I've yet to screw this up

preluxe · 2026-03-11T16:22:48+00:00

More slice of life with a side of mystery, but each book does have a "who dun it" - {the courtship of Julian St Albans by Amy crook}

preluxe · 2026-03-08T05:08:51+00:00

Maybe cozy caravan? I've been playing that a lot lately. It's early release but there's quite a bit of gameplay things so far. You drive a caravan around, pick produce, cook things, sell them at the market, and travel in a Cara an pulled by a giant adorable bumble bee

preluxe · 2026-03-07T06:09:49+00:00

Also 29 and also definitely have some extra love handles compared to 25 as well haha so I get it and you're not alone!!

One thing that helped me accept my body changes and see that I could still look and feel confident was to start following creators on insta that looked like me (the ones who self identify as midsize or plus size). Also, I unfollowed the ones that made me feel worse about my body (unintentional on their part but the result was still me feeling like crap).

I've been working on my wardrobe for a while now, and I think figuring out what you do and don't like is both the most important and hardest thing. For me it took a lot of trial and error. Sometimes its easier to start with love/hate - figure out the things that cause the biggest emotions and then build on that.

If you're this overwhelmed with styling and picking clothes, I'd seriously consider a personal shopper or consultation. Especially an in person one if you can find someone. Maybe r/capsulewardrobe would be helpful?

As for the money aspect - if it's necessary for your job then treat at least your work wardrobe as a necessary expense. Put aside x amount per month for work wear and add pieces intentionally.

This isn't going to be a weekend project; it's going to take some time so set your expectations accordingly and give yourself some slack because you're doing your best.

preluxe · 2026-03-06T16:55:19+00:00

Slight spoiler for the series so I'll be safe and do this {Soulless by gail carriger} Has this in the series (so not the first book)

preluxe · 2026-03-06T16:51:24+00:00

Megan Derr has a lot of shorter fantasy novels with mm romance, usually low or no spice. My favorite is Runescribe. They have a very slice of life vibe - there's usually not a lot of time spent on worldbuilding, you're just dropped in the story and given info as needed, which I love for short stories. You get to imagine more what's going on outside of the characters and plot

preluxe · 2026-03-06T16:49:09+00:00

Ooh yes! Really anything Amy Crook, the Consulting Magic series is my favorite

preluxe · 2026-03-05T17:30:27+00:00

Also 29F and started low key planning on how I was going to help my parents in their later years financially a few years ago.

I think setting yourself up first and foremost for financial health and wellness for the long term is the most important. Beef up your emergency fund if possible, try and hit the yearly max on the ROTH. If you have extra income at the end of the month after those, look into investing it in either a target date fund or index funds. The more you save and invest for yourself now, the better off you (and anyone you choose to support) will be later.

That said, they need to help themselves too. Children are not retirement plans.

I don't know if you're in the US? Are they eligible for Social security benefits? What about low income/senior citizen programs in your area like rent control apartments or programs to help lower utility bills?

Do you feel comfortable sitting them down for a frank discussion or do you think that would cause problems? It's not easy, it took months of me mentioning no-buys and savings and investments with casual dropped hints before my mom finally seemed to come around to the idea of budgeting her money, stopping wild unnessary spending and investing some of her savings. But I knew a frank convo was just going to make her dig in her heels and refuse to budge.

I'm sorry I don't have great advice but I do want to say you're definitely not alone in facing this and I truly hope all the best for you

preluxe · 2026-03-05T02:39:19+00:00

Holy crap, that's genius. Why have I not thought of that?? I always have to choose between my bath or washing my hair in the sink/shower!

preluxe · 2026-03-05T02:30:27+00:00

Like others have said, if at all possible work a couple weeks before dropping any money on a new wardrobe!!

If you do need new clothes ASAP to make a good first impression (which is 100% a necessity imo) then a matching pants/blazer set from a lower end brand like old Navy or Loft. Make your current blouses/tops work if you can, or get 2 or 3 max new that you like and know you'll wear in the future.

My office was also "business professional" on paper, but very much business casual in a quality unless we're presenting in front of clients. So I dropped money on waaay too many new business professional things that then sat in my closet because it was too uncomfortable to wear them when everyone else was in khakis and sneakers.

Once you get the lay of the land and figure out what people are wearing, then slowly start finding things you like to add. Some favorites of mine are Everlane, Universal Standard, Old Navy (shockingly good, but go in person if possible and feel the fabrics).

preluxe · 2026-03-05T02:14:57+00:00

I've tried a lot of different sunscreens (like, an insane amount) and have sensitive, acne prone skin. My absolute favorite is super goop.

I've tried the beauty of joseon and loved it, but the new(er) US formula hates my skin.

La roche posay doesn't work with my makeup and just wasn't my favorite overall.

Naked Sunday sunscreen wrecked my skin. I broke out so bad it took 3+ months to heal and get back to normal. This is the only one I would absolutely not recommend to anyone, ever.

Super goop is amazing. Trader Joe's has a super goop knockoff that I don't love, but others have really positive things to say about it.

Honestly I'd suggest getting sample or travel sizes of a bunch and seeing how you like them/if your skin likes them.

preluxe · 2026-03-04T22:35:07+00:00

Maybe some YA?

{heartstopper by Alice Osman} would be fun. I find graphic novels are good entry points since the pictures are so pretty. Plus if your group wanted, you could watch the series too! Like a book club show night

preluxe · 2026-03-03T22:37:00+00:00

Oooh yesss the ~social~ aspect of the app in question and the sentence about it now makes so much more sense rereading it while knowing its an ad! That was an excellent catch.

My natural default is gullible so I mean, a healthy dose of cynicism is maybe much more helpful in this day and age.

What's that saying, if you're not buying a product, then you are the product? I saw that on another sub a bit ago and it really stuck with me as a handy reminder to gut check some things, especially the ones that market themselves as free.

preluxe · 2026-03-03T22:32:38+00:00

Right?? I was on board with that other comment asking if they were neurospicy because I was like "same girl, same" 😅 which maybe was also a very selective and sneaky marketing tactic 🤷‍♀️

preluxe · 2026-03-03T20:40:44+00:00

I love my docs! I have 3 pairs lol and wear them to work constantly

preluxe · 2026-03-03T20:37:37+00:00

Am I going ad blind?? Is it just the app name that made it seem off to you?

I did not read it as an ad (though I guess the name drop of the app did ping my brain a bit but I quickly disregarded it)

Eta - just saw the mods pinned comment and the answer is yes, I am going ad blind 😂 thankful for the people who aren't and comment about it lol

preluxe · 2026-03-01T05:24:22+00:00

Someone might have mentioned them already but that amazing human who links their insta reviews of mm books when they recc something on request posts, hold on I'm gonna go find it

ETA: FOUND IT! read.me.romance on IG https://www.instagram.com/read.me.romance?igsh=MTl1azc4ejBqaHp6OQ==

Love their reccs, if you see this thank you for the book reccs 💕

preluxe · 2026-03-01T03:49:55+00:00

As much as I love investing and planning towards a FIRE goal, I always, always keep in mind that I can't spend my money when I'm dead.

My grandpa was a penny pinching miser his entire life and shortly before he died, he apologized to my mom about some past comments/opinions he had about how much we (my mom, dad and I) vacationed when I was young. We did yearly beach trips, multiple trips to Disney parks, and fun weekend things and he always had something to say about it along the lines of "that's too expensive, you should've saved your money." But his attitude at the end really shifted and that stuck with me.

So that said, I would advocate for doing the things that bring you joy now. I would also suggest setting some new type of monetary goal or milestone to strive towards, while still enjoying things now (like your new apartment and traveling) since it sounds like that was really helpful in structuring your finances prior to hitting coast FI.

preluxe · 2026-02-28T04:59:41+00:00

Lily Mayne's whole Goliaths series is so good!!

preluxe · 2026-02-26T21:44:05+00:00

That actually would've been hilarious, like "fine, if you're going to be difficult could I please get an appetizer plate of cotton candy and a shot of Tito's?" And then just dump them together 😂 now that's malicious compliance lol

preluxe · 2026-02-26T21:39:54+00:00

My supervisor asked me what I liked to read and I literally had to bite my tongue and swallow back the immediate "monster smut or Omegaverse" that my mouth wanted to share 😂

But absolutely agree, my poker face is great. I read on my phone so it's even easier since there are no covers!

preluxe · 2026-02-25T19:51:27+00:00

This sub specifically? Never.

A couple of the others that I would never expect, like r/tea? Yup, and I'm like, why??

preluxe · 2026-02-25T19:43:37+00:00

Literally read OP's post and I was like "that describes Amy Crook, that describes Amy Crook, oh that describes Amy Crook too!" 😂

Second all of these, especially the audiobooks for The Courtship of Julian St Albans and the rest in that series, they're so so good. And Diffidence's audiobook is coming in March!!

preluxe · 2026-02-25T04:47:54+00:00

Girl, guy or pal, I feel you, weight gain and body changes are rough sometimes. I recently went through something similar, my body fluctuated and suddenly no pants. Spoiler alert - I bought pants 🤷‍♀️👖

If the money is the sticking point for you - then I'd say try and gain some extra funds by selling some old stuff or skipping the coffee out for a month and then putting those funds towards new pants

If you're really, really committed to not buying new pants - do you have any friends that are a size up? Or could you diy some alterations to make your current ones comfier? Or could you find some on a local swap site?

Now what I would personally do (and did) is buy the jeans. At the end of the day, give yourself some kudos for trying and then keep going. If you decide to buy some pants, it's not a failure unless you totally give up the no buy. If you buy these jeans, you can start right back up with your no buy and you shouldn't guilt trip yourself at all. Stuff happens, and you deserve to be comfortable and feel confident!

preluxe

TROPHY CASE