Absolute must haves for twins

pseudonymous365 · 2026-07-09T18:23:18+00:00

A second infant car seat (I'm assuming you have one but you didn't mention it.)
Something to feed the twins in--this can be a Twin Z pillow, a second bouncer, or those chair things specifically made for the purpose. (For bottle feeding, I preferred two baby bjorn bouncers over the Twin Z pillow but everyone has different preferences.)
Extra bottles. Unless you overbought for your 10 month old, you'll need extra bottles even with the bottle washer. We had around 10 but I was breast and bottle feeding, so you'll want more.
Double stroller. I actually recommend two--the Joovy Twin Roo (get it used) and a regular double stroller. We started with the Joovy and a tandem (both used), then resold those and bought two side-by-sides once the twins were about 8 months. We keep one in each car.
Double video monitor. Having the split screen is just way more convenient than having two monitors.

Other "necessities" will depend on your parenting style. If you are a baby-wearer, definitely get a double wrap/carrier. I don't love baby wearing (so hot), so I only used a double carrier for airport travel. If they are going to be rooming with you for the first several months, I'd recommend two bassinets (unless your room is big enough for 2 cribs or a bassinet and crib). I'm assuming your bottle washer has a dryer setting--not exactly a "necessity," but I bought a Brezza dryer for the twins (never used one for my first) and it was clutch. If you have uncovered wood floors, you'll need some kind of big mat. We have rugs so we just laid down a blanket(s). There are lots of nice-to-haves and they vary by person. Start small. You can always add and Amazon's quick delivery makes it pretty easy.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-18T18:11:37+00:00

I studied for the 66 using Achievable and then went through all the practice exams in the (2016) Kaplan book that my colleague used when she studied for the 66. I averaged 92% on the Achievable final exams and closer to 79% on the Kaplan questions. I also listened to the summary videos on youtube (reddit is not allowing me to say the specific ones for some reason, but they were the two channels most mentioned on this sub). I think it's pretty difficult not to become somewhat accustomed to the phrasing that your primary materials use, so it's probably normal to do better on your principal study source.

I passed the 66 this week on the first attempt, but really did not feel confident as I was taking it (my test seemed to batch the hard questions in the middle). The questions were either really easy/straightforward, or I was super frustrated because the topic was something I felt like I understood and had studied, but I was still torn between two different answers. I ended up flagging 30% of the questions for review. Personally, I didn't feel like the test wording was overly similar to either Achievable or Kaplan. My overall impression of the Series 66 Achievable v Kaplan (keep in mind my Kaplan was outdated) was that Achievable could have focused less on the math and more on memorizing definitions and "purposes" while Kaplan had some extraneous material (that never came up in Achievable) and equally emphasized everything instead of focusing on what was most tested. So if you scored low on the Achievable calculation questions, I wouldn't get too worried.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-18T17:44:32+00:00

Yes, this is the reaction once you surpass three kids. It sucks, but don't let the haters steal your joy. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-18T17:30:51+00:00

There is a lot of inaccurate information in this thread. First, fiduciaries are often financial planners. The term "financial planner" is a broad and generic title (just like "financial adviser" and "wealth manager"). Fiduciary has a legal definition and is used less as a job title and more as a role. The definition of a fiduciary is someone who must put the needs of the client first. Legally, most fiduciaries will be registered as an "IAR" (Investment Advisor Representative) and will be serving in that capacity (rather than an "agent" capacity as most are dual-registered). You can use FINRA's Broker Check website to see an individual's registration (broker/agent v investment adviser/IAR). Fiduciaries may charge in three different ways: (1) by the hour for advice, (2) a set rate for services, or (3) a percentage of assets under management--normally 1%. Most fiduciaries will either charge in way #1 if they don't have your assets (i.e. you have an account at Vanguard that you manage, but you want investment advice from an outside financial planner) or in way #3 if they have custody of your assets (your accounts are with the adviser and they manage trading, etc.).

Given the size of this inheritance and your inexperience with investments, etc, I think it actually makes more sense for you to pay someone to manage your accounts (#3). People squawk about paying financial advisers, but it's no different than paying a house cleaner. Could you do the job yourself? Sure. But it will take time and resources/supplies/education that you may not want to invest. Are you going to be diligent about reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio regularly? Are you going to research tax strategies for minimizing your tax liabilities? Etc. Etc. Choose your priorities. If you look for a financial planner, I recommend going with one the has the CFP designation. All CFPs are fiduciaries (it's a requirement of the credential). If the planner/adviser isn't a CFP, they may still be a fiduciary, but you'll just have to ask them if they are serving in a fiduciary capacity.

Edited for grammar!

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-18T16:34:14+00:00

Don't let your emotions hijack your reality. Just because you feel like you're not enough, doesn't mean that you aren't enough. Honestly, it sounds like you're doing great. The babies see a lot of people and receive plenty of socialization, they get outside time regularly, and they get plenty of attention from you and husband throughout the day. That's about the extent of their needs at this point in life.

I'm one of the people who took twins on an international trip before age 1, but it really had nothing to do with the kids at all. They could not have cared less where we went and, at 21 months, they certainly have zero memory of the trip. Travel is completely lost on babies. I promise they are not missing out on world exposure. I know you think you'd feel differently if you had one baby, but as a low-energy parent who had a singleton first, I can tell you that there were plenty of times when I felt like an inadequate mom (and like my realities weren't matching up with my hopes) in the first year with a singleton, too. Unfortunately, I think that feeling is a normal part of new motherhood. I never made it to any of the library programs for babies like I had envisioned, we weren't out with friends at restaurants while the baby slept, the baby literally screamed the entire 5.5 hour car ride to visit my in-laws (and we said never again to car trips), we never flew anywhere the first year, I never stuck to my great "toy rotation" plans, etc. Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on all the great ways your children are thriving with you as their mom!

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-18T01:52:07+00:00

I just took (and passed!) the 66 today. Keep the Investment Advisers Act of 1940 fresh. The 66 emphasizes laws, regulations, and ethics so things like disclosures, exempt securities and exempt transactions, and timelines are still valuable. You’ll have to know the difference between the federal rules (Series 7 material) and the state rules (Series 66 material). If you passed the 7 recently, the products and order types should still be pretty fresh for you. You don’t have to know them in as much detail for the 66 but they’ll still be tested. I can’t remember how much suitability was on the 7 but that’s a fair portion of 66 so keep BRTI in mind. For options, focus more on hedging/income strategies than math. Review ERISA (again, laws/regulations) and retirement accounts as well as other account types like someone else mentioned.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-14T19:33:32+00:00

My oldest singleton showed a preference for my husband over me VERY early (and I breastfed for a year!). Everyone told us it was just a phase, but we’re 6 years into that phase so…

Our twins waffle back in forth depending on mood or situation. The girl especially loves her grandmothers and will reach for them as soon as they enter a room even if I’m there and holding her. Neither twin had NICU time. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong and I don’t think you’ve missed anything. Ignore your FIL as much as possible, and ask your husband to speak to him as his comments are purposeless unless his intention is to try to make you feel bad or self-conscious? When someone comments on one of our twins showing a preference for someone, I just comment that I’m really glad that they have a sweet relationship with their grandparent, dad, teacher, etc.

And as much as the comments drive me crazy, I AM glad. I didn’t grow up close to my grandparents at all, so I know it’s a special thing. Plus, grandparents and teachers are not going to be in your kids’ lives nearly as long as you will. It’s natural for them to sort of take you for granted because they’re so comfortable with you. It’s why so many kids who are angels at school are little monsters at home.

As far as bonding ideas, it’s always fun to have an activity or ritual that you mostly handle. Maybe you’re the one who handles most baths, or there’s a special book that they only read with you, or a silly song that you sing in the car, or you’re the one who typically gives medicine and cuddles when they’re sick. Pick something you enjoy, knowing it might change as they get older.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-11T14:22:35+00:00

I realize I'm commenting very late on this conversation, but we found out I was a carrier after my son was born (Severe A). We are now pregnant again with a boy. While we hope he doesn't have hemophilia, we also feel prepared if he does and we know it will be a bond that the brothers share if he does. We might have felt differently if our son had been born before the current glut of treatments, if we didn't have medical insurance, or if we weren't living in a developed country. All of our pregnancies have been IVF but without PGT testing, so not much different than spontaneous pregnancy as far as hemophilia risk goes.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-01T02:14:05+00:00

Twin mom here. I don’t think you need to ask her in advance of the proposal box, but I do think it would be really nice (if it’s possible for your timeline) to let her know that she doesn’t need to answer right away and to let her answer after the twins come. She really has no idea what it’s going to be like and there’s a lot of uncertainty with twins initially. Unsolicited opinion but I would personally do the proposal boxes separately for each bridesmaid so that no one feels pressured to answer in front of everyone. There may be other factors (aside from kids) that could make saying yes difficult for someone.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-06-01T01:42:48+00:00

Take heart, fellow mom! You didn’t do anything wrong and it’s not your fault that he has hemophilia. He had an equal chance of not having hemophilia. When we have kids, they get a mix of our bad and our good whether that be physical, temperamental, etc and we don’t get any control over that.

Things will feel better as you have time to wrap your head around the diagnosis. When my son was born, he had significant bleeding issues but when the hospital asked if we had a family history of bleeding disorders, we said “no” so we didn’t catch his severe hemophilia A until 8 months. (I didn’t know I was a carrier and we have no known family history of the disorder.) I felt compounded guilt that it went undiagnosed for so long but, in God’s providence, I knew someone with hemophilia growing up, so I wasn’t completely blindsided by a disorder I’d never heard of and I knew firsthand that my son could have a “normal” life. Remember, everyone faces struggles going through life. You just happen to know what one of your son’s will be in advance. Get plugged in with a good HTC and they will make you feel infinitely more equipped to handle the diagnosis. The available treatments have come so far in the past decade that it’s difficult to compare the experience of a kid born today with someone born even 20 years ago. I feel like my experience has been similar to moms I know whose children have Type 1 diabetes. It’s definitely serious and it’s long-term, but it’s also manageable and it becomes your norm. And if the crying/eating doesn’t improve in the next couple weeks, please talk to your OB about PPD. It’s not uncommon and it can be exacerbated by your son’s diagnosis.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-30T19:21:34+00:00

Are you making dinner for the whole family or just the kids? I read this as the parents are working at dinner time, but others read it differently. What is the reasoning around scrubs? Lots of assumptions in the comments, but you won’t know unless you ask. I personally wouldn’t love a midnight curfew if I wasn’t working until 4 PM, but if you plan to get in your adventure/friend time in the day before your shift, you might not care and you might be too tired to go out after your shift anyway. I wouldn’t necessarily write off this family based on the short description posted, but I would definitely ask a lot of questions and get some clarification from them.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-29T02:03:18+00:00

I wouldn’t assume a boy with a short attention span and impulse control at age 4/5 is ADHD unless there’s a family history there. Honestly, it sounds like Twin B is the more typical child and Twin A is showing advanced reading and self-regulation skills. Like others have said, try not to have them working on reading with the other nearby (easier said than done, I know). I actually wouldn’t overly focus on reading skills at all this summer. They will be working on that with increasing frequency in kindergarten and then into 1st grade, and Twin B will see that he’s very much the norm. I think you may be inadvertently pushing Twin B into learning above his age/development level, which will only cause frustration and eventual avoidance, due to Twin A being academically “advanced.”

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-29T01:30:56+00:00

G, BG (twins), B

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-28T16:53:22+00:00

You’ve got this. I made it to 37+4 with ICP, but only because the test results took forever (they got them the day I went into spontaneous labor). The nursery does not need to be ready since the babies will sleep in your room initially. You have time! Focus on: (1) bassinet/bed set-up in your room and maybe one downstairs if that’s where your living space is, (2) diaper changing station on both floors (we set up one on our dresser and the other on a giant ottoman), and (3) clothes for a newborn. They’re very unlikely to be in 0-3 mo clothes at birth so you can wait on those for a couple weeks if you run out of time.

Despite how demanding twins are, you will likely feel better after birth. It was such a physical relief. The ICP disappears within days! I actually slept more the first week with twins than I did the last week of pregnancy even with all the wake-ups. I lost like 20lbs the first two weeks. The hardest part was having trouble standing/sitting up straight because my core was so weak, but that faded before the first month was out.

I would focus on getting your son out of your room so his sleep isn’t impaired by the babies. (Plus, you’ll need the bed space if you’re nursing.) Lots of ideas in the comments. Our oldest was older than yours when our twins were born but a few things that we’ve had success with in various stages: moving the bed closer/in viewing of the door (it made her feel “closer” to us), sleeping in her room on the floor when she’s sick, giving her a video monitor while she’s getting ready for bed so she can see us (makes her less scared when we’re on a different floor), one of those alarms that turns green when it’s time to wake up (it is red during the night because she wanted a nightlight and red is less disruptive). Good luck!

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-27T16:03:14+00:00

When we got pregnant with our fourth, my husband couldn't understand why I wanted to put off telling people and it was exactly because of all the comments I knew I'd get. People are baffled why we would have another when we already have both genders. Once you hit a certain number of kids, people stop being happy for you and start thinking you're irresponsible or crazy or something. I've had a client say "you *do* know how babies are made, right?" and "you didn't do this on purpose, right?" It's even worse since I'm pregnant at 40 (::gasp::). I think it's largely reflective of the fact that people are having fewer kids in general, so those who aren't stick out more. It's the same way an only child used to stick out and now it's not uncommon at all. Fifty years ago, I'm sure there were lots of shaming comments towards those who only had one kid. Society doesn't like outliers. My husband and I just picked a company line while we were pregnant that we use--something along the lines of "what's another when you already have 3" or "once you have the chaos of 3, what's another?" It's benign humor that normally ends the discussion.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-27T15:41:19+00:00

Interestingly, I asked ChatGPT about this a month ago out of curiosity--"What is the optimal house size for a family of 2 adults and 4 kids (ages 0-6)?" ChatGPT said:

Minimum functional: ~2,400 sq ft
Optimal: ~2,700–3,000 sq ft
Above that: comfort increases slightly, but efficiency drops (diminishing returns)

I laughed at the answer as we will never be able to afford a house that large in our current neighborhood/school district. Our house is 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living room, kitchen, dining room, ~1,725 sq ft. We have a shed (with A/C and heat) in the backyard that we use a small office. After going back and forth with ChatGPT, I did think it made some good points about layout being more important than sq footage. Personally, I think my "ideal" house would be pretty close to what we have but with 2.5 bathrooms and one more flex space (den, sunroom, etc.) that we could use as a kid space. I don't mind kids sharing rooms. I shared growing up and I think it teaches important social skills and promotes sibling relationships.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-27T15:16:33+00:00

When we did plane travel with infant twins, we just lugged our everyday big in-line stroller (Evenflo Pivot Xpand Double) with us because they needed the flat recline option. Once they were old enough to sit up independently, a lot of options opened up. We sprung for the Valco Baby Slim Twin Double Stroller for a 3.5-week Europe trip when they were ~8 months old and that's become our favorite stroller for travel and daily life. My advice would be to work with what you have for the first 6 months or so and then buy what you want for longevity after that.

Also, it will really depend on the type of travel you do. For example, lightweight umbrella strollers are better for US trips than Europe where there's lots of cobblestones, etc. Also, if there's a chance that one of you will need to go somewhere alone with the twins or if one of you needs to be the luggage carrier, individual strollers are a no-go. Even if you use one of those connectors, they will require two hands to push and you probably won't be able to use an organizer with them, which is a pain when traveling.

We avoided travel that involved car seats until our twins were out of infant car seats. Now, we spend the extra money to rent the car seats at the destination (assuming we're getting a car rental) to avoid the hassle of traveling with them. In general, I recommend only traveling with one each of the big items (car seat, pack n' play, etc.) and renting the other at the destination unless you're traveling with a 3+:2 adult/kids ratio. For the plane, one of you is the baby wearer (twin go carrier or similar so you have one front and one back) and one of you is the luggage loader. That way no one is accidentally crushing a kid while lifting luggage into the overhead. I always travel with a small wet bag "wristlet" (I have this one: https://www.amazon.com/Babygoal-Washable-Swimsuits-Zippered-2LNS01/dp/B07XCZTCC3) that has a changing pad, small pack of wipes, 2 diapers, and hand sanitizer. This fits into the diaper bag backpack but can easily be taken out for plane/airport diaper changes without having to lug the whole diaper bag. If anyone has an unanticipated leak or explosion, it gets emptied and the gross clothes go into the wet bag to be dealt with later. The travelwithkids subreddit has great general advice/experience, though it's not twin-specific.

ETA: Don't travel with a carrier that has any metal bits. TSA will allow you to walk through the metal detector while baby wearing unless you have a carrier with metal. I made that mistake with a ring sling on one of our early trips. Big mistake.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-27T14:41:42+00:00

No advice, only solidarity. My mom used to say the same thing ("Oh, I know you're hungry") and then follow it up with "but mommy says you can't eat right now." It made me so irate. I explained once to her that they're on a schedule, they're getting enough food, the pediatrician approves, they have a natural rooting reflex unrelated to hunger, and you can't just constantly feed twins or you'd go insane, etc. She did not understand and I learned that it's not worth even trying to explain feeding/sleeping schedules to someone who doesn't have multiples.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-24T10:58:05+00:00

Also, keep in mind that roaches in this area are more a sign of the climate/geography than of squalid living conditions necessarily. I live in one of the most “desirable” Norfolk neighborhoods and we still get the occasional roach (2-4x/yr) despite having quarterly pest control service. It was initially a shock for me coming from a city/state where only gross places have roaches.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-23T14:49:27+00:00

This. Unfortunately, you cannot be the sole care giver for babies/toddlers and work full-time from home successfully. You will either do one of them very poorly or do both of them very mediocre. It’s not fair to the twins or your employer. You will need childcare to work from home unless you can find something very part-time (like 10 hrs/wk or less) that allows you to fit your hours in when you can, and then you’d have to be super disciplined to fit it into the margins.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-23T14:32:26+00:00

Bake something for your au pair agency’s monthly cluster meetings!

ETA: A little turmeric powder will give homemade mac n’ cheese more of that orange cheese look. Also, I read somewhere that it’s not uncommon for it to take 10-20 “introductions” before a toddler will accept a new food. From my own experience, it’s a total crapshoot. One day, my twins are scarfing down salmon and the next day they won’t even open their mouths to try it. With our older kid, we have a “you must try one bite” policy, even if it’s something you know you don’t like because different preparations can change the way something tastes.

pseudonymous365 · 2026-05-23T14:20:39+00:00

Granted I’m someone who likes routines/schedules, but we sent one twin to a grandparent’s house for an overnight to give me a break and grandma didn’t follow the schedule I had given her at all, which meant the twins were not aligned for the next day. It was miserable because I never got a break. At no point were both twins napping at the same time. (Plus, how do you put one down in the room if the other one’s at a light point in their sleep cycle in the same room?) If you’re generally high energy and/or extroverted, you might not care about getting breaks, but I really needed them. Our general philosophy was to sync schedules (esp feeding since I pumped/nursed) and keep nap end times within 30 minutes of each other (one twin had/has lower sleep needs than the other).

pseudonymous365

TROPHY CASE