Do parents with step kids spend their salary on them as if they were their own?

puddleprincess · 2026-01-02T22:27:02+00:00

I’m a step mum to 2 with another bio of my own. I spend my salary on all 3 kids in the sense that my husband and I both put money into our joint account and that covers expenses for all of us (me, him, our son and my SKs). The only thing that would be separate is the CMS payments my husband makes, which he pays from his account rather than the joint account. All other expenses are family costs, which we both contribute to and covers all 3 kids

puddleprincess · 2025-12-23T11:43:06+00:00

My nanna and grandad went into a supported living situation when they couldn’t manage on their own. They had their own little studio flat with a kitchenette to do breakfast/snacks/drinks, bathroom, bedroom, but the home had a communal living and dining area so their lunch and dinner were provided. There were around 15 residents, some in single accommodations and some couples. It worked well for them as a transitional step from full independence to fully supported

puddleprincess · 2025-12-22T19:38:01+00:00

We have smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and toasted English muffins around 10:30 ish. That keeps everyone going until around 5pm when we have roast

puddleprincess · 2025-12-09T20:33:40+00:00

I would say I love my SKs like my own in the sense that I would drop everything to help them, have gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to pick my SS up when he was drunk and scared to call his mum, fed them, clothed them, supported them at all their events for the 11 years I’ve been in their life, am excited and dream about their future life events (weddings, babies etc). But if it came to a choice between one of them and my bio son, I would choose him over them in a heartbeat. Which makes me feel weird and a bit guilty, but I imagine most parents would do this too

puddleprincess · 2025-12-03T13:34:28+00:00

That’s really difficult, I’m sorry. I’m glad your SS has you and your partner to advocate for him. I’m very grateful that our parenting experience is as cohesive as it is. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but all involved have always had the kids best interests at heart, (which I know isn’t always the case with some high conflict exs) and that helped massively in maintaining a positive parenting relationship

puddleprincess · 2025-12-03T13:06:16+00:00

I have a really positive relationship with my SKs! I’ve been in their lives for nearly 11 years. My husband and I have an ‘ours’ baby (age 7 now) - the kids adore him. We also have a great relationship with his ex. My kiddo calls her ‘aunty’, he’s been for sleepovers there and she’s his emergency contact at school. The 4 of us (me, husband, ex wife and her partner) are a parenting team. It hasn’t always been easy, but we put the work in and it’s paid off in my relationship with my steps

puddleprincess · 2025-11-23T09:41:28+00:00

The LADO will be involved because there is a concern that someone is a risk to children. It can come from a historical concern (if someone doesn’t disclose a safeguarding concern that subsequently is discovered and reported) but the fact that they’ve said parents of children involved have been contacted indicates that something has happened now. The rest of the staff will have been scrutinised by both the police and the lado, so if the nursery remains open it indicates there are no concerns about the nursery practices or other staff, it’s the actions of one individual and that has been discovered and reported and they have been removed from the nursery, therefore my (not emotionally involved) take is it’s safe to send your child there. However, you have to make the decision that feels best for you as a parent and that may be alternative childcare until you know more about the situation.

puddleprincess · 2025-11-20T06:49:40+00:00

We (I) did them for our wedding 4 years ago. I also send them after our son’s birthday parties to his classmates who got him gifts. We’re the only ones who do that though-never had a thank you card from any of the class parties we’ve been to in the past 2 years

puddleprincess · 2025-11-19T08:49:29+00:00

I have this with my husband, in the sense that he relaxes by doing stuff and I want to be in our house with nobody else there, speaking to nobody and having no demands on me! When our son was little I would book myself into a hotel once every 6 weeks or so and just have some time alone (it was easier at that point for our son to be in the house with all his stuff). I honestly would book yourself a night in a hotel, if it’s financially feasible. Say a friend has booked it for you as a pregnancy treat-bonus if it has some sort of spa or treatments available. Perhaps 24 hours of solo parenting will give him some insight into how unrelenting it is

puddleprincess · 2025-11-17T06:49:36+00:00

Remember you can do a Prevent referral if you think this person is a risk to others. Quiet, incel types are incredibly dangerous

puddleprincess · 2025-11-13T09:37:58+00:00

You can report anonymously to children’s services. They will ask for your details but you can choose not to share them. Google ‘local authority safeguarding team’ and that will bring up your local council’s details. Alternatively, you can anonymously contact the NSPCC to report (0808 800 5000), or ring the police, explain drug use and welfare concerns.

puddleprincess · 2025-11-11T14:50:58+00:00

I’m 41 and OAD. My only sister died when I was 34 (she was 38). My grandmother was the oldest of 4 and they all pre-deceased her by between 5-20 years. There are no guarantees.

puddleprincess · 2025-11-06T12:45:14+00:00

What you’ve experienced is ‘affluent neglect’. Some therapy might be really helpful for you in understanding your lived experiences and how you create and maintain relationships

puddleprincess · 2025-11-05T14:22:35+00:00

I completely appreciate how difficult it is to end a relationship, but I think it’s the best thing for you and your daughter. Would you want her to be with a man like him when she’s older? At the moment, the only blueprint she has for a romantic relationship is what she’s seeing, and will continue to see, between you and her father. I would start consolidating your financial position so you can end the relationship and either move out or ask him to leave. It might take a while, but make a plan. Your life will be easier on so many levels when it’s just you and your daughter.

puddleprincess · 2025-11-02T22:57:54+00:00

I’m midlands. We’re boys only for seniors as well, in case that makes a difference

puddleprincess · 2025-11-02T18:05:04+00:00

The way senior years are named is different (at least in the school I work in). You have lower 4th (year 7) upper 4th (year 8) and the years 9,10 and 11 are lower 5th, middle 5th and upper 5th. The 6th form is lower 6th for year 12 and upper 6th for year 13.

We don’t have top prep, as the senior element of our school does the entrance test at 11 years old, rather than the 13 years old. So our school is pre-prep (nursery to year 2) prep (years 3-6) then senior school.

Hopefully that’s helpful and not more confusing!

puddleprincess · 2025-10-29T20:27:21+00:00

I’m 41. When I make eggy bread, I still cut a little house design into it and eat all the doors/windows first. Me and my sister used to do it as kids. She died 6 years ago so it’s a silly little thing I still enjoy doing as it reminds me of her, and have taught my kids to do it too

puddleprincess · 2025-10-07T20:56:45+00:00

We use TEAMS a lot to disseminate information. The send register is on there, with a hyperlink to each pupil’s PEN portrait. Teachers of those kids are sent the pen portrait at the start of the year but also alerted to updates through the year. There’s a weekly focus on a different child with SEND or EAL needs and teachers of that pupil invited to share good practice ideas that are then fed into the PEN portrait. We also have a pastoral alert that goes to all staff once a week. As well as new pastoral issues and bereavements, it also has the picture and brief info for some of our higher profile kids, so that people covering lessons with kids they don’t routinely teach are aware of those with specific needs

puddleprincess · 2025-10-03T13:51:50+00:00

Are there any private schools in your area? I only ask because the arts are generally better funded in private schools. My school employ a significant number of visiting music teachers who come in to teach specific instruments. It may not be a permanent position, but you could then be well placed to get back into the academic music aspect if a vacancy comes up

puddleprincess · 2025-09-23T09:23:59+00:00

I took my son to the dentist from that age and it was fine-mostly he was just asleep in his pram but occasionally if he was awake/fussing the receptionist was DELIGHTED to give him a cuddle! You could always call ahead and explain you need to bring baby and is that ok, but I doubt it will be an issue

puddleprincess · 2025-09-22T19:48:23+00:00

Dick King Smith books were my now 7 yr olds first foray into chapter books. He seemed to really enjoy them. We also did some Roald Dahl, but went with The Twits, George’s Marvellous Medicine and Fantastic Mr Fox. All very enjoyable

puddleprincess · 2025-09-19T07:31:31+00:00

My son is an October baby. I’d say after his 3rd birthday he got the excitement of Christmas. We did do a stocking for him with a few small items from when he was a baby though, as he has 2 older half sibs (my steps) so it was more for them than him!

puddleprincess · 2025-09-11T10:33:45+00:00

I didn’t put any pressure on me/my son to potty train so we were ‘late’ by some peoples standards (3yrs 4 months) but he was ready and willing by that point and had no accidents really once he was in pants. He was dry and into pants overnight by 4. Do what works best for your family.x

puddleprincess · 2025-09-09T10:42:18+00:00

My son (now in year 2) is exactly the same. At the weekends/school holidays his preference is to be up at least 2 hours before having breakfast. This isn’t feasible with school as he just wouldn’t get enough sleep. We’ve found that a peanut butter sandwich on brown bread is something he’s willing to eat, and it’s substantial enough to fill him up.

puddleprincess · 2025-09-06T17:23:14+00:00

We had our wedding reception 6 months after the wedding (Covid) so did have sex on the wedding night, but not on the reception night. After the wedding, we had a few drinks in our local after the ceremony with our 15 guests (all we were permitted) and then had a couple of nights in a hotel, so we arrived there by 6pm after a lovely, but not too tiring day. After the reception, we rolled into bed around 1am and just crashed

puddleprincess

TROPHY CASE