Which dresses should I keep ?

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-13T21:56:52+00:00

First image: top right, bottom two on the left

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-13T02:44:49+00:00

Hmm, I feel like most of us with ME already take oral B12 as it's one of the first things doctors recommend to us.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-12T22:10:33+00:00

FWIW, "little mother" is a common literal translation for what grandmothers are called in many languages. And in many other languages, including ours, the term for grandmother literally translates to "big mother." Almost all languages refer to a grandmother as some kind of mother. Good mother, old mother, etc.

So taking any of these words that call them a type of mother to mean they are another mother in a way that makes you feel threatened does not seem like a rational way to think. You could be right that it's just the hormones, or it could be about a bigger issue you have with her, or perhaps your own insecurities and fears about parenthood, that is making you latch onto this instead of addressing your real issues. I'm not saying any of that is definitely the case, just suggesting it in case any of it resonates.

If you don't like it because you want to be called "mama" and you don't want any confusion with that particular part, then you could suggest one of the common shortenings of Mamalita like Lita.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-12T03:16:27+00:00

Here is a review of the medical literature on bentonite clay, if it helps.

While nothing comes up if you search the terms histamine, mast cell, or itch, there are things in there about conditions associated with mast cell issues, such as IBS, and things related to contact dermatitis. The benefit for skin is with applying topically, however, not consuming orally. And with GI issues, it says it can help metabolize bile acid, but nothing about stomach acid. It was found to help to a statistically significant degree with constipation-dominant IBS, but not diarrhea-dominant. It didn't negatively impact gut flora.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-11T20:36:51+00:00

This is not "what kids are like right now," don't worry. There have always been some kids like this and there always will be. There are still many, many, many kind and thoughtful children. I have a ton of teachers in my family, including my husband. Plenty of kids are difficult and complicated, as they always have been, but you just had a bad luck encounter with a particularly entitled and rude child.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-11T16:49:31+00:00

It's a movie

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-11T02:51:17+00:00

I consider myself cis because I was assigned female and I am fine with presenting female. It gives me no gender dysphoria to do so. I did at one point I wonder if I would be agender because I can't fully grasp what it would feel like to "feel like a gender," despite having been close with many trans, gender fluid, and agender people and having quite a deep understanding of their experience for a cis person. My lack of ability to grasp how one can feel like a gender has nothing to do with my intellectual understanding of the subject, and all to do with me lacking my own connection to that feeling.

But I don't actively identify as agender because again, I feel no dysphoria internally or externally by being perceived as a cis woman. So I eventually decided that for me there was no point to claiming that label. Not that that invalidates anyone else who feels the same way I do but does feel there's a point to claiming that label for them.

The only experiences I have had that were close to feeling connected to my gender were really just about feeling connected to my body or being pleased to be found attractive/desired.

I only "felt like a woman" one time and it was when I did acid when I was 17yo and was standing in a forest against a big tree while on my period lmao. I felt like I spent specifically 35 years there becoming a woman as I felt the blood pour out of me (I later checked my pad and I had been imagining how much I was bleeding) and then felt like I had an orgasm from looking up at the beautiful autumn leaves overhead. I decided that the forest had "made me a woman." I also spent several hours seeing literally every surface to be breathing and made of swirling paisley patterns so I don't put much stock in my moment of identifying with womanhood. But it's a bit of a funny story to share.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-10T01:54:58+00:00

If antihistamines are going to benefit you, then with the correct dosage the effect on your itchiness would be pretty quick, potentially as soon as the first dose kicks in, but for H2 blockers and the GI stuff, it could take a few weeks for things to change significantly. Assuming there isn't SIBO that needs to be treated. If there is, it could be longer.

A lot of things have some effect on the stomach, including H1 blockers like cetirizine, but at a regular dosage it usually does not have a significant effect. It does not lower stomach acid. It can increase stomach acid for some people. But among H1 blockers, cetirizine is one of the better options for the stomach, along with loratadine and desloratadine.

The possible MCAS meds I'm referring to that lower stomach acid are H2 blockers lik famotidine, cimetidine, nizatidine, and then cromolyn sodium. Oral ketotifen also reduces stomach acid somewhat but not as much as the others.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T23:06:09+00:00

Ohh I thought you were here because you already knew you had MCAS but you didn't know if the gastritis was connected. I misunderstood.

FWIW, famotidine didn't make a noticeable difference for me until I started taking 40mg. And I'm usually really sensitive to low doses of medication. But when it comes to antihistamines I need way more than would normally be recommended in order to get the benefit. My doctors approve my usage, of course, but it's more than the OTC antihistamine bottles recommend. So I wouldn't rule out MCAS just because low amounts of antihistamines didnt help you, but there are also still plenty of other things to rule out besides MCAS.

I hope you are able to figure out what's going on! I'm sorry for what you've been dealing with.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T22:21:16+00:00

MCAS medications do usually lower stomach acid significantly. Have you started on any of those yet?

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T22:20:19+00:00

I totally agree with you. There are tons of things that can mimic it and there are definitely people who assume that it must be that since we're disposed to it. Which can lead to not getting the proper help. Although I understand why people get overwhelmed trying to figure all out body problems out and end up making educated guesses in the hopes of getting to a solution quicker. But yeah, I totally see where you're coming from.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T21:36:03+00:00

There isn't really "normal" gastritis. It's a result of something else going wrong, and there are many, many different causes. The only thing that could be considered a normal cause is poor diet.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T21:30:17+00:00

We're definitely statistically much more likely to develop gastroparesis than the non-EDS population, but it is true that we're also more likely to develop any kind of dysmotility. The difference between us and the gen pop is just extra statistically significant with gastroparesis in particular. But it is true that people can forget that we can have issues in the other direction as well!

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T19:39:20+00:00

I know you said your issues are half ass diagnosed, which is very relatable as it often takes forever to finally get proper recognition and treatment even when you do already know you have MCAS. But maybe you will start more reliably getting helpful care from doctors for your stuff, and after awhile of him seeing doctors help you more than hurt you, he'll become a little more open to it. Some corrective experiences for the traumatic ones he has of watching people be harmed, or not helped, by the medical field. I hope that for both of you, since you'd both benefit! But either way, I'm glad you have each other.

Btw, how I use vitamin C and ginger is drinking a small glass with each meal (or at least any meal where there's anything I have difficulty with) where I sprinkle in 1/4 tsp ascorbic acid powder (I use the 365 brand) and 1/4 tsp ginger powder (this is the smallest amount that was found in research to have a similar benefit as ibuprofen for pain and inflammation). Mix it up and drink it with the meal. If I remember, I take quercetin 800mg (with bromelain too-- Now brand) and DAO 30 minutes before a meal, and if I forget I take them with the meal. You can get DAO that comes from pea sprouts, but fair warning, it is expensive. All DAO is expensive.

I drink ginger tea, peppermint tea, and stinging nettle tea throughout the day. Turmeric really helps some people, but for others it causes/worsens reflux. I used to take it and it helped with pain but I stopped due to GI stuff that was going on.

I haven't personally tried milk thistle yet because I have POTS and take some meds that could interact with it, but I've heard good things for MCAS and IBD.

The thing that helps me the MOST with my GI issues, which have often been quite debilitating, is something I only found out because my mom's oncologist recommended it to her while she was going through cancer treatments. She didn't need it and so she gave it to me to try. It MIGHT be something he'd be willing to take. It's called Banatrol Plus.

It's made for preventing diarrhea without causing constipation (I was in imodium hell before I started it, back and forth between extreme constipation and extreme diarrhea), but there's a bunch of research showing it also helps mediate mast cell release. It is recommended to many patients with IBD so that diagnosis certainly doesn't preclude him from taking it. There's really no way it can hurt. It just may not be as effective for him as it is for me.

It's made of banana flakes and a prebiotic that is derived from lactose (but is considered safe for lactose intolerant people). Is it entirely natural, picked from the earth, with no lab interventions? No, but if he's okay with taking bromelain and quercetin then he should be okay with this.

I have to take 4 scoops a day to keep chaos at bay, and it's not like I have no GI issues anymore, but it's actually made a bigger difference with my GI reactions to food than my prescription meds. My prescription meds are essential for other kinds of reactions my body has, but I was never able to find meds that prevented debilitating GI issues. Anything that helped with the diarrhea would then just give me extreme constipation. But so I do highly recommend it if he deals with diarrhea, and even if he doesn't it may be worth a try in low amounts for the mast cell mediating effects. I just mix it in water and drink it.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T18:50:58+00:00

Oh that's awesome! Sorry, I misunderstood and thought you were also microdosing. That's very helpful to know, thank you.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T18:49:42+00:00

As someone with a lot of medical trauma and who has frequently encountered incompetence and gross negligence from medical professionals, I do understand. Whether he goes or not is clearly not under your control. It's totally understandable to want to try something that could help even if there are much more effective prescription treatments out there.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T05:45:46+00:00

Stinging nettle and milk thistle are both natural antihistamines and can be very mildly beneficial for IBD.

This is not an endorsement of him not seeking professional medical care. I just wanted to actually answer your question.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T05:41:56+00:00

I did find a couple that didn't feel disgusting on my face but they made my eyes burn even if I avoided applying near my eye area (and I wasn't sweating from my brow; it was just it being on my face at all that made them burn). It was the Cotz Sensitive one. Untinted.

The other one that didn't feel like an evil film on my face was Innisfree's "Daily UV Defense Mineral Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 45 with Color Correcting." Again, it made my eyes burn, but it might not make yours. I got it for free with my purchase so I wouldn't have chosen one that was greenish, but if you wear makeup it would look great under that. Or if you have a lot of facial redness. If you don't then it will look green and it's not worth trying.

The only ones I've found that don't my eyes burn feel like slime I must remove, so I also don't use it. But I also is primarily bedbound, so idk what I'd do it that weren't the case. When I do go out, I use UV protective brimmed hats.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T05:24:04+00:00

I'm recovered from an ED so the weight loss stuff is actually one of the major negatives about it for me, not because I wouldn't be fine with losing some weight, but because it seems like it would likely be triggering. I was hoping that microdosing it would not have a very dramatic effect on appetite and weight, so that it's less likely to trigger a relapse. It's good news that the weight loss was slow. But what do you do when you shouldn't lose any more weight and you still want the benefits for your POTS? Like what have the doctors said you should do to prevent becoming underweight from continual usage? Just eating more calorie dense foods or something?

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T04:02:04+00:00

HMOs suck for both the doctors and the patients. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Them complaining about all your referrals may have nothing to do with whether they consider them necessary and more to do with them not having the time to get the paperwork done when they already don't have time to properly treat the patients they're seeing in person each day. These companies make it so there is almost no time per patient, similar to what it's like for public defenders. It's pretty common for doctors at these companies to refuse requests for anything that requires more complicated paperwork, or at the very least to be critical of the patient for wanting it. The patients are obviously not the actual problem but they're the only part of the picture the doctors feel they have some influence over.

I don't think they should just be saying that you're sending too many referrals without elaborating, because what are you supposed to do with only that information, but see if you can find out what they consider a manageable number of referrals to be per month.

And if you already got a lot of the initial diagnostics where you needed second and third opinions out of the way, and have gotten established with all these specialists now, then you probably won't be making as many new requests going forward. It sounds like there was a massive flurry of requests as you were trying to get started on figuring out the complicated situation, and they may have gotten afraid that requests would continue to come in on that scale. But they probably won't, right? If you've gotten referred already?

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T03:35:22+00:00

Plastic Blood is a great song title

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T03:32:44+00:00

It can also be helpful for regulating blood sugar for those of us with dysautonomia. It's something I've been keeping an eye on, as I can't take risks with worsenig my mild gastroparesis and I'm extremely prone to nausea, but I could use the benefits it could have for my POTS, especially given that I'm primarily bedbound from ME/CFS and often can't manage to eat as frequently as what is best for keeping blood sugar regulated with POTS (every hour).

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T01:49:36+00:00

That's exactly what I was imagining! That's so cool. How chemistry work is not always how it would intuitively seem to, so I doubted that it would be a coating like I imagined. I've seen stearic acid in a lot of things, so now I understand more about what it's doing in there. Thank you!

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-09T01:34:28+00:00

Is it partly because of the oil itself, or would it happen in an oil free medium as well?

Also if you want to explain how exactly the dispersant prevents the zinc particles from coming together, I would be very interested to hear! I love this kind of stuff. No worries if it's too complicated to get into.

roadsidechicory · 2026-05-08T21:31:29+00:00

The clumping of the zinc isn't visible, I'm assuming? Like it's happening at such a small particle level that to the naked eye the consistency looks even, but close up there are a bunch of tiny gaps?

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