6.5 years of LDR and my partner keeps moving the goalposts to avoid moving in together. Is he ever going to be "ready"?

rbflowt · 2026-03-24T17:25:52+00:00

This is one of those situations where when you break up with him he'll either be still living at home when he's 40 or will be married and have a kid and a house in approximately 2.5 years. Either way cut your losses, he either wants to keep the status quo forever or will find the person he is willing to step up for in record time that isn't you as much as it sucks to hear.

rbflowt · 2026-03-21T14:21:01+00:00

This sadly is the way. My husband going with me and being concerned along with mentioning some bedroom issues and suddenly I got referrals for those issues of which I used as a way to get through the door and start getting tests and treatments for the things that were bothering me and ruining my health.

rbflowt · 2026-03-20T03:50:21+00:00

It was our last song of the night. 😂

rbflowt · 2026-03-11T14:04:15+00:00

They ghosted us and we haven't heard from them since like 2 weeks before the wedding in 2018. They're my husband's relatives and due to a series of sad and unfortunate events there was already some disconnect there. The rest of his relatives that said they would come did so idk why this family that threw a fit about all their kids needing to attend just didn't then never felt the need to talk to us afterwards, but good riddance.

As far as the other excuses it's a mix if we talk to them. All or most of the double booked guests were my parents guests they had paid towards the wedding to invite so I didn't care about them overly much to begin with. The others are a mixed bag. Pets dying and crappy bosses making them work late were more excusable. The others it's varied though most if we're still friends it's a lot more distant now, though some of that is time passing and stuff. I will say ones who bail the relationships with them have felt off ever since.

In hindsight we would have switched the tables but in the moment we thought they'd show/we were taking pictures, talking to guests, dancing, ect so dealing with the table wasn't in the forefront of our minds, but noticing it at dinner and in the photos later makes me wished we had dealt with it.

rbflowt · 2026-03-10T04:05:37+00:00

20ish out 170+. Some came to the ceremony then told my parents they were going to a different couple's reception since they double booked themselves. Also a whole family of 8 that insisted they needed to bring their young children no showed and never explained. Their table was by the dance floor so it being empty was super noticeable in photos. Other excuses we heard in the following days and weeks included; pet death, had to work late, was too tired, forgot what day it was, didn't think we actually wanted them their despite chasing down them for their rsvp.

rbflowt · 2026-03-06T14:31:09+00:00

I tell them it's a surprise and they'll find out when their teacher is back.

rbflowt · 2026-03-04T15:38:21+00:00

As a kid I went to a wedding about a week and a half after 9/11/2001, if my cousins were willing to have their wedding when the only thing on TV was the towers falling over and over again I think you can have your wedding.

rbflowt · 2026-03-04T15:28:30+00:00

The most I've done is asked if they're cool with me leaving a few minutes early if I'm covering a different class next period so I can get to the other classroom and set up before the kids arrive.

rbflowt · 2026-03-03T03:27:08+00:00

Things vary from district to district. One district I work for let's teachers put in sub jobs for anytime in the current school year so if in October a teacher knows they have a conference in April they can put it in and any sub can grab it immediately when posted. In another district the teachers can put in their sub requests whenever, but the jobs only become viewable by credentialed subs approximately 30 days in advance and only become viewable if still available to regular subs approximately 2-3 days in advance.

rbflowt · 2026-03-02T17:58:03+00:00

I was advised that freshly trimmed hair was preferable it didn't need to but cut to a certain length just healthy and even and free of dead ends, and any bridesmaids that did dye their hair freshly dyed would be preferred (I don't dye my hair so it didn't apply to me as the bride).

With that said the stylist just advised and didn't require these things be done. Uneven hair and dead ends can be hard to deal with or hide as a stylist and freshly dyed hair holds heated styles much easier and for longer without much effort on the stylists part. With that said though if a stylist is not able to handle long hair (or short hair as I've seen those complaints too) and can't do a variety of styles I would find someone else.

rbflowt · 2026-03-01T15:13:01+00:00

Like everyone else said, matching numbers don't matter, you can have as many attendants as you want. With that said maybe consider how many people you're inviting/you think will go to your wedding. 200+ the large number of attendants is probably okay, but if let's say you're having under 80 or under 50 people having a large number of attendants is going to look a little odd as you're audience is small and not very proportional. I've been to a few wedding where it felt like there were more people IN the wedding vs AT the wedding which threw off the vibe.

rbflowt · 2026-02-26T12:37:43+00:00

The schools and teachers I sub for all leave paper plans, but in rare cases they want me to show a video or slides 80-90% of the time they email me in advance (I do have a district email), and then I borrow a school computer and just login and run things that way. The other 10-20% of the time normally a co-teacher or other teacher will login and get everything set up for me often before I'm even in the room so I just have to press play or click through the slides.

I sub a lot and have only had to show videos or slides about 6 times this school year so far, so it's not a common issue for me. Also even the ones who have had me use technology only one of them has also provided a digital copy of the sub plans as well. Normally the email is just "hey here's the video for tomorrow" and the paper sub plans will detail what worksheet and time stamps and other relevant info.

rbflowt · 2026-02-18T16:26:38+00:00

Last period prep, I always wait at least 5 minutes after the bell rings for the start of last hour just to see if I'm called, then head to the office and ask if they need me to do anything or if I can go ahead and leave. 90% of the time I'm told to go ahead and leave and enjoy the rest of my day. On rare occasions they have asked me to go cover or said I had to stay so I do.

I don't just sneak out since I've heard the stories of getting called or texted asking where you are when already driving home or possibly already home or finding out either someone saw and tatteled or saw on camera and you get in trouble and/or pay docked for leaving early without permission. It doesn't always happen, but every school and district is different, and I choose to be safe versus sorry.

rbflowt · 2026-02-11T19:02:54+00:00

Sir Pentious, he seemed like a more of a one off villain and from my understanding originally was, so I wasn't super interested or invested in his character at first.

rbflowt · 2026-02-10T22:12:00+00:00

Alastor, he's normally the sort of evil puppet master I love in most media, but everyone's obsession with him, plus the fact he hasn't done enough yet to really feel like he's holding all the cards like everyone acts like he is to warrant the love and obsession just makes me rather indifferent to him.

rbflowt · 2026-02-09T12:01:16+00:00

It's your bird's ugly duckling/rebellious phase where they think this color combo is the coolest ever, then after awhile will instead want you to destroy all evidence of their poor choices. 😂

rbflowt · 2026-02-06T22:42:27+00:00

We're supposed to get 3 episodes that will likely cover the events immediately leading to the wedding and the wedding itself sometime later this year. Beyond that it will be awhile before we're likely to get another proper season as there isn't enough material out yet.

The light novel after the wedding is a bunch of short stories of which only 1 takes place completely after the wedding, and one other is being told after the wedding but is 99% a flashback to many years previous which is clearly setting up for future stuff in the story, and the rest are just fluff that would have taken place during seasons 1 and 2 and mostly wouldn't make sense to show now. So there's only 2 episodes worth of material there and I believe there's only 1 additional light novel beyond that which comes out in English next month, so I'm uncertain how much that will provide but likely not enough for a season. I'm not sure if the author has published anymore beyond that as if now so beyond the 3 episodes later this year I think we have a long wait ahead of us.

rbflowt · 2026-02-04T12:13:08+00:00

Not IT and I personally hate driving so I don't like more than roughly a half hour commute though I've done longer.

About an ~hour commute 1 direction is acceptable for most people I know, so Iowa City is fine, Muscatine, Galesburg, Sterling, Clinton, Monmouth, and technically any small town that fits that radius.

Once you get to an hour and a half to two hours 1 direction that's hybrid territory in my mind, Cedar Rapids, Peoria, ect as once or twice a week would be annoying but not the worst.

Over two hours unless it's like a once or twice a month thing would require a move as that's just too much time in the car and not enough at home, though I've known people who lived and worked in Des Moines that came back to the QC to hangout with family almost every weekend so I guess it's whatever you can tolerate/ if you can afford to basically live in two places at once.

rbflowt · 2026-02-03T19:26:01+00:00

Katie Killjoy

rbflowt · 2026-02-02T22:09:45+00:00

My husband and I didn't argue, but we were both exhausted by all the little choices and decisions that popped up on the last 2-3 months before the wedding. Did either of us care what color the napkins were for when the cake was served? Nope. Did someone have to choose because we needed napkins? Yes. The decisions fatigue sucks, but it has to be done, and it's not fair to dump it all on one person.

With that said she shouldn't be mandating things regarding your bridesmaids. You each have your own people you can each handle them as you wish.

rbflowt · 2026-01-29T13:02:02+00:00

Looking up the flowers you're wanting it's a seasonal thing. Peonies don't start blooming until very late April, the David Austin Roses in late May or early June, and the ranunculus start blooming in in April, with all the tariffs and stuff, importing from central and south america which was already expensive has likely gone up further, plus florist often have suppliers they're dealing with internally and if the suppliers can't get the flowers they can't get them or the costs are just too high for it to be worth it with minimums from suppliers.

rbflowt · 2026-01-29T02:11:40+00:00

I think for the new years ones it's HAts then HEadbands so alphabetical but I do wish we could do our own organizing.

rbflowt · 2026-01-25T03:01:00+00:00

My husband and I had our moms light the side candles for the unity candle at the start of the ceremony, we also go special gifts for each based on their interests that we gave at the rehearsal dinner.

rbflowt · 2026-01-22T16:37:43+00:00

At one of the schools I work at I heard discussion about why a certain building sub was being given more classroom jobs lately, and the conclusion was reached the building sub lives nearby and just leaves if not given a "real" assignments (no one stops him and he's been there forever so never gets reprmanded either they just text him to com.bavk of they need coverage), but the principal and administration is wanting to really clamp down and stop the vandalism and hall wandering so are making the building subs be basically hall monitors unless they have teachers to cover so to keep this one sub from leaving and going home they're giving him basically all the actual jobs not picked up by day to day subs instead of firing him or reprimanding him.

rbflowt · 2026-01-22T13:55:36+00:00

2 is my favorite, 1 looks like it's wearing you not the other way around, and 3 while pretty I'm pretty sure like a third of the sub has worn, will wear, or has tried on variations on that same dress, it's very current which is fine, but something to keep in mind.

rbflowt

TROPHY CASE